Friday, October 29, 2004
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Today in History: October 28, 4004 BC God creates Adam and Eve five days after the rest of the universe, according to Biblical calculations by Archbishop James Ussher.
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Link of the day: Tired of the whole 'tinyurl' thing? Why not make a huge url? It really works, try it out. Get your own huge url at http://hugeurl.com/ .
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More Marital Bliss
William Dahlby of LaCrosse, Wis, swears he was trying to save his marriage after having an affair. His method? Throwing a live electrical wire into the tub while his wife was soaking.
She says that she tried to jump out when she saw him dropping the live wire into the water, and that he then tried to push her back in.
He says that he had rigged it to only allow a little charge and then to have the electricity cut when a ground fault interrupter sensed water.
Surprisingly, the judge and jury didn't buy his story and he has been convicted of attempted 1st degree murder.
Go figure.
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So a Cop, a Robber, and an Elephant Walk into a Bar...
Police in Assam India are requesting that folks contribute cop jokes to their website ( http://mail.yahoo.com/config/login?/file://www.assampolice.com ) in an attempt to improve their image. They're trying to get people to understand that "The police too have a lighter side. There are plenty of jokes, anecdotes and pleasant encounters with humour..."
So, uh, feel free to contribute and make Assam a more jocular town in which to be arrested.
Apologies for the sporadic nature of my somewhat daily missive. The dreaded w*rk thing has been encroaching upon my time and draining my every brain cell such that my evenings are spent drooling in the corner, rather than surfing the web looking for important information to share. I will aspire to do better in the coming month. Additionally, I am fully aware of the relatively low quality of today's missive. I just couldn't take any more cruel emails from you folks…so here's your damned missive!
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Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Today in History: October 25 1938 The Archbishop of Dubuque, the Most Reverend Francis J.L. Beckman, denounces the newfangled Swing music -- the latest craze -- as nothing more than "a degenerated musical system... turned loose to gnaw away the moral fiber of young people." Its cannibalistic rhythms are said to lead one down "primrose path to Hell." --dailyrotten
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This is just odd. http://www.rustfetish.com/
Oh! This guy Bill has figured out the meaning of life. As stated on Bill's website, "All of the material in "Soon You Will Understand... The Meaning of Life" came to him in a sudden flash of insight. "
If you want a headache, hop to his site: http://www.themeaningoflife.org/0Introduction.htm
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Bush, Kerry, both Boners
Ralph Nader says you should vote for him, because the other two front runners are both Boners. And he has no Boners in his history. Really - it's been confirmed - both Bush and Kerry joined the secret society Skull and Bones back in the 60's when they were at Yale, and that is baaaaaaaaaad news.
Background on the secret society is, well, secret - but word is that the few chosen to join the gang do spooky ceremonies and talk about sex and stuff in a windowless building known as the Tomb. Then they are sent out to the world with one and only one mission: "get its members into positions of power and then to have those members hire other members. It's a society of connections," according to Alexandra Robbins (who wrote a big old book about the group).
It's all about getting members in the correct positions and carrying on, see.
Bush's dad and grandfather were both Boners, and he has got a lot of Boners working for him. Kerry has fewer visible Boners in his history, but that's not to say that if he gets in office he won't have Boners a-plenty.
Kerry was asked what it meant that both he and Bush were members of Skull n Bones. He said, "Not much, because it's a secret."
D'oh!
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Rabble Rousing Monks!
You would think that Monks would make good neighbors, what with their peaceful meditation and tilling the fields and such. Not so in Ratchaburi, near Bangkok. The monks there were so darned rowdy, in fact, that finally the villagers complained to the police about their drinking and drugging.
Cops showed up, and busted 5 of the monks for amphetamine use (they were doing 'yaa baa' - translated 'crazy drug') and one other robed dude for public drunkenness.
"Villagers are fed up with the monks at this temple as they always make loud noise when they drink and take pills," according to a police spokesman.
The monks have now become demonkified.
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Top of the Christmas List in Britain *urp*
Britain has named the best toy of 2004: Robosapien.
This wonderful robot farts, burps, wolf whistles and grunts like a caveman. Children selected it as the coolest toy after an exhausting 3 month testing time frame.
You can invite Robosapien to live at your home for a mere $99 bucks or so through the Sharper Image. Order it here! http://tinyurl.com/4v7qe
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