Thursday, November 18, 2004
Today in History: Nov 18, 1978 - The worst case of murder-suicide in history took place in Jonestown, Guyana. Religious-cult leader Jim Jones (Peoples Temple) directed the ingestion of Kool-Aid (laced with cyanide) by at least 900 of his followers. He and his mistress then followed suit. Earlier in the day, Jones had directed the murder of California Congressman Leo J. Ryan, three newspeople and several ‘defectors’.
More importantly, on Nov 18, 1989 Blame It on the Rain, by Milli Vanilli was the big chart topper. Whoo hoo
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Link of the Day: Fun stuff for when your coworker is away... http://www.verifine.org/stuff/co-worker.html
Alternate Link of the Day: Yiddish Dick N Jane: Schlep, Jane, Schlep! http://www.vidlit.com/yidlit/yidlit.html
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
A new twist on the Scarlet Letter
Four Northern California guys suspected another dude of stealing a pound of marijuana from them. So they did what any good drug dealing network would do. They called the dude, had him come over to the house, then bound him with duct tape and tattooed the word 'Thief' in 2 inch high letters on his forehead.
They've now been arrested and are facing charges of kidnapping, false imprisonment, conspiracy and mayhem.
Amok amok amok amok
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Lost: Baby Jesus statue Last seen: nativity scene in front of South Australian Brewing Company, Adelaide, Australia
Personal plea from Brewing Company: "We are very concerned about the well-being of baby Jesus and we are calling for his swift and safe return."
REWARD: 6 cases of SABC beer and freedom from eternal damnation for kidnapping Jesus
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Misdiagnosis
The wife of an 87 year old man called the doctor to their home in Riga, Latvia, because she feared her husband had died. The doc, pressed for time, agreed that he had passed away and declared the cause of death to be 'old age'.
The body was taken to the funeral parlor to be prepped for burial, whereupon the cause of death was modified slightly: old age aggravated by 45 stab wounds.
The cops are now viewing it as a murder, and investigating the old folks' neighbor. The doc might want to work a little harder at his powers of observation.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Just Plain Gross
Kura Tumanako from Hastings, NZ, wants her child to know the joy of growing up with a dog by her side. What better way than to breast feed the Staffordshire bull terrior, eh?
Kura states that when she weaned her baby off breast milk after 2 months of nursing, she " didn't want to waste it so I gave it to Honey Boy." The baby is now taking milk from a bottle as this bizarre woman breastfeeds the dog.
"I wanted to raise the pup with my baby," Kura said. "I wanted to bring it up with a baby. It will protect her as they grow up."
Kura is preggers again, and likely trolling the pet shops for another new member of the family. She says she doesn't care what people think about her nursing a bull terrior.
"It's my life, my responsibility. I make my own choices," she said.
That you do, Kura, that you do.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Grumpyville
Grumpy Austrians from Mauthausen are sick and tired of their cops being friendly. Outraged grinches from around the town have repeatedly complained about their happy go lucky police force which has the offensive habit of saying things like "Evening all" when walking by.
"I find this behaviour outrageous, and totally out of keeping from what one would expect from an officer of the law," said one nasty inhabitant. Another declared that perhaps the police should be 'out catching criminals rather than wasting time greeting locals'.
As a result, there is now a ban on friendly cops in Mauthausen. A spokesman for the police, with a frown in his voice, states: "Obviously being friendly is not something the citizens of Austria want from their policemen."
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Make Your Own VM Grilled Cheese!
Christopher Curry saw opportunity and went for it. The LA native, intrigued by the mass appeal of that decade-old holy grilled cheese sammich I told you about yesterday, quickly put up his own offering on eBay: the Blessed Grilled Cheese Virgin Mary Creation Kit.
The kit comes with * a statue of Mary, * a toaster, * 2 bottles of holy water * and instructions for toasting Mary's image on the "sacri-licious" sandwich.
Opening bid before eBay got testy was $3500.00
eBay's excuse for deleting the auction: Chris was selling food, an eBay no-no.
But it was food for the soul, man!
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
More importantly, on Nov 18, 1989 Blame It on the Rain, by Milli Vanilli was the big chart topper. Whoo hoo
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Link of the Day: Fun stuff for when your coworker is away... http://www.verifine.org/stuff/co-worker.html
Alternate Link of the Day: Yiddish Dick N Jane: Schlep, Jane, Schlep! http://www.vidlit.com/yidlit/yidlit.html
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
A new twist on the Scarlet Letter
Four Northern California guys suspected another dude of stealing a pound of marijuana from them. So they did what any good drug dealing network would do. They called the dude, had him come over to the house, then bound him with duct tape and tattooed the word 'Thief' in 2 inch high letters on his forehead.
They've now been arrested and are facing charges of kidnapping, false imprisonment, conspiracy and mayhem.
Amok amok amok amok
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Lost: Baby Jesus statue Last seen: nativity scene in front of South Australian Brewing Company, Adelaide, Australia
Personal plea from Brewing Company: "We are very concerned about the well-being of baby Jesus and we are calling for his swift and safe return."
REWARD: 6 cases of SABC beer and freedom from eternal damnation for kidnapping Jesus
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Misdiagnosis
The wife of an 87 year old man called the doctor to their home in Riga, Latvia, because she feared her husband had died. The doc, pressed for time, agreed that he had passed away and declared the cause of death to be 'old age'.
The body was taken to the funeral parlor to be prepped for burial, whereupon the cause of death was modified slightly: old age aggravated by 45 stab wounds.
The cops are now viewing it as a murder, and investigating the old folks' neighbor. The doc might want to work a little harder at his powers of observation.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Just Plain Gross
Kura Tumanako from Hastings, NZ, wants her child to know the joy of growing up with a dog by her side. What better way than to breast feed the Staffordshire bull terrior, eh?
Kura states that when she weaned her baby off breast milk after 2 months of nursing, she " didn't want to waste it so I gave it to Honey Boy." The baby is now taking milk from a bottle as this bizarre woman breastfeeds the dog.
"I wanted to raise the pup with my baby," Kura said. "I wanted to bring it up with a baby. It will protect her as they grow up."
Kura is preggers again, and likely trolling the pet shops for another new member of the family. She says she doesn't care what people think about her nursing a bull terrior.
"It's my life, my responsibility. I make my own choices," she said.
That you do, Kura, that you do.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Grumpyville
Grumpy Austrians from Mauthausen are sick and tired of their cops being friendly. Outraged grinches from around the town have repeatedly complained about their happy go lucky police force which has the offensive habit of saying things like "Evening all" when walking by.
"I find this behaviour outrageous, and totally out of keeping from what one would expect from an officer of the law," said one nasty inhabitant. Another declared that perhaps the police should be 'out catching criminals rather than wasting time greeting locals'.
As a result, there is now a ban on friendly cops in Mauthausen. A spokesman for the police, with a frown in his voice, states: "Obviously being friendly is not something the citizens of Austria want from their policemen."
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Make Your Own VM Grilled Cheese!
Christopher Curry saw opportunity and went for it. The LA native, intrigued by the mass appeal of that decade-old holy grilled cheese sammich I told you about yesterday, quickly put up his own offering on eBay: the Blessed Grilled Cheese Virgin Mary Creation Kit.
The kit comes with * a statue of Mary, * a toaster, * 2 bottles of holy water * and instructions for toasting Mary's image on the "sacri-licious" sandwich.
Opening bid before eBay got testy was $3500.00
eBay's excuse for deleting the auction: Chris was selling food, an eBay no-no.
But it was food for the soul, man!
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Link of the Day: http://smashmyphone.com/ Unforgiving technicians will crush your useless cellphone into small pieces.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Leaf Rage
Stamford, CT, resident Michael Peters is angry. He has lived at his home for over 30 years and not once, not ONCE, have the town workers cleared up his leaves. But they clear everyone else's. And, after those thirty years, Michael has finally snapped.
According to city worker Robert Gerbert, Monday was the day that Mikey became "a raving maniac" when the leave cleanup crew again refused to take his leaves. (Mike's leaves are not on the street where the workers collect them, they are on a side strip considered to be Mike's personal right of way.)
"He grabbed my jacket and said, 'You're not going anywhere,'" Gerbert said. "The guy was spitting and swearing it was the most disgusting scene I've ever seen."
Cops were called, charges were pressed, and Mike gets to go to court Dec 1.
Immediately after Mike got out of jail on bail, he went home and called the city to complain that the leaves still weren't picked up.
I guess Highway Supervisor Michael Zarba put it best when he said, "People get very emotional about leaves."
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Stale News?
eBay has taken pity on the plight of Diana Duyser and allowed her to put her 10 year old holy sandwich back up for bids. Earlier in the week, Diana put up her decade-old grilled cheese sandwich at the internet auction site advertising it has having an image of the Virgin Mary on it. eBay foolishly thought she was joking, and took the item down.
Diana wouldn't take no for an answer. She convinced eBay Inc that she was serious. 10 years ago she was making a grilled cheese sandwich. She took a bite, then noticed Mary right there in the bread staring at her! And the rest is history.
As anyone else in the same situation would do, she stopped eating and placed the sandwich in a plastic box along with some soft cotton balls and set it on her bedside table. It has never sprouted a single spore of mold.
eBay representatives state: ``After looking at it a second time, there's nothing to indicate that the seller isn't willing to give up this cheese sandwich to the highest bidder. We're going to allow it to stay up.''
At the time of this writing, the current bid is US $99,000,099.00 .
You may view the wonderment yourself by going to www.ebay.com and entering the number 5535890757 in the What Are You Looking For? slot in the Search engine.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Well This Sounds Fun
The folks of Dhami, northern India, really know how to throw a party. They have a 100 year old celebration of sorts called Sati Pradha Mela, where they divide into two groups and then pelt each other with stones.
The group that has the least number of injured people wins. Wins what? The knowledge that they done throwed more rocks more betterer.
This year, the throwfest went on for more than an hour with 'extremely enthusiastic' participants, and hundreds of people ended up being taken to the hospital for treatment of their wounds when the makeshift medical units at the event couldn't treat the bloody fools.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
From Southern Correspondent Rick Sawyer...
Fish Are People Too
Holy crap they're at it again. Not satisfied with defending the rights of naked mole rats and such, PETA has moved into the realm of Saving the Sushi. Declaring that fish are sensitive loving animals, PETA has developed a new little pocket of simps: the Fish Empathy Project.
"Fish are so misunderstood because they're so far removed from our daily lives," said Karin Robertson, 24, the Empathy Project manager and daughter of an Indiana fisheries biologist. "They're such interesting, fascinating individuals, yet they're so incredibly abused."
A recommendation from Karin and her ilk: Hey Mr Trawler, please stun the fishies before you slit them open and slice them into tiny bits. PETA is attempting to have Fish Welfare rules enforced to cut down on the horrors of fishdom. Cruelty to fishies. Bad, scary stuff.
PETA will be showing up at a seafood restaurant near you starting next month, to let you know that the fish you eat are dead and sad.
There is no word yet as to when the People for the Ethical Treatment of Plantlife will be established, but don't you worry -- I'm sure it's coming soon.
Link of the Day: http://smashmyphone.com/ Unforgiving technicians will crush your useless cellphone into small pieces.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Leaf Rage
Stamford, CT, resident Michael Peters is angry. He has lived at his home for over 30 years and not once, not ONCE, have the town workers cleared up his leaves. But they clear everyone else's. And, after those thirty years, Michael has finally snapped.
According to city worker Robert Gerbert, Monday was the day that Mikey became "a raving maniac" when the leave cleanup crew again refused to take his leaves. (Mike's leaves are not on the street where the workers collect them, they are on a side strip considered to be Mike's personal right of way.)
"He grabbed my jacket and said, 'You're not going anywhere,'" Gerbert said. "The guy was spitting and swearing it was the most disgusting scene I've ever seen."
Cops were called, charges were pressed, and Mike gets to go to court Dec 1.
Immediately after Mike got out of jail on bail, he went home and called the city to complain that the leaves still weren't picked up.
I guess Highway Supervisor Michael Zarba put it best when he said, "People get very emotional about leaves."
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Stale News?
eBay has taken pity on the plight of Diana Duyser and allowed her to put her 10 year old holy sandwich back up for bids. Earlier in the week, Diana put up her decade-old grilled cheese sandwich at the internet auction site advertising it has having an image of the Virgin Mary on it. eBay foolishly thought she was joking, and took the item down.
Diana wouldn't take no for an answer. She convinced eBay Inc that she was serious. 10 years ago she was making a grilled cheese sandwich. She took a bite, then noticed Mary right there in the bread staring at her! And the rest is history.
As anyone else in the same situation would do, she stopped eating and placed the sandwich in a plastic box along with some soft cotton balls and set it on her bedside table. It has never sprouted a single spore of mold.
eBay representatives state: ``After looking at it a second time, there's nothing to indicate that the seller isn't willing to give up this cheese sandwich to the highest bidder. We're going to allow it to stay up.''
At the time of this writing, the current bid is US $99,000,099.00 .
You may view the wonderment yourself by going to www.ebay.com and entering the number 5535890757 in the What Are You Looking For? slot in the Search engine.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Well This Sounds Fun
The folks of Dhami, northern India, really know how to throw a party. They have a 100 year old celebration of sorts called Sati Pradha Mela, where they divide into two groups and then pelt each other with stones.
The group that has the least number of injured people wins. Wins what? The knowledge that they done throwed more rocks more betterer.
This year, the throwfest went on for more than an hour with 'extremely enthusiastic' participants, and hundreds of people ended up being taken to the hospital for treatment of their wounds when the makeshift medical units at the event couldn't treat the bloody fools.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
From Southern Correspondent Rick Sawyer...
Fish Are People Too
Holy crap they're at it again. Not satisfied with defending the rights of naked mole rats and such, PETA has moved into the realm of Saving the Sushi. Declaring that fish are sensitive loving animals, PETA has developed a new little pocket of simps: the Fish Empathy Project.
"Fish are so misunderstood because they're so far removed from our daily lives," said Karin Robertson, 24, the Empathy Project manager and daughter of an Indiana fisheries biologist. "They're such interesting, fascinating individuals, yet they're so incredibly abused."
A recommendation from Karin and her ilk: Hey Mr Trawler, please stun the fishies before you slit them open and slice them into tiny bits. PETA is attempting to have Fish Welfare rules enforced to cut down on the horrors of fishdom. Cruelty to fishies. Bad, scary stuff.
PETA will be showing up at a seafood restaurant near you starting next month, to let you know that the fish you eat are dead and sad.
There is no word yet as to when the People for the Ethical Treatment of Plantlife will be established, but don't you worry -- I'm sure it's coming soon.
