Friday, May 28, 2004
Gathered up this stuff yesterday and the previous night. Too busy to kick it out promptly. Forgive my priority issues. As well as any typos. Cheers!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh, and, uh, yesterday in History: May 27 1995 - In Charlottesville, VA, Christopher Reeve was paralyzed after being thrown from his horse during a jumping event.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chief MidAtlantic Correspondent Glenn McMillen provides the following important message:
New York bans used panties
If you're in the market for previously worn lingerie, soon you'll need to find somewhere other than New York for your supply. The City Council is considering making it illegal to sell previously worn (or at least returned) undies and such.
Apparently folks were so grossed out by a news report that showed such esteemed retailers as Saks Fifth Avenue and Macy's reselling used or returned underwear that they want to put a legal stop to it. Discussions are on-going to determine if the restrictions should exclude bras, undershirts, socks and bathingsuits.
The ick factor, according to Donald Halperin of the New York Metropolitan Retailers Association, really is limited to women's undergarments...'because women care more about such issues more than men.'
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Disgusting Senior Prank
Ah, those crazy high school seniors. Here's another one, though this is more disgusting than demented. In Eminence, IN, someone - presumed to be from the senior class - spread hundreds of pounds of manure on the school doors and around the building. To make it more repulsive, said individual(s) scattered dead animals, animal blood and 'for sale' signs outside of the school. (Yes, the for sale signs were stolen). Because 2004 was painted on the grass, all fingers are pointing at the senior class.
Stockton said school officials would prosecute if the guilty parties were found, and the Morgan County Sheriff's Department was investigating.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Yum! Fresh Python Head!
Friendly neighbor Cynthia Christensen rolled her motorized wheelchair down the street to hang out and chat with some neighbors, one of whom happened to have her 1 1/2 foot python with her. Cyndi asked if she could hold it. Jennie (the snakes owner) said sure.
Then things got weird.
Cyndi suddenly said she was going to bite the snake's head off. Jennie turned around to see what the heck Cyndi was talking about and there you have it: headless dead snake, full mouth on Cyndi! Charges are pending.
One person across the street witnessed the decapitation which in my opinion takes sushi to a whole new level.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Let Them Watch Porn!
LL Media, in Nordjylland, Denmark, has decided that it's a good idea to offer all of its employees free subscriptions to internet porn. Figuring that 80% of the hits on the internet are on porn sites, the company's director believes that porn access should be a standard fringe benefit.
In return for this service the company blocks all access to porn pages during office hours.
Nielson is hoping that letting folks get their internet jollies for what equates to about 5 bucks per person per week will make his employees more relaxed and efficient.
CooOOOoool!
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Something for the Brits to be Proud of
Tom Gibson, 24, from London has broken the world record for continuous television watching. Tom started his staring on Tuesday in a site with full public view. During the gruelling event, Tom watched back to back episodes of cartoons, movies, and other standard tv fair. He managed to stay awake and staring for 47 hours and 8 minutes, destroying the previously held record of 47 hours and 16 seconds.
A quote from the over achiever: "This was no easy task. On Wednesday morning at about 2am I felt like I was going to nod off but I stood up and stretched my legs to keep me awake - but never took my eyes off the screen. My TV highlight would have to be watching the Champions League."
Ah, yes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh, and, uh, yesterday in History: May 27 1995 - In Charlottesville, VA, Christopher Reeve was paralyzed after being thrown from his horse during a jumping event.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chief MidAtlantic Correspondent Glenn McMillen provides the following important message:
New York bans used panties
If you're in the market for previously worn lingerie, soon you'll need to find somewhere other than New York for your supply. The City Council is considering making it illegal to sell previously worn (or at least returned) undies and such.
Apparently folks were so grossed out by a news report that showed such esteemed retailers as Saks Fifth Avenue and Macy's reselling used or returned underwear that they want to put a legal stop to it. Discussions are on-going to determine if the restrictions should exclude bras, undershirts, socks and bathingsuits.
The ick factor, according to Donald Halperin of the New York Metropolitan Retailers Association, really is limited to women's undergarments...'because women care more about such issues more than men.'
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Disgusting Senior Prank
Ah, those crazy high school seniors. Here's another one, though this is more disgusting than demented. In Eminence, IN, someone - presumed to be from the senior class - spread hundreds of pounds of manure on the school doors and around the building. To make it more repulsive, said individual(s) scattered dead animals, animal blood and 'for sale' signs outside of the school. (Yes, the for sale signs were stolen). Because 2004 was painted on the grass, all fingers are pointing at the senior class.
Stockton said school officials would prosecute if the guilty parties were found, and the Morgan County Sheriff's Department was investigating.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Yum! Fresh Python Head!
Friendly neighbor Cynthia Christensen rolled her motorized wheelchair down the street to hang out and chat with some neighbors, one of whom happened to have her 1 1/2 foot python with her. Cyndi asked if she could hold it. Jennie (the snakes owner) said sure.
Then things got weird.
Cyndi suddenly said she was going to bite the snake's head off. Jennie turned around to see what the heck Cyndi was talking about and there you have it: headless dead snake, full mouth on Cyndi! Charges are pending.
One person across the street witnessed the decapitation which in my opinion takes sushi to a whole new level.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Let Them Watch Porn!
LL Media, in Nordjylland, Denmark, has decided that it's a good idea to offer all of its employees free subscriptions to internet porn. Figuring that 80% of the hits on the internet are on porn sites, the company's director believes that porn access should be a standard fringe benefit.
In return for this service the company blocks all access to porn pages during office hours.
Nielson is hoping that letting folks get their internet jollies for what equates to about 5 bucks per person per week will make his employees more relaxed and efficient.
CooOOOoool!
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Something for the Brits to be Proud of
Tom Gibson, 24, from London has broken the world record for continuous television watching. Tom started his staring on Tuesday in a site with full public view. During the gruelling event, Tom watched back to back episodes of cartoons, movies, and other standard tv fair. He managed to stay awake and staring for 47 hours and 8 minutes, destroying the previously held record of 47 hours and 16 seconds.
A quote from the over achiever: "This was no easy task. On Wednesday morning at about 2am I felt like I was going to nod off but I stood up and stretched my legs to keep me awake - but never took my eyes off the screen. My TV highlight would have to be watching the Champions League."
Ah, yes.
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Waaaaaaaah! Statues Crying in Australia
A whole bunch of statues of Jesus and/or V Mary have started crying and oozing rose-scented oil last week. Oh, and some crucifixes, tablecloths, and a set of prayer-beads. Drip drip drip. Hundreds of folks have swarmed about a Vietnamese community hall in Brisbane to take a peek at the drippy statues, which are now kept behind glass.
Father Adrian Farrelly (no relation to the Farrelly brothers movie guys I'm sure) has been assigned by the church to check into this and determine if it's a hoax or not. Will keep you apprised.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Dumb Crook
Ernest Di Falco is, shall we say, dumber than a bag of hammers. Ernest committed a bank bobbery in Rutherford, NJ, and then had the supreme stupidity to ask the cashier if he would give him a ride to his getaway car.
In lieu of giving him a ride, the cashier instead ordered a taxi for Ernie, taking the tag numbers as the taxi left and giving them to the cops.
Then again, the staff at the bank knew who the bobber was: he used to work at a nearby pizza shop. Ernie was captured by police, who recovered the following:
1. money
2. a fake gun
3. an old revolver w/7 bullets.
He's a thinker, that one.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Pornfest Cancelled
Western Washington University is not going to hold their annual Pornfest, for the first time in 12 years. Angered parents condemned the Pornfest, and the University has decided that it is uncouth to have fun activities like a condom hunt and an info booth on self-gratification.
Party Poopers.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Attack of the Killer Swan
Folks of Nottinghamshire have a problem at their local pond. A big meanie swan appears to have murdered a springer spaniel in its zeal to save its family. We have a statement from George Kennedy, a witness to the brutal attack in which the big old bird battered the dog with its mighty wings and then held it under water with its beak.
An eye-witness account by George Kennedy:
"The dog was swimming in the water, chasing the wildfowl, when the cob went for it. He just rushed up, hissing, reared up and hit the dog with his flapping wings. That seemed to stun it. Then he pulled the dog under the water. It was over in the blink of an eye - the dog didn't stand a chance."
Another dog has gone missing in the past few days. Scary scary swan.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Hmrs Iliad in txt spk
Grk pm 'The Iliad' hs bn shrnk dwn 2 IM spk, in an attmpt 2 gt mr flks 2 rd it. Bk 2 is nw nly 24 wrds. Nt poetic, bt shrt. Hr is bk 2:
""Agamemnon hd a dream: Troy not defended. Ordered attack! But Trojans knew they were coming n were prepared. Achilles sat sulking in his tent."
Hm.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
A whole bunch of statues of Jesus and/or V Mary have started crying and oozing rose-scented oil last week. Oh, and some crucifixes, tablecloths, and a set of prayer-beads. Drip drip drip. Hundreds of folks have swarmed about a Vietnamese community hall in Brisbane to take a peek at the drippy statues, which are now kept behind glass.
Father Adrian Farrelly (no relation to the Farrelly brothers movie guys I'm sure) has been assigned by the church to check into this and determine if it's a hoax or not. Will keep you apprised.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Dumb Crook
Ernest Di Falco is, shall we say, dumber than a bag of hammers. Ernest committed a bank bobbery in Rutherford, NJ, and then had the supreme stupidity to ask the cashier if he would give him a ride to his getaway car.
In lieu of giving him a ride, the cashier instead ordered a taxi for Ernie, taking the tag numbers as the taxi left and giving them to the cops.
Then again, the staff at the bank knew who the bobber was: he used to work at a nearby pizza shop. Ernie was captured by police, who recovered the following:
1. money
2. a fake gun
3. an old revolver w/7 bullets.
He's a thinker, that one.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Pornfest Cancelled
Western Washington University is not going to hold their annual Pornfest, for the first time in 12 years. Angered parents condemned the Pornfest, and the University has decided that it is uncouth to have fun activities like a condom hunt and an info booth on self-gratification.
Party Poopers.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Attack of the Killer Swan
Folks of Nottinghamshire have a problem at their local pond. A big meanie swan appears to have murdered a springer spaniel in its zeal to save its family. We have a statement from George Kennedy, a witness to the brutal attack in which the big old bird battered the dog with its mighty wings and then held it under water with its beak.
An eye-witness account by George Kennedy:
"The dog was swimming in the water, chasing the wildfowl, when the cob went for it. He just rushed up, hissing, reared up and hit the dog with his flapping wings. That seemed to stun it. Then he pulled the dog under the water. It was over in the blink of an eye - the dog didn't stand a chance."
Another dog has gone missing in the past few days. Scary scary swan.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Hmrs Iliad in txt spk
Grk pm 'The Iliad' hs bn shrnk dwn 2 IM spk, in an attmpt 2 gt mr flks 2 rd it. Bk 2 is nw nly 24 wrds. Nt poetic, bt shrt. Hr is bk 2:
""Agamemnon hd a dream: Troy not defended. Ordered attack! But Trojans knew they were coming n were prepared. Achilles sat sulking in his tent."
Hm.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Homophobe alert! Time to move to South Carolina!
ChristianExodus.org has decided to move forward with their plans to force a state to secede from the union and become its own sovereign nation. The corporation is most miffed that America has turned into a land of debauchery and this whole same-sex marriage thingy is just the last straw!
So here's the plan: ChristianExodus needs about 12000 political Christians to move to South Carolina. Then, after everyone is settled with their gazing balls and pink flamingos in place in the front yard, they're to actively join the fight to secede.
The new nation, which will still be known as South Carolina, should be up and running by 2016.
Cory Burnell, the president of ChristianExodus (and likely president of South Carolina), doesn't have any specifics about rules or laws or anything in his new country. His opinion is "Independence first, details later."
You go, Cory.
As my friend Ricky says: da link
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Ding Dong the Witch is Dead
There's one less witch in Dahod, thanks to brothers Savsinh and Raman Makwana. Ya see, one of their brothers died. And then HIS daughter died from massive vomiting and such. And they just KNEW it was because of their evil neighbor Ditaben Punia Sanghor.
Never mind the fact that she was just a quiet widow struggling to raise her family. That was just pretend. In fact, when their suspicions were originally tweaked, the Makwana brothers took her and 3 of her Mahjongg partners...er...witch buddies...to a hadwa in a neighboring village to determine which one of them was the true follower of the dark arts. This hadwa said the witch was one of the other women. So they took them to ANOTHER hadwa, and got the response they wanted: Ditaben is a witch!
So the villagers tried to de-witchify Ditaben, by shaving her hair and such. But Dita didn't like it. So that made them know even MORE that she's a witch. Then when the two family members died, Savsinh says that ‘‘She (Ditaben) told us that this was just the beginning and all our family members will meet the same fate. We had no other option but to kill her.’’
So they did. They grabbed a big old axe and smashed her in the head. But see, it's okay because there was no blood, see. In fact, according to Savsinh, ‘‘I hit her thrice with the axe but no blood came out. It’s quite clear that she was a daakan. We had to repeatedly hit her on the head before she died. But still, no blood came out." So she was CLEARLY a witch!
Savsinh is in jail now, and Raman will likely follow suit. But it's okay. 'Cause they did nothing wrong.
I just wonder...did she weigh...the same as a DUCK?!?!
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Bush Pronunciation Tips
Never mind the whole Future of Iraq thing, GW's pronunciations were on a high pitch last night during his address at the US Army War College in Carlisle, PA.
His goberunmental dismussion included not one, not two, but THREE butcherings of the name Abu Ghraib.
1. Abugah-rayp
2. Abu-garon
3. Abu-garah
Blame it on the headlong flip he did off his bike this weekend.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
SEPTA Terror Risk?
A motion detector was found in a rail yard by Philly's 30th Street Station and was turned over to the FBI, what with the whole Madrid train bombing the terrorists are going to get us and we're all gonna die mentality.
Turns out that after exhaustive investigation the FBI has determined that it was NOT part of a plan to attack our railways. Rather, it was placed there by a tenured employee who used it to warn him when his boss was coming down the tunnels/tracks to check on him. Cause, see, he liked to sleep on the job. And SEPTA apparently doesn't like that.
SEPTA is considering his future with the company as we speak, with a final decision to be made once the FBI's report is finalized.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Madonna Target of Terrorists
Reports have it that Madonna has been the target of Palestinian terrorist threats, and dagnabbit she's not gonna put her family at risk. So she's cancelled 3 of her Israeli concerts in response to the terrifying letters from the Palestinians.
Madonna believes that she is a target because of her Jewish Kabbalah religion and that little red string she wears around her wrist. Not so, say media sources. Rather, she is a target because she is a Symbol of the West. And they hate the West.
I'm sure it has nothing to do with her crummy remake of American Pie.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
ChristianExodus.org has decided to move forward with their plans to force a state to secede from the union and become its own sovereign nation. The corporation is most miffed that America has turned into a land of debauchery and this whole same-sex marriage thingy is just the last straw!
So here's the plan: ChristianExodus needs about 12000 political Christians to move to South Carolina. Then, after everyone is settled with their gazing balls and pink flamingos in place in the front yard, they're to actively join the fight to secede.
The new nation, which will still be known as South Carolina, should be up and running by 2016.
Cory Burnell, the president of ChristianExodus (and likely president of South Carolina), doesn't have any specifics about rules or laws or anything in his new country. His opinion is "Independence first, details later."
You go, Cory.
As my friend Ricky says: da link
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Ding Dong the Witch is Dead
There's one less witch in Dahod, thanks to brothers Savsinh and Raman Makwana. Ya see, one of their brothers died. And then HIS daughter died from massive vomiting and such. And they just KNEW it was because of their evil neighbor Ditaben Punia Sanghor.
Never mind the fact that she was just a quiet widow struggling to raise her family. That was just pretend. In fact, when their suspicions were originally tweaked, the Makwana brothers took her and 3 of her Mahjongg partners...er...witch buddies...to a hadwa in a neighboring village to determine which one of them was the true follower of the dark arts. This hadwa said the witch was one of the other women. So they took them to ANOTHER hadwa, and got the response they wanted: Ditaben is a witch!
So the villagers tried to de-witchify Ditaben, by shaving her hair and such. But Dita didn't like it. So that made them know even MORE that she's a witch. Then when the two family members died, Savsinh says that ‘‘She (Ditaben) told us that this was just the beginning and all our family members will meet the same fate. We had no other option but to kill her.’’
So they did. They grabbed a big old axe and smashed her in the head. But see, it's okay because there was no blood, see. In fact, according to Savsinh, ‘‘I hit her thrice with the axe but no blood came out. It’s quite clear that she was a daakan. We had to repeatedly hit her on the head before she died. But still, no blood came out." So she was CLEARLY a witch!
Savsinh is in jail now, and Raman will likely follow suit. But it's okay. 'Cause they did nothing wrong.
I just wonder...did she weigh...the same as a DUCK?!?!
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Bush Pronunciation Tips
Never mind the whole Future of Iraq thing, GW's pronunciations were on a high pitch last night during his address at the US Army War College in Carlisle, PA.
His goberunmental dismussion included not one, not two, but THREE butcherings of the name Abu Ghraib.
1. Abugah-rayp
2. Abu-garon
3. Abu-garah
Blame it on the headlong flip he did off his bike this weekend.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
SEPTA Terror Risk?
A motion detector was found in a rail yard by Philly's 30th Street Station and was turned over to the FBI, what with the whole Madrid train bombing the terrorists are going to get us and we're all gonna die mentality.
Turns out that after exhaustive investigation the FBI has determined that it was NOT part of a plan to attack our railways. Rather, it was placed there by a tenured employee who used it to warn him when his boss was coming down the tunnels/tracks to check on him. Cause, see, he liked to sleep on the job. And SEPTA apparently doesn't like that.
SEPTA is considering his future with the company as we speak, with a final decision to be made once the FBI's report is finalized.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Madonna Target of Terrorists
Reports have it that Madonna has been the target of Palestinian terrorist threats, and dagnabbit she's not gonna put her family at risk. So she's cancelled 3 of her Israeli concerts in response to the terrifying letters from the Palestinians.
Madonna believes that she is a target because of her Jewish Kabbalah religion and that little red string she wears around her wrist. Not so, say media sources. Rather, she is a target because she is a Symbol of the West. And they hate the West.
I'm sure it has nothing to do with her crummy remake of American Pie.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Monday, May 24, 2004
While amusing, independent research did not yield confirming results. If any of YOU have luck finding this item out there on eBay please kick the link my way. Thanks. So this may or may not be a hoax. But again, it IS amusing.
Ananova reports that a German woman got so ticked off at her husband after he made fun of her driving that she has decided to auction off a voodoo doll of him on eBay. Apparently dude (known as 'Careless Farmer') mocked his wife while he was auctioning off a car of his that he said she messed up. Farmer Dude listed every mark on his car and blamed them all squarely on his wife. "I had to become an eyewitness to the fact that it is actually possible to drive backwards without looking," he writes. "My wife did it." He also theorizes that perhaps his wife lost some brain cells giving birth.
She got miffed, put a voodoo doll of him out there on eBay for auction and reportedly has been inundated with emails telling her to divorce the bum and that women have every right to drive however they want.
Again, might be a hoax. Dunno yet.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Ananova reports that a German woman got so ticked off at her husband after he made fun of her driving that she has decided to auction off a voodoo doll of him on eBay. Apparently dude (known as 'Careless Farmer') mocked his wife while he was auctioning off a car of his that he said she messed up. Farmer Dude listed every mark on his car and blamed them all squarely on his wife. "I had to become an eyewitness to the fact that it is actually possible to drive backwards without looking," he writes. "My wife did it." He also theorizes that perhaps his wife lost some brain cells giving birth.
She got miffed, put a voodoo doll of him out there on eBay for auction and reportedly has been inundated with emails telling her to divorce the bum and that women have every right to drive however they want.
Again, might be a hoax. Dunno yet.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Your Tax Dollars at Work
The Pennsylvania Association of Professional Soil Scientists has been pushing to have Hazleton soil named as the official State Soil of Pennsylvania. It actually went through the State House (passing 177 -22) and now must make it through the Senate.
"Enough is enough," said state Rep. Kelly Lewis, . "I'm sure Hazleton soil is important to someone in the state. My people didn't elect me to worry about that stuff." Lewis has previously gotten people irritated by casting votes against naming celestite the state mineral and polka the state dance.
WHERE are his priorities???
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Wrong Place, Wrong Time
Another bungled bobbery occurred at a service station in Germany. Bucky tried to steal wine, energy drinks, and junk food from the station, little noticing that there was a 100-man police unit outside in the parking lot taking a break from a major assignment. Since the place had a large glass wall, the cops all got to see the bobber take the schtuff and leave without paying.
So he walked out of the building and found himself surrounded by scores of policemen, who returned the stolen goods to the store owner and then dragged his sorry butt down to the local police.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Another Suing Maniac
A man in China's Hunan province, we'll call him Chen, went to an alternative medicine guru because he had severe neck pains. Guru said not to worry, just eat 6 raw frogs a day and he would soon be rid of the neck pain.
So Chen did so, ate 130 of the buggers before he collapsed with severe stomach pains and headaches. Turns out he had filled his body up with parasites from the froggies.
Now Chen is suing the guru. I personally don't think he has a leg to stand on: Guru said he wouldn't have the neck pain. Well, he doesn't now, does he?
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Free flights for nice people
Delta's Low-Fare carrier 'Song' is offering an interesting program in an attempt to build customer loyalty and generate more bucks. The program? Free tickets to passengers who are nice to each other.
According to reports, you could qualify to earn one of 5000 round-trip tickets on Song if you just stay happy and friendly and maybe go out of your way to help someone else at the airport.
Isn't that sweet?
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Dagnabbit! Arnold's Used Cough Drop No Longer on eBay!
Drat. Some person saw Arnold spit out a cough drop into a trash can and diligently fished it out and posted it on ebay as Schwarzenegger DNA. Sadly, eBay yanked it, because that made the throat lozenge a body part. The poster does have the option to put the nasty thing back up on the auction block, but only if s/he posts it as a collectible instead.
Ew.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Garbage collectors clean up trash addiction
Neighbors got tired of the stench wafting from the home of an elderly woman in Guangzhou, China, so they called in the professionals. When the sanitation crew got there, they discovered the 70+ year old woman living in a home filled to the brim with old clothes, bottles, and scrap wood that she had been collecting for the past couple of years compulsively. The garbage collectors filled 3 garbage trucks and over 100 small carts with crud from her home, in spite of her protests that, for example, "The clothing's still clean, it's still wearable!"
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Another Stupid Person in China
Mao Kyan didn't want the cops to charge him with possession of a weapon as well as possession of drugs when they invaded his house. So instead of swallowing the drugs, he opted to swallow the knife.
So sad for him, it didn't go all the way down his throat and instead lodged there for an amazing 8 months! He apparently thought that the weapon had somehow dissolved in his stomach, so he didn’t think twice about it not coming out the other end (ouch! If it had) Then he started having a severe sore throat. Went to the docs, who found the knife lodged in his trachea. They immediately removed it, noting that it was a miracle he had survived and that the weapon "could have killed him at any second".
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
The Pennsylvania Association of Professional Soil Scientists has been pushing to have Hazleton soil named as the official State Soil of Pennsylvania. It actually went through the State House (passing 177 -22) and now must make it through the Senate.
"Enough is enough," said state Rep. Kelly Lewis, . "I'm sure Hazleton soil is important to someone in the state. My people didn't elect me to worry about that stuff." Lewis has previously gotten people irritated by casting votes against naming celestite the state mineral and polka the state dance.
WHERE are his priorities???
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Wrong Place, Wrong Time
Another bungled bobbery occurred at a service station in Germany. Bucky tried to steal wine, energy drinks, and junk food from the station, little noticing that there was a 100-man police unit outside in the parking lot taking a break from a major assignment. Since the place had a large glass wall, the cops all got to see the bobber take the schtuff and leave without paying.
So he walked out of the building and found himself surrounded by scores of policemen, who returned the stolen goods to the store owner and then dragged his sorry butt down to the local police.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Another Suing Maniac
A man in China's Hunan province, we'll call him Chen, went to an alternative medicine guru because he had severe neck pains. Guru said not to worry, just eat 6 raw frogs a day and he would soon be rid of the neck pain.
So Chen did so, ate 130 of the buggers before he collapsed with severe stomach pains and headaches. Turns out he had filled his body up with parasites from the froggies.
Now Chen is suing the guru. I personally don't think he has a leg to stand on: Guru said he wouldn't have the neck pain. Well, he doesn't now, does he?
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Free flights for nice people
Delta's Low-Fare carrier 'Song' is offering an interesting program in an attempt to build customer loyalty and generate more bucks. The program? Free tickets to passengers who are nice to each other.
According to reports, you could qualify to earn one of 5000 round-trip tickets on Song if you just stay happy and friendly and maybe go out of your way to help someone else at the airport.
Isn't that sweet?
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Dagnabbit! Arnold's Used Cough Drop No Longer on eBay!
Drat. Some person saw Arnold spit out a cough drop into a trash can and diligently fished it out and posted it on ebay as Schwarzenegger DNA. Sadly, eBay yanked it, because that made the throat lozenge a body part. The poster does have the option to put the nasty thing back up on the auction block, but only if s/he posts it as a collectible instead.
Ew.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Garbage collectors clean up trash addiction
Neighbors got tired of the stench wafting from the home of an elderly woman in Guangzhou, China, so they called in the professionals. When the sanitation crew got there, they discovered the 70+ year old woman living in a home filled to the brim with old clothes, bottles, and scrap wood that she had been collecting for the past couple of years compulsively. The garbage collectors filled 3 garbage trucks and over 100 small carts with crud from her home, in spite of her protests that, for example, "The clothing's still clean, it's still wearable!"
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Another Stupid Person in China
Mao Kyan didn't want the cops to charge him with possession of a weapon as well as possession of drugs when they invaded his house. So instead of swallowing the drugs, he opted to swallow the knife.
So sad for him, it didn't go all the way down his throat and instead lodged there for an amazing 8 months! He apparently thought that the weapon had somehow dissolved in his stomach, so he didn’t think twice about it not coming out the other end (ouch! If it had) Then he started having a severe sore throat. Went to the docs, who found the knife lodged in his trachea. They immediately removed it, noting that it was a miracle he had survived and that the weapon "could have killed him at any second".
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GEEK-O-RAMA
I cannot believe I didn't post this sooner.
I've known about the darned site for a month or so! Wow.
So, okay, Jay Maynard REALLY likes his SciFi. And he KNOWS that lots of folks out there share his passion. And he BELIEVES that maybe some of those folks out there have a desire, much like his, to dress like Tron. With the lights. And the disturbingly clingy body suit. At least disturbing on his body.
Words fail me when it comes to adequately describing what is herein contained.
So, um, without further ado, I bring you: Jay Maynard's Tron Costume
I cannot believe I didn't post this sooner.
I've known about the darned site for a month or so! Wow.
So, okay, Jay Maynard REALLY likes his SciFi. And he KNOWS that lots of folks out there share his passion. And he BELIEVES that maybe some of those folks out there have a desire, much like his, to dress like Tron. With the lights. And the disturbingly clingy body suit. At least disturbing on his body.
Words fail me when it comes to adequately describing what is herein contained.
So, um, without further ado, I bring you: Jay Maynard's Tron Costume
