Daily Drivel

Today in History: Feb 8 1990 After "60 Minutes" commentator Andy Rooney expresses his view that "blacks have watered down genes because the less intelligent ones are the ones that have the most children", he is suspended for a month by CBS. Rooney claims the remarks are fabricated --dailyrotten

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Link of the day: http://www.backtable.org/~blade/fnord/

FNORD: "... we at F.N.O.R.D. try to make you less sick and tired of being fed up with people not being fed up with being sick and tired by providing things of various degrees of Discordian mayhem so that you can be fed up with everyone else being fed up about being sick and tired of being sick and tired and be sick and tired in a relaxed and illuminated way. "

Be sure to check out the Emergency Spanish Phrases. A couple are true keepers.

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Jesus Brick: Make this the Cornerstone of YOUR House!

Ditto Dalcher, of North Carolina, was sitting in his home a couple of years ago when he noticed that one of the bricks above his fireplace seemed to have the face of Jesus staring down at him. He was happy to have Jesus' face on his wall, and thought little of it again. Until, that is, the Virgin Mary grilled cheese and Jesus in a skillet sales on eBay.

Then he decided to share his religious find in the same way.

The auction ends on Friday, and bids at this time are at $535 for the Jesus Brick. You may also bid on a picture of the Jesus Brick, if you are so inclined. http://tinyurl.com/53emy

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Harold "Bet the Farm" Friedline brightened my morning with the following tidbit:

Talk About Your Sports Nuts!

Geoff Huish is not one to go back on his word, and boy did he prove it. An avid Welsh rugby fan, convinced that his team would lose to England as they have for the past 12 years, told fellow drinkers at his pub that "If Wales win I'll cut my balls off."

Bummer for 26 year old Geoff. Wales won. So he right away hustled home, lopped off his little boys, and walked back to the bar to show everyone that he is the king of follow-through.

He's now in the hospital for both his physical and mental problems.

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Nature or Nurture - Penguin Style

Keepers at the Bremerhaven Zoo in Bremen, Germany, just figured out why their penguins aren't reproducing, and dagnabbit they're doing something about it. DNA tests were run on 3 sets of their penguins to see why no chicks had been produced. According to the zoo director, these birds had been mating for years, and one childless couple had even adopted a stone that they raised as their own little egg. The tests showed what caused the problem: 3 of their 5 penguin couples are gay partnerships.

The zoo director, Heike Kueck, has imported four hot Swedish female penguins to seduce the gay birds and is hoping to see some baby chicks pretty darned soon. If, however, it turns out that the homosexual birds are happy in their current relationships (which actually is somewhat expected), Heike has a back-up plan: two straight male penguins are flying in as well, "so that the ladies don't miss out altogether".

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If You Like Pina Coladas, And Getting Caught in the Rain....

Bakr Melhem was bored in his marriage to Sanaa, so he hooked up virtually with a chick on the internet.

Said chick went by the name of Jamila and her interests included reading. Whoo hoo! Bakr went by the name of Adnan, and Adnan and Jamila fell in love over the internet. They flirted online and their relationship blossomed. So they arranged to meet at a bus station.

Boy was Bakr/Adnan surprised when he saw his internet vixen: Jamila was Sanaa!

Unlike the wussy Rupert Holmes song http://users.cis.net/sammy/escape.htm , Bakr was ticked off at his wife's deception.

He immediately became enraged and declared "I Divorce Thee" three times, thus ending their marriage by Islamic law. Word is that she screamed 'liar' at him right before she fainted from the shock.

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