Wednesday, November 24, 2004
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Link of the Day: Fun stuff for when your coworker is away... http://www.verifine.org/stuff/co-worker.html
Alternate Link of the Day: Yiddish Dick N Jane: Schlep, Jane, Schlep! http://www.vidlit.com/yidlit/yidlit.html
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A new twist on the Scarlet Letter
Four Northern California guys suspected another dude of stealing a pound of marijuana from them. So they did what any good drug dealing network would do. They called the dude, had him come over to the house, then bound him with duct tape and tattooed the word 'Thief' in 2 inch high letters on his forehead.
They've now been arrested and are facing charges of kidnapping, false imprisonment, conspiracy and mayhem.
Amok amok amok amok
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Lost: Baby Jesus statue
Last seen: nativity scene in front of South Australian Brewing Company, Adelaide, Australia
Personal plea from Brewing Company: "We are very concerned about the well-being of baby Jesus and we are calling for his swift and safe return."
REWARD: 6 cases of SABC beer and freedom from eternal damnation for kidnapping Jesus
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Misdiagnosis
The wife of an 87 year old man called the doctor to their home in Riga, Latvia, because she feared her husband had died. The doc, pressed for time, agreed that he had passed away and declared the cause of death to be 'old age'.
The body was taken to the funeral parlor to be prepped for burial, whereupon the cause of death was modified slightly: old age aggravated by 45 stab wounds.
The cops are now viewing it as a murder, and investigating the old folks' neighbor. The doc might want to work a little harder at his powers of observation.
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Just Plain Gross
Kura Tumanako from Hastings, NZ, wants her child to know the joy of growing up with a dog by her side. What better way than to breast feed the Staffordshire bull terrior, eh?
Kura states that when she weaned her baby off breast milk after 2 months of nursing, she " didn't want to waste it so I gave it to Honey Boy." The baby is now taking milk from a bottle as this bizarre woman breastfeeds the dog.
"I wanted to raise the pup with my baby," Kura said. "I wanted to bring it up with a baby. It will protect her as they grow up."
Kura is preggers again, and likely trolling the pet shops for another new member of the family. She says she doesn't care what people think about her nursing a bull terrior.
"It's my life, my responsibility. I make my own choices," she said.
That you do, Kura, that you do.
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Grumpyville
Grumpy Austrians from Mauthausen are sick and tired of their cops being friendly. Outraged grinches from around the town have repeatedly complained about their happy go lucky police force which has the offensive habit of saying things like "Evening all" when walking by.
"I find this behaviour outrageous, and totally out of keeping from what one would expect from an officer of the law," said one nasty inhabitant. Another declared that perhaps the police should be 'out catching criminals rather than wasting time greeting locals'.
As a result, there is now a ban on friendly cops in Mauthausen. A spokesman for the police, with a frown in his voice, states: "Obviously being friendly is not something the citizens of Austria want from their policemen."
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Make Your Own VM Grilled Cheese!
Christopher Curry saw opportunity and went for it. The LA native, intrigued by the mass appeal of that decade-old holy grilled cheese sammich I told you about yesterday, quickly put up his own offering on eBay: the Blessed Grilled Cheese Virgin Mary Creation Kit.
The kit comes with * a statue of Mary, * a toaster, * 2 bottles of holy water * and instructions for toasting Mary's image on the "sacri-licious" sandwich.
Opening bid before eBay got testy was $3500.00
eBay's excuse for deleting the auction: Chris was selling food, an eBay no-no.
But it was food for the soul, man!
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Link of the Day: Fun stuff for when your coworker is away... http://www.verifine.org/stuff/co-worker.html
Alternate Link of the Day: Yiddish Dick N Jane: Schlep, Jane, Schlep! http://www.vidlit.com/yidlit/yidlit.html
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
A new twist on the Scarlet Letter
Four Northern California guys suspected another dude of stealing a pound of marijuana from them. So they did what any good drug dealing network would do. They called the dude, had him come over to the house, then bound him with duct tape and tattooed the word 'Thief' in 2 inch high letters on his forehead.
They've now been arrested and are facing charges of kidnapping, false imprisonment, conspiracy and mayhem.
Amok amok amok amok
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Lost: Baby Jesus statue
Last seen: nativity scene in front of South Australian Brewing Company, Adelaide, Australia
Personal plea from Brewing Company: "We are very concerned about the well-being of baby Jesus and we are calling for his swift and safe return."
REWARD: 6 cases of SABC beer and freedom from eternal damnation for kidnapping Jesus
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Misdiagnosis
The wife of an 87 year old man called the doctor to their home in Riga, Latvia, because she feared her husband had died. The doc, pressed for time, agreed that he had passed away and declared the cause of death to be 'old age'.
The body was taken to the funeral parlor to be prepped for burial, whereupon the cause of death was modified slightly: old age aggravated by 45 stab wounds.
The cops are now viewing it as a murder, and investigating the old folks' neighbor. The doc might want to work a little harder at his powers of observation.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Just Plain Gross
Kura Tumanako from Hastings, NZ, wants her child to know the joy of growing up with a dog by her side. What better way than to breast feed the Staffordshire bull terrior, eh?
Kura states that when she weaned her baby off breast milk after 2 months of nursing, she " didn't want to waste it so I gave it to Honey Boy." The baby is now taking milk from a bottle as this bizarre woman breastfeeds the dog.
"I wanted to raise the pup with my baby," Kura said. "I wanted to bring it up with a baby. It will protect her as they grow up."
Kura is preggers again, and likely trolling the pet shops for another new member of the family. She says she doesn't care what people think about her nursing a bull terrior.
"It's my life, my responsibility. I make my own choices," she said.
That you do, Kura, that you do.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Grumpyville
Grumpy Austrians from Mauthausen are sick and tired of their cops being friendly. Outraged grinches from around the town have repeatedly complained about their happy go lucky police force which has the offensive habit of saying things like "Evening all" when walking by.
"I find this behaviour outrageous, and totally out of keeping from what one would expect from an officer of the law," said one nasty inhabitant. Another declared that perhaps the police should be 'out catching criminals rather than wasting time greeting locals'.
As a result, there is now a ban on friendly cops in Mauthausen. A spokesman for the police, with a frown in his voice, states: "Obviously being friendly is not something the citizens of Austria want from their policemen."
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Make Your Own VM Grilled Cheese!
Christopher Curry saw opportunity and went for it. The LA native, intrigued by the mass appeal of that decade-old holy grilled cheese sammich I told you about yesterday, quickly put up his own offering on eBay: the Blessed Grilled Cheese Virgin Mary Creation Kit.
The kit comes with * a statue of Mary, * a toaster, * 2 bottles of holy water * and instructions for toasting Mary's image on the "sacri-licious" sandwich.
Opening bid before eBay got testy was $3500.00
eBay's excuse for deleting the auction: Chris was selling food, an eBay no-no.
But it was food for the soul, man!
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