Daily Drivel

Today in History: August 4 Aug 3 1996
An angry God makes "Macarena" by Los Del Rio #1 on the pop charts. The accompanying dancing disease afflicts millions before final eradication.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Link of the Day: http://www.stephaniemiller.com/declarationofrevocation.htm Britain representative has revoked US independence. Here's the declaration of revocation.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Proof reader in Big Trouble

The Lawrence Journal-World (Kansas) printed a classified ad indicating that all things at 1319 Tennessee St, Apt 3, would be thrown away if left unclaimed, so members of the community had a free-for-all picking the apartment clean. Items taken (free of charge of course) included (among other things) a TV, furniture, DVD player, Cd player, and even a kitten!

Bummer they printed the wrong address. Kris Bryan, who lives at 1319 Tennessee, #3, is less than happy with the newspaper. She was able to stop pillagers who were still ransacking her home when she returned from work, but those who were there earlier: nope, all gone.

By the way, 1339 Tennessee Street, #3, is still offering a free give away of all of the apartment contents.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

No Spooning for You

Some guys just like a wham bam thank you maam approach and then to get back to living. Some guys like to cuddle afterwards. Christopher Offord is the former, as his now-deceased wife learned last year.
Seems Chris and Dana had finished having some intimate moments and she wanted to cuddle up. Chris wanted to watch sports on TV instead. So he did what any rational individual would do: grabbed a claw hammer and slammed it into her about 70 times till she died.
He later confessed his crime at...where else...a sports bar.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Man lost job for being 'dead'

Valentin Lefter, 20, returned from vacation last month to find a letter from his employer addressed to his wife. The letter offered sincere condolences on his passing and said that any back pay would be sent to her forthwith. Val was surprised to learn he had died, and called up his boss. His boss researched and came back with the following excuse: oops - computer error.
But Val can't come back to work.
His company, Prodecam Vanatori (romania) already replaced him when he died, so he is no longer needed.

Ain't THAT a kick in the head?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Vienna police are on the lookout for an armed thief.
They have published their description of said thief:
--- Mid 20's or early 30's
--- German accent
--- HUGE nose

If you've seen him, call the cops, eh?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

From Harold No Punny Middle Name Friedline:

Teddy Akin of Ocala FL was tired of being married. His divorce proceedings had stagnated, and he really just wanted his soon-to-be-ex to finish it off for him. So when she asked him about some guy's wallet that he was carrying, he made up a bit of a story. He told Felicia (his wife) that in fact he had kind of sort of not really picked up a hitch hiker and killed him, but kept his wallet.

I guess Ted thought that F'li would just kind of say 'ick' and leave. Instead she took the unprecedented step of calling the cops and telling them!

Well, Teddy had to keep the story going, so he told the sheriff's dept that after killing the guy, he dumped the body in a forest near a gun range. The cops went out
on a huge search with dogs and all for about 7 hours Monday.

Finally, when the search turned up nothing, Teddy confided in the cops that he was really just hoping that the murder story would make F'li leave him and that it had snowballed. He had actually found the wallet in a bathroom, and didn't even know the guy.

Cops called the dude, returned the wallet, and are prepping up charges and a bill for Ted's tall tale and the expense of the ensuing search.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++