Thursday, January 06, 2005
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Link of the Day: http://www.moviemistakes.com/bestof2004.php "Best of" Movie mistakes 2004. I love these things. Now I have to rent all these movies again to see the errors. Dag!
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Lord Mutter provides this tasty story...
Poor Austin Aitken couldn't stomach what he saw on Fear Factor the other night. Watching contestants chow down on dead rats purportedly caused his blood pressure to quickly rise, making him dizzy and light headed. And when he "ran away to his room" (to avoid the dastardly tv), Austin "bumped his head into the doorway." I know, I'm shocked too.
So upsetting was this entire event that Austin has filed a suit against NBC for $2.5 million. Per Austin's lawsuit, ""To have the individuals on the show eat (yes) and drink dead rats was crazy and from a viewer's point of view made me throw-up as well."
But don't try getting Austin to speak about his trials and tribulations: he has declared that he is only available on a paid-interview basis.
Pssst...Austin...two words: "remote control".
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Super Trooper Meow
So this guy in St George UT accidentally shot himself in the calf with a nail gun, and was driving lickety split fast as can be to the hospital, as his life's blood gushed out of his leg. UHP trooper Ben Lang noticed the speeder, put aside his donut, and commenced to chase him down.
Ben bellowed over a loud speaker to the dude to pull over. Rather than pull over, dude got out of his car at a stop light. Ben ordered him back into his car ('cause he didn't PULL OVER, see), so dude proceeded on to the hospital. There he was treated, and arrested for not stopping when ordered. D'oh!
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Another Obscene Christmas Morning
This time it was little Diamond Robinson, 9, who received a vulgar-phrase-carrying gift Christmas morning. Diamond was happily looking at her ugly new Cabbage Patch Doll's birth certificate and such when she noticed the serial number (which is alpha numeric) spelled out F*CKME.
"She was like, 'Dad, you need to see this.' She showed it to my wife and my wife called me and they showed it to me and I couldn't believe it," said Lucius Robinson, Diamond's dad.
Play-Along, the company that makes the dolls, swears that the number and thus the phrase was generated by a computer without human intervention.
Put THAT puppy up on eBAY!
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Also on this day, in 1998, Sonny Bono smashed into a tree that leaped out in his path while skiing. Bye Bye Sonny.
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Link of the Day: The Complete Story of Life on Earth:
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Update on the sad sad story of Beki Stewart, the kid with the obscene Monsters Inc GameBoy game. Lord Mutter did additional investigation last evening and has advised me that in fact, Beki's dad gave her a bootleg/blackmarket/illegal copy of the game for Christmas.
So it wasn't Disney! It was the Evil Doers that Mark decided to do business with. Ha HA!
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Dog Support
So this woman in Italy got divorced from her hubby, with him ending up paying her child support for their two children. Not satisfied with that, the wench went to court to obtain an order instructing him to pay support for their dog Pepi. Somehow the insane woman swayed the judge and now the ex gets to pay support for the food and vet bills that Pepi incurs to the tune of many hundred bucks per year. Ugh.
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Speaking of Dogs...
Chiclet, a Brazilian pet care firm, has launched its latest product to rave reviews: chewing gum for dogs. I can't picture my beagle chewing gum, but hey. This gum is actually made of edible leather and looks like a bone. Chiclet says it serves to destress the dogs and clean their teeth.
Strange. Sounds like a regular old chew toy to me.
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Have it Your Way...NOT
A 22 year old mystery man got ticked off at a Burger King in Sandy, PA. He went through the drive through and requested fries. Went told that they ran out, dude went ballistic, cursing out the staff and flipping the burger flippers the bird. Then he noticed that a couple of the employees had walked out to the parking lot to jot down his license plate number. So he floored it and nearly slammed one of them. Cops picked him up on Rt 255, but not after he fought with them and kicked out the back window of the police car.
The man WANTED his fries.
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I Want A Ride and I Want It Now
James Brown (no, not THAT James Brown) was visiting New Orleans and really really really wanted to get to the bus station. So he picked up the phone and dialed 911. Cops raced out to the phone booth where the call originated and there they found James, threatening to kill someone if he didn't get a ride to the bus station. Cops tried to reason with the dude, but it was hopeless. So they plopped him in their car and took him for a ride: to the slammer.
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*Hic*
A 67 year old man from the Bulgarian city of Plovdiv was knocked over by a car and taken to the hospital. At the hospital, doctors spoke to the still-conscious inidividual and determined that he was a touch intoxicated. Astronomically intoxicated. Buddy had a Blood Alcohol Content of 0.914 ~ almost double what is usually considered life-threatening! Docs ran the tests 5 times to be sure they were seeing straighter than their patient and yup, that's the BAC. Buddy was treated for minor head injuries and is in stable condition.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Link of the Day: Hubert, the invisible beaver deity. Hmm.
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From Lord Mutter:
Disney has an open developer position
Little Beki Stewart was oh-so-excited that her daddy, Mark, had bought her a new GameBoy machine and the Monsters,Inc, game for Christmas. Imagine the 7 year old's surprise and dismay to see the words 'F**k off and die' on her screen as the game ran its opening credits.
Mark is kind of ticked off about it. It was her big present and now it's dirty. Disney so far has no comment.
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Love Story
Vinka Mijovic, 32, from Garas (Serbia) was dating some old guy, Miodrag Tomovic, for his money. Boy was she mad when he died before they could get married.
Not letting that hold her back, Vinka searched and found an evil registrar and two evil friends to lie and say that she and the living Miodrag had shown up, gotten a license, and gotten married before them.
Then she waited for a couple of weeks and 'suddenly' discovered that Miodrag had died, poor guy, and his fortune was now to be turned over to her.
Such a wise woman. Bummer that the cops found out that dude was dead well before the announcement and that his signature on the marriage docs was forged. So now Vinka is poor again and shacked up in jail for the next 18 months.
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A New Excuse...
Abu Hamza al-Masri (one of those radical muslim clerics we're always hearing about) failed to appear before a British court because...his toenails are too long and now he can't walk.
Somehow this bizarrely stupid excuse worked for Hamza, who faces charges of urging the killing of Jews, of terror-related offenses, intent to stir up racial hatred and such.
Hamza has 2 weeks to get a pedicure and appear in court.
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