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Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Link of the day, courtesy of Chief Correspondent Lord Mutter: http://www.ihatedimes.com/

Join the coalition against dimes, the scourge of America.

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Chief Correspondent Lord Mutter working over time...

Truth in Advertising

So a guy walks into a store in Taipei, thirsty as all git-out. He and his friends spy a tasty looking fizzy beverage, Bullwild Energy Drink, labeled as follows: "I am poisonous. Please do not drink."

Thinking it was a new advertising slogan, the gang buys some and - shockingly - are poisoned upon drinking it! One of them even kicked the bucket as a result. Turns out some very amusing person spiked the beverage with cyanide before putting it out on the store shelves.

Well, you can't say he didn't warn the victims.

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Truly Marketable Skills

Zhang Xingquan, 38, is a Chinese man who is going places. Where, I can't say. But where ever he ends up, he's likely the only guy who can walk on eggs without breaking them while at the same time pulling a car 60 feet by his ears.

There ya go.

He's a catch, I tell ya!

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The source of this specialness is a coworker one can only describe as a mildly retarded crackpot revolutionary.

http://www.verdant.net/

Only YOU can prevent consumerism's evil spread.

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Smoking Can Be Hazardous to Your Health

Jeff Foran is a dirty smoker. Apparently a stupid one as well. Seems the other night, old Jeffy went out and did some serious drinking.

As his designated driver drove along the road at a conservative 55 - 60 mph, Jeffy drunkenly smoked his cigarette.

Apparently the wind blew his smig out the window.

So Jeffy dove on out after it.

Jeff smashed up his face pretty well, road rashing his nose, eyes and chin, but again the luck of the idiots ruled and he did not die.

He also did not retrieve his cigarette.

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Stupid Mom of the Moment

So this woman decided to send her offspring to school at Huey Elementary School in West Philly. She got upset because her children were being bullied.

What to do? Why, what every sane and loving mother would do. According to the mom's handbook:

After picking up your children, and properly buckling them in, put your soccer mom van in gear, aim at the front door of the elementary school, and floor it.

After slamming the vehicle into the front doors of the school, mom was taken away for questioning.

Stupid.

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