Friday, October 22, 2004
Today in History: Oct 22 1844 Jesus Christ fails to appear to the Seventh Day Adventists, led by Bible scientist William Miller. The Millerites were expecting the End Times to accompany the appearance of the Savior, so that didn't happen either. --dailyrotten
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Link of the Day: http://www.thetoiletonline.com/inventions/horsepants.htm
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PC Gone Amok
In Puyallup School District (Washington) it will be the Year Without a Halloween. See, the school district officials have decided that really, Halloween parties waste classroom time and some families can't afford costumes. And, perhaps most importantly, celebrating Halloween might offend real witches.
Schools have had complaints in the past from Wiccans in the area who are offended primarily by witches with pointy noses. "Witches with pointy noses are not respective symbols of the Wiccan religion" say district spokeswoman Karen Hansen. Any students who show up in a costume might be sent home.
Aside from the improper use of the word 'respective', I'm thinkin' Karen et al are idiots.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
More School Daze
Lurella Amica stopped off at her little girl's school in Macon, GA, to drop off a note to her 9 year old daughter. When she got there, kiddo told Lurella that her big meanie teacher Katrina Ann Rucker had thrown her backpack into the trash!
Lurella then tried to get the bag out of the trash, but Katrina didn't like that - no, not one bit! So Katrina grabbed it too. Katrina and Lurella fought over the bag and Lurella wrested it away. So Katrina (remember this is the teacher) picked up a chair and WHACK slammed the mom in the back, knocking her to the floor. Pummelling ensued!
All this in front of an entire classroom of 4th graders!
Kiddo was upset that her mom was being pummelled, and ran up to tell her teacher to stop hitting her mom - so Katrina hit the little girl, pulled her hair, shoved her out of the way and went back to battering mom.
"A school administrator and another teacher had to pull the teacher off the mother," Macon police spokeswoman Melanie Hofmann said.
Mom's in the hospital now, and Katrina is in jail. Katrina's excuse? "The teacher said she was defending herself because she gets a shot in that hand and it hurt."
"Let me assure you the school is safe and that our students have been involved in appropriate instructional activities throughout the day," was the information sent home that day from school.
Uh huh.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
News with Local Flavor:
Bear Bus Driver Shows Riders Bare Beau
Samantha Hall is proud of her taste in men. So proud, in fact, that she couldn't resist showing buck-naked pics of her studmuffin to two of the students who ride her school bus in Bear, DE.
The kids finally decided a month after viewing Dude's jewels to report it to the school and officials. So now Samantha is in big trouble and charged with endangering the welfare of a child.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Speaking of Nude Stuff
Naked News, the all-naked all-news telecast, is soon to be available on mobile phones! So now wives who used to be irritated by hubby listening to the game during school and family functions can be comforted in knowing that their menfolk are simply catching up on the day's news on their video phones.
Producer David Warge said: "Naked News is the most successful transition from internet to television ever. We have shown that we offer a unique programme that attracts a large and loyal audience.
"We are planning to produce programme segments geared to the current state of mobile technology in Europe, something that our target group considers important.
"We will start with news, sports, entertainment and possibly even weather reports. As soon as North America is ready, we will produce a similar programme for that market."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pork Jihad
Enraged that pigs at local pig farms had the audacity to be stinky, Muslims in Indonesia attacked numerous farms and brutally slaughtered about 20 little piggies.
"The farms give out a bad odor and this is offensive, especially during Ramadan," said local Muslim leader Abdul Haris.
So the Muslim Stink Police ran about with machetes and sticks and whapped the heads off a whole bunch of stinky unclean pigs, hopefully not getting any tainted blood on them as they did so.
Local police had no comment.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And here's a link with commentary from Chief MidAtlantic Correspondent Glenn McMillen:
"Notice the ad next to this one. One for a drink called "Solo". Funny in context.
Any takers on whether this woman will be killed by a terrorist before she gets married? (As from When Harry Met Sally)"
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/afp/australia_romance
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link of the Day: http://www.thetoiletonline.com/inventions/horsepants.htm
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PC Gone Amok
In Puyallup School District (Washington) it will be the Year Without a Halloween. See, the school district officials have decided that really, Halloween parties waste classroom time and some families can't afford costumes. And, perhaps most importantly, celebrating Halloween might offend real witches.
Schools have had complaints in the past from Wiccans in the area who are offended primarily by witches with pointy noses. "Witches with pointy noses are not respective symbols of the Wiccan religion" say district spokeswoman Karen Hansen. Any students who show up in a costume might be sent home.
Aside from the improper use of the word 'respective', I'm thinkin' Karen et al are idiots.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
More School Daze
Lurella Amica stopped off at her little girl's school in Macon, GA, to drop off a note to her 9 year old daughter. When she got there, kiddo told Lurella that her big meanie teacher Katrina Ann Rucker had thrown her backpack into the trash!
Lurella then tried to get the bag out of the trash, but Katrina didn't like that - no, not one bit! So Katrina grabbed it too. Katrina and Lurella fought over the bag and Lurella wrested it away. So Katrina (remember this is the teacher) picked up a chair and WHACK slammed the mom in the back, knocking her to the floor. Pummelling ensued!
All this in front of an entire classroom of 4th graders!
Kiddo was upset that her mom was being pummelled, and ran up to tell her teacher to stop hitting her mom - so Katrina hit the little girl, pulled her hair, shoved her out of the way and went back to battering mom.
"A school administrator and another teacher had to pull the teacher off the mother," Macon police spokeswoman Melanie Hofmann said.
Mom's in the hospital now, and Katrina is in jail. Katrina's excuse? "The teacher said she was defending herself because she gets a shot in that hand and it hurt."
"Let me assure you the school is safe and that our students have been involved in appropriate instructional activities throughout the day," was the information sent home that day from school.
Uh huh.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
News with Local Flavor:
Bear Bus Driver Shows Riders Bare Beau
Samantha Hall is proud of her taste in men. So proud, in fact, that she couldn't resist showing buck-naked pics of her studmuffin to two of the students who ride her school bus in Bear, DE.
The kids finally decided a month after viewing Dude's jewels to report it to the school and officials. So now Samantha is in big trouble and charged with endangering the welfare of a child.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Speaking of Nude Stuff
Naked News, the all-naked all-news telecast, is soon to be available on mobile phones! So now wives who used to be irritated by hubby listening to the game during school and family functions can be comforted in knowing that their menfolk are simply catching up on the day's news on their video phones.
Producer David Warge said: "Naked News is the most successful transition from internet to television ever. We have shown that we offer a unique programme that attracts a large and loyal audience.
"We are planning to produce programme segments geared to the current state of mobile technology in Europe, something that our target group considers important.
"We will start with news, sports, entertainment and possibly even weather reports. As soon as North America is ready, we will produce a similar programme for that market."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pork Jihad
Enraged that pigs at local pig farms had the audacity to be stinky, Muslims in Indonesia attacked numerous farms and brutally slaughtered about 20 little piggies.
"The farms give out a bad odor and this is offensive, especially during Ramadan," said local Muslim leader Abdul Haris.
So the Muslim Stink Police ran about with machetes and sticks and whapped the heads off a whole bunch of stinky unclean pigs, hopefully not getting any tainted blood on them as they did so.
Local police had no comment.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And here's a link with commentary from Chief MidAtlantic Correspondent Glenn McMillen:
"Notice the ad next to this one. One for a drink called "Solo". Funny in context.
Any takers on whether this woman will be killed by a terrorist before she gets married? (As from When Harry Met Sally)"
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/afp/australia_romance
