Friday, April 09, 2004
Today in History: April 9, 1992: pocky faced Manuel Noriega is convicted of eight crimes. One of which was keeping his employees chained to their desks on beautiful Friday afternoons.
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A New Way to Get Out of a Date: Pretend You're a Terrorist
A 28 year old Croatian woman didn't want to go on vacation with her boyfriend because her mom and dad didn't like him and wouldn't approve of her going off with him. So she opted to do something that would make mom and dad MUCH more proud of her.
And called the airport they were to fly from with a bomb threat, saying she was an Al Qaeda terrorist. The airport was shut down for many hours and over 60k people were stranded while the cops looked for the bomb.
The silly woman is now facing claims from the airport and various airlines seeking damages exceeding $2million.
BUT she didn't have to go on vacation with the guy, and that's all that really counts.
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Busted! Nooner Mishap
A couple of workers at Lester B Pearson Intl Airport in Canada met up for a nooner the other day, but got more than they bargained for. Seems the construction worker and security guard got to canoodling and much to their embarrassment accidentally locked themselves in the holding cell they were using as their Lovatorium. They had to wait a number of hours even after being discovered by a search crew, as not just ANYBODY gets to have keys to a security holding cell. Only mature and responsible people would...never mind...
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Boar'd dot com
There is a website out there run by a German hunting association that has live webcam footage of a family of wild boar 24hours a day. The family is made up of 3 boys: Kalle, Oskar, and Willy, and three girls: Luise, Berta, and Sophie, as well as their offspring. What's impressive is that in just 2 weeks it has already gotten 1.5 million hits! By clicking on the link you can see them laying around, walking around, sitting around or any of their other tittilating tricks. Bump the website stats up and visit: www.wildtiere-live.de
It'll make you appreciate your life so much more.
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A New Way to Get Out of a Date: Pretend You're a Terrorist
A 28 year old Croatian woman didn't want to go on vacation with her boyfriend because her mom and dad didn't like him and wouldn't approve of her going off with him. So she opted to do something that would make mom and dad MUCH more proud of her.
And called the airport they were to fly from with a bomb threat, saying she was an Al Qaeda terrorist. The airport was shut down for many hours and over 60k people were stranded while the cops looked for the bomb.
The silly woman is now facing claims from the airport and various airlines seeking damages exceeding $2million.
BUT she didn't have to go on vacation with the guy, and that's all that really counts.
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Busted! Nooner Mishap
A couple of workers at Lester B Pearson Intl Airport in Canada met up for a nooner the other day, but got more than they bargained for. Seems the construction worker and security guard got to canoodling and much to their embarrassment accidentally locked themselves in the holding cell they were using as their Lovatorium. They had to wait a number of hours even after being discovered by a search crew, as not just ANYBODY gets to have keys to a security holding cell. Only mature and responsible people would...never mind...
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Boar'd dot com
There is a website out there run by a German hunting association that has live webcam footage of a family of wild boar 24hours a day. The family is made up of 3 boys: Kalle, Oskar, and Willy, and three girls: Luise, Berta, and Sophie, as well as their offspring. What's impressive is that in just 2 weeks it has already gotten 1.5 million hits! By clicking on the link you can see them laying around, walking around, sitting around or any of their other tittilating tricks. Bump the website stats up and visit: www.wildtiere-live.de
It'll make you appreciate your life so much more.
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Thursday, April 08, 2004
It's Not Me, It's Everyone Else That's Whacked!
Seems that the "I'm right, everyone else in the world is crazy" mindset has gone international.
An 86 year old geezer in Bern, Switzerland, got miffed when everybody else was driving the wrong direction down the one-way road A6. He flashed his lights at a number of them to no avail. So when he saw some cops driving the wrong direction he flagged them down to complain.
The police kindly drove him home the correct way, and are now trying to decide if they should take away his license. My vote is yes.
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Seems that the "I'm right, everyone else in the world is crazy" mindset has gone international.
An 86 year old geezer in Bern, Switzerland, got miffed when everybody else was driving the wrong direction down the one-way road A6. He flashed his lights at a number of them to no avail. So when he saw some cops driving the wrong direction he flagged them down to complain.
The police kindly drove him home the correct way, and are now trying to decide if they should take away his license. My vote is yes.
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Today in History, April 8, 1987 - Los Angeles Dodgers manager Al Campanis resigned over moronic remarks he had made while on ABC's "Nightline". Campanis said that blacks "may not have some of the necessities" (translated: mental capacity) to hold managerial jobs in major-league baseball.
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What a Kick!
Chad Crawford, from Nashville TN, lived many an american dream and now he is paying the price. Chad and his buddies apparently had had enough of tiny 2lb miniature terrier Gizmo yipping about in his neighbor's yard. So after his buddy held the dog in place, he place kicked the little snickerdoodle up up up into the sky. Gizmo had a high quality arc, then slammed to the pavement and rolled under a car. (I hate when that happens).
Shockingly, the impact of foot-to-dog combined with the thudding did in fact kill little Gizmo, and now Chad is charged with cruelty to animals and felony vandalism. Should he be convicted of aggravated animal cruelty, he could be forced to receive mental evaluation. ``There is an obvious question about the mental makeup of someone who would do a thing like this to a tiny animal,'' said Judy Ladebauche, Metro Animal Control Director.
Nuff said. Tee hee.
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The Passion of the Bunny
Glassport Assembly of God in Pittsburgh put on a cute little Easter show for their families, publicized as being "for all ages". So moms and dads packed up the happy kiddos to see the show and were somewhat surprised when the actors on stage declared "There is no Easter Bunny" and began whipping the fuzzy one and smashing eggs that were meant for an Easter egg hunt later in the day.
A mom at the show, Melissa Salzmann, was quoted as saying her son was very upset: “He was crying and asking me why the bunny was being whipped."
There were also some fun parts with a self-mutilating woman and a drunken man involved...all of which showed, according to the cast, that Easter is about Christ.
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What a Kick!
Chad Crawford, from Nashville TN, lived many an american dream and now he is paying the price. Chad and his buddies apparently had had enough of tiny 2lb miniature terrier Gizmo yipping about in his neighbor's yard. So after his buddy held the dog in place, he place kicked the little snickerdoodle up up up into the sky. Gizmo had a high quality arc, then slammed to the pavement and rolled under a car. (I hate when that happens).
Shockingly, the impact of foot-to-dog combined with the thudding did in fact kill little Gizmo, and now Chad is charged with cruelty to animals and felony vandalism. Should he be convicted of aggravated animal cruelty, he could be forced to receive mental evaluation. ``There is an obvious question about the mental makeup of someone who would do a thing like this to a tiny animal,'' said Judy Ladebauche, Metro Animal Control Director.
Nuff said. Tee hee.
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The Passion of the Bunny
Glassport Assembly of God in Pittsburgh put on a cute little Easter show for their families, publicized as being "for all ages". So moms and dads packed up the happy kiddos to see the show and were somewhat surprised when the actors on stage declared "There is no Easter Bunny" and began whipping the fuzzy one and smashing eggs that were meant for an Easter egg hunt later in the day.
A mom at the show, Melissa Salzmann, was quoted as saying her son was very upset: “He was crying and asking me why the bunny was being whipped."
There were also some fun parts with a self-mutilating woman and a drunken man involved...all of which showed, according to the cast, that Easter is about Christ.
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Wednesday, April 07, 2004
From chief MidAtlantic Correspondent Glenn McMillen...
No Shah Shah! Precocious 2 year old achieving American Dream
Who says labor laws are enforced in America? Formosa Gardens restaurant in New Iberia, LA, has their cash register operated by a toddler!
Little Gordon Tan runs the credit card machine, handles the cash, providing correct change, and tallies the tickets into the register. All while propped on top of a tall chair.
When his employers (also, ironically, his parents) let him off of the chair, the two task-masters have him running about the restaurant counting customers, seating them, and letting mom and dad know when they are out of Shah, or Shrimp.
When they run out of shrimp — "shah shah" in Chinese — Gordon runs into the kitchen and yells, "No shah shah!"
When Gordon's folks try to correct him at the register, he firmly tells them to leave him alone. And next year they won't have him to bully around anymore, 'cause he'll be starting daycare.
No Shah Shah! Precocious 2 year old achieving American Dream
Who says labor laws are enforced in America? Formosa Gardens restaurant in New Iberia, LA, has their cash register operated by a toddler!
Little Gordon Tan runs the credit card machine, handles the cash, providing correct change, and tallies the tickets into the register. All while propped on top of a tall chair.
When his employers (also, ironically, his parents) let him off of the chair, the two task-masters have him running about the restaurant counting customers, seating them, and letting mom and dad know when they are out of Shah, or Shrimp.
When they run out of shrimp — "shah shah" in Chinese — Gordon runs into the kitchen and yells, "No shah shah!"
When Gordon's folks try to correct him at the register, he firmly tells them to leave him alone. And next year they won't have him to bully around anymore, 'cause he'll be starting daycare.
Chop Chop Pluck Pluck
Andre L Thomas was in a county jail cell in Sherman TX Friday night, after being arrested for allegedly murdering his 4 year old son, his estranged wife, and her 1 year old daughter & then cutting out their hearts.
While in the jail, he ripped his own eye out of its socket with his hands, and then quoted the Bible:
"And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell."
He was taken to the hospital, as was the eye, but it couldn't be popped back in its place. He's now up to be evaluated by a mental health professional, as he may have some mental issues. Ya think?
Andre L Thomas was in a county jail cell in Sherman TX Friday night, after being arrested for allegedly murdering his 4 year old son, his estranged wife, and her 1 year old daughter & then cutting out their hearts.
While in the jail, he ripped his own eye out of its socket with his hands, and then quoted the Bible:
"And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell."
He was taken to the hospital, as was the eye, but it couldn't be popped back in its place. He's now up to be evaluated by a mental health professional, as he may have some mental issues. Ya think?
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GWB: Open Mouth, Insert Foot
President Bush had quite a special time at South Arkansas Community College yesterday. First he was introduced to the audience as "Governor-- excuse me, President" by superintendent of the El Dorado Public Schools Bob Watson.
Then, he couldn't help himself, and made Sammie Briery, an audience member, the butt of a mom/blonde joke. For incomprehensible reasons, GW said to the blonde woman "You and my mother go to the same hair-dye person" (admittedly, out of context it is far from a hoot).
As the audience laughed as the sycophants they were, Briery firmly advised GW: "President Bush, I'm a natural blonde."
"Oh, yes," Bush agreed.
"I'm just a natural blonde," she repeated.
"I couldn't help myself, sorry," Bush shrugged.
Hey, at least he didn't offer to check to confirm that she was a natural blonde.
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You go, Sam!!
Sam Walls will not go down without a fight! Walls, a republican, is running for the Texas House against real estate agent Rob Orr. Seems that someone (certainly not real estate turned politician Orr, or his posse) uncovered some racy photos of Sam back during his wild cross-dressing days and started showing the pics around town.
The GOP leaders have asked Sam to withdraw from the race, but Sam is standing his ground, refusing to give in to people using "very old, personal information" to force him out of the race.
Reminds me of the old J. Edgar Hoover and the mafia stuff…
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More Proof That Women Are Nuts
Man Seang Savuth, of Phnom Penh (Cambodia) carried on with a woman known only as Harch for 4 years, in spite of the fact he was married and had a 14 year old daughter with his wife.
Harch and Man had a daughter a year ago, and all seemed serious. Or as serious as an affair can be.
Well, the other night, Harch said to Man that he better make her an honest woman and leave his wife. He said no.
Apparently she anticipated this answer, and had placed a bowl of acid under the bed. She reached under & threw the caustic stuff on his face.
Man may be permanently blinded by the acid, and likely is going to stick to his plan of not leaving his wife for Harch (a clearly stable and loving woman). Question is, will his wife stick around?
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This is Taking Do It Yourself a Bit Too Far
A 40 year old woman from a rural area of Mexico is recuperating after GIVING HERSELF A C-SECTION to deliver her healthy baby boy. She lives in an area without running water, electricity, or pretty much anything, and when she was having trouble with a natural birth she decided to do what it takes to save the kiddo.
According to the doctors at the Dr Manuel Velasco Suarez Hospital in San Pablo, Mexico, "She took three small glasses of hard liquor and, using a kitchen knife, sliced her abdomen in three attempts ... and delivered a male infant that breathed immediately and cried,"
Before she passed out, the woman told one of her other kids to call a nurse for help (thank goodness they at least had phones!), and she was moved to the hospital for treatment.
Docs are indicating that it's the mother's instinct that pushed her to do her own C section. Wow.
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Frequent ejaculations may counter prostate cancer
A study conducted by US researchers has supported the results of a previous Australian study from last July: ejaculation is good for you. Apparently, it not only DOESN'T CAUSE prostate cancer, it can even protect men from it!
I believe Graham Giles put it best when he said "The more you flush the ducts out, the less there is to hang around and damage the cells that line them,"
So cum on along, guys! Enjoy yourselves!
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GWB: Open Mouth, Insert Foot
President Bush had quite a special time at South Arkansas Community College yesterday. First he was introduced to the audience as "Governor-- excuse me, President" by superintendent of the El Dorado Public Schools Bob Watson.
Then, he couldn't help himself, and made Sammie Briery, an audience member, the butt of a mom/blonde joke. For incomprehensible reasons, GW said to the blonde woman "You and my mother go to the same hair-dye person" (admittedly, out of context it is far from a hoot).
As the audience laughed as the sycophants they were, Briery firmly advised GW: "President Bush, I'm a natural blonde."
"Oh, yes," Bush agreed.
"I'm just a natural blonde," she repeated.
"I couldn't help myself, sorry," Bush shrugged.
Hey, at least he didn't offer to check to confirm that she was a natural blonde.
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You go, Sam!!
Sam Walls will not go down without a fight! Walls, a republican, is running for the Texas House against real estate agent Rob Orr. Seems that someone (certainly not real estate turned politician Orr, or his posse) uncovered some racy photos of Sam back during his wild cross-dressing days and started showing the pics around town.
The GOP leaders have asked Sam to withdraw from the race, but Sam is standing his ground, refusing to give in to people using "very old, personal information" to force him out of the race.
Reminds me of the old J. Edgar Hoover and the mafia stuff…
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More Proof That Women Are Nuts
Man Seang Savuth, of Phnom Penh (Cambodia) carried on with a woman known only as Harch for 4 years, in spite of the fact he was married and had a 14 year old daughter with his wife.
Harch and Man had a daughter a year ago, and all seemed serious. Or as serious as an affair can be.
Well, the other night, Harch said to Man that he better make her an honest woman and leave his wife. He said no.
Apparently she anticipated this answer, and had placed a bowl of acid under the bed. She reached under & threw the caustic stuff on his face.
Man may be permanently blinded by the acid, and likely is going to stick to his plan of not leaving his wife for Harch (a clearly stable and loving woman). Question is, will his wife stick around?
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This is Taking Do It Yourself a Bit Too Far
A 40 year old woman from a rural area of Mexico is recuperating after GIVING HERSELF A C-SECTION to deliver her healthy baby boy. She lives in an area without running water, electricity, or pretty much anything, and when she was having trouble with a natural birth she decided to do what it takes to save the kiddo.
According to the doctors at the Dr Manuel Velasco Suarez Hospital in San Pablo, Mexico, "She took three small glasses of hard liquor and, using a kitchen knife, sliced her abdomen in three attempts ... and delivered a male infant that breathed immediately and cried,"
Before she passed out, the woman told one of her other kids to call a nurse for help (thank goodness they at least had phones!), and she was moved to the hospital for treatment.
Docs are indicating that it's the mother's instinct that pushed her to do her own C section. Wow.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Frequent ejaculations may counter prostate cancer
A study conducted by US researchers has supported the results of a previous Australian study from last July: ejaculation is good for you. Apparently, it not only DOESN'T CAUSE prostate cancer, it can even protect men from it!
I believe Graham Giles put it best when he said "The more you flush the ducts out, the less there is to hang around and damage the cells that line them,"
So cum on along, guys! Enjoy yourselves!
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Tuesday, April 06, 2004
Today in History: Apr 6 1976 Howard Hughes dies of health complications related to syphillis.
What a way to go.
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DID YOU FART?
Now this is different. The police burst into a home in London during a drug raid. Apparently, one of the officers farted during the proceedings and didn't apologize. The druggies were offended by this lapse in common courtesy and have now issued a formal complaint against the police involved. "An allegation has been received from a person in the house that one of the male officers broke wind and did not apologize to the family for his action...the complainant felt it was rude and unprofessional," the letter stated.
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A Contribution from the usually silent and mysterious Nick Gonzon...
Diamond Mining
When Mary Denise Flowers went to Littman Jewelers she saw a lovely 1.5 carat diamond ring that she liked so much she could just eat it up! So she did. Sadly for Mary, a security camera caught her swallowing the $20k piece of jewelry and she was arrested.
Littman Jewelers has now recovered the slightly-worse-for-wear ring and is going to have it melted down, and they swear they won't resell the diamond itself. Ew.
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Running of the Wool
Wellington, New Zealand, wants to be the next Pamplona. Lacking bulls to run down their city streets, though, they settled upon sheep. 2000 of them. The first annual Running of the Sheep went, well, baaaaaaaaaadly.
Unlike the big angry bulls which trample everything in their way as they course straight down the city streets of Pamplona, the sheep reportedly just kind of ran around in circles a la Far Side cartoons.
So the spectators all started pushing the sheep around and whistling and shouting at them and the woolies just ran all over the place with looks of confusion on their dull faces.
Said one spectator: "The sheep I think panicked . . . and we couldn't keep in front of them,"
The event "was extremely ambitious, sheep being sheep, and people being people," one unnamed woman told TV3 News.
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What a way to go.
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DID YOU FART?
Now this is different. The police burst into a home in London during a drug raid. Apparently, one of the officers farted during the proceedings and didn't apologize. The druggies were offended by this lapse in common courtesy and have now issued a formal complaint against the police involved. "An allegation has been received from a person in the house that one of the male officers broke wind and did not apologize to the family for his action...the complainant felt it was rude and unprofessional," the letter stated.
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A Contribution from the usually silent and mysterious Nick Gonzon...
Diamond Mining
When Mary Denise Flowers went to Littman Jewelers she saw a lovely 1.5 carat diamond ring that she liked so much she could just eat it up! So she did. Sadly for Mary, a security camera caught her swallowing the $20k piece of jewelry and she was arrested.
Littman Jewelers has now recovered the slightly-worse-for-wear ring and is going to have it melted down, and they swear they won't resell the diamond itself. Ew.
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Running of the Wool
Wellington, New Zealand, wants to be the next Pamplona. Lacking bulls to run down their city streets, though, they settled upon sheep. 2000 of them. The first annual Running of the Sheep went, well, baaaaaaaaaadly.
Unlike the big angry bulls which trample everything in their way as they course straight down the city streets of Pamplona, the sheep reportedly just kind of ran around in circles a la Far Side cartoons.
So the spectators all started pushing the sheep around and whistling and shouting at them and the woolies just ran all over the place with looks of confusion on their dull faces.
Said one spectator: "The sheep I think panicked . . . and we couldn't keep in front of them,"
The event "was extremely ambitious, sheep being sheep, and people being people," one unnamed woman told TV3 News.
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Monday, April 05, 2004
Worshipping the Whale
An 82 foot whale washed up on shore in Vietnam last Friday and since then thousands of people have flocked to the beach to pay it homage. The pilgrims burn incense near the big stinky dead mammal and plan to use its bones (once they're stripped of rotting flesh) to build a temple in its honor, as dead whales are supposedly an omen of good fishing.
Wouldn't it just be so cool if it exploded like that one in Taiwan a couple months ago?
Pop Goes the Whale
Today in History: April 5, 1994, Kurt Cobain blows out his brains and injects new life into the washed up career of Courtney I-used-to-be-just-another-nameless-druggie-in-a-rock-n-roll-band Love, allowing her to be front page news practically every freakin' day for one act of stupidity or another.
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In the 'Sensitivity of the Week' Category...
Special Effects, a video and printing store in Ohio, has a window display that is certainly drawing attention.
The window has a lovely diorama of an overturned table with legs dangling overhead (presumably those of a successful suicide). Beer cans are strewn about, and on a table there is a scribbled suicide note on notebook paper and in contrast a lovely professionally printed letter next to it.
The sign in the window reads, "Contemplating suicide? Let Special Effects give your suicide note that professional look."
Suicide prevention folks are outraged and filled with sorrow regarding the cold hearted nature of storeowner Chris Goran. Chris said that most of her customers think it's a funny display and gosh, she didn't think people would be offended.
She's decided to keep the display up, but she might add a suicide prevention hot line phone number to it. Hopefully on a well-printed document.
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Tokyo Elderly Urged to Stay on Their Feet
Ambulance drivers in Tokyo are tired of responding to "I've fallen and I can't get up" calls. So fire stations in Tokyo will begin offering classes to the elderly to teach them how to stop tipping over so darned easily.
The Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare has been offering classes on how to remain vertical since 1997, but attendance not been steady.
Classes from the Firestations will begin later this month.
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Bill Gates No Longer the World's Richest Man
Yup, you read it right. Bill Gates is now an also-ran, since Ingvar Kamprad has been determined to have personal wealth of $53 billion. Bill only has $47 billion.
Who is this Ingvar fellow, you ask? He's the dude who started IKEA.
Who would have thought particle board furniture could create such wealth?
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Holy Cow!
The vicar at All Saints Church in England has decided to show how American Dysfunctional Cartoon Families sends out a Christian message.
Robin Spittle (not the deserter of Juniper Bank, mind you, she spells hers Robyn) is holding 4 classes at the end of April, each dealing with one of the main family members. Spittle says that each Simpsons episode is chock-full of Christian themes, and Marge and Homer are really pillars of moral society. So too young Bart and Lisa. No mention of Crusty the Clown is expected.
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Look Before You Flush
It was a nasty scene when Takoe Dawkins walked in to the room with someone else's boyfriend. The someone else, a 25-year-old Connecticut woman whose name has not been released, got really really mad and the two got to tussling.
During the brawl, Takoe BIT OFF the right ring finger of the girlfriend. After the chomping, the boyfriend and some other heroes broke up the girl-fight and someone who likes to keep a battleground tidy took the finger and flushed it down the toilet.
The finger has not been retrieved, and charges are being filed against Takoe.
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Adolf Doesn't Live Here Anymore
Don't go looking for Adolf Hitler in the phone book for Haslach, Upper Austria. He has just been stripped of his citizenship of that town. Yes, THAT Adolf. Turns out that when he died, his honorary citizenship of the town didn't die with him. So the Mayor of the town is just tying up loose ends.
Herr Dude is still an honorary citizen of Bitterfeld, Germany. The Mayor of Bitterfeld said that Hitler's name will remain on the books. So there.
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In the 'Sensitivity of the Week' Category...
Special Effects, a video and printing store in Ohio, has a window display that is certainly drawing attention.
The window has a lovely diorama of an overturned table with legs dangling overhead (presumably those of a successful suicide). Beer cans are strewn about, and on a table there is a scribbled suicide note on notebook paper and in contrast a lovely professionally printed letter next to it.
The sign in the window reads, "Contemplating suicide? Let Special Effects give your suicide note that professional look."
Suicide prevention folks are outraged and filled with sorrow regarding the cold hearted nature of storeowner Chris Goran. Chris said that most of her customers think it's a funny display and gosh, she didn't think people would be offended.
She's decided to keep the display up, but she might add a suicide prevention hot line phone number to it. Hopefully on a well-printed document.
88888888888888888888
Tokyo Elderly Urged to Stay on Their Feet
Ambulance drivers in Tokyo are tired of responding to "I've fallen and I can't get up" calls. So fire stations in Tokyo will begin offering classes to the elderly to teach them how to stop tipping over so darned easily.
The Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare has been offering classes on how to remain vertical since 1997, but attendance not been steady.
Classes from the Firestations will begin later this month.
88888888888888888888
Bill Gates No Longer the World's Richest Man
Yup, you read it right. Bill Gates is now an also-ran, since Ingvar Kamprad has been determined to have personal wealth of $53 billion. Bill only has $47 billion.
Who is this Ingvar fellow, you ask? He's the dude who started IKEA.
Who would have thought particle board furniture could create such wealth?
88888888888888888888
Holy Cow!
The vicar at All Saints Church in England has decided to show how American Dysfunctional Cartoon Families sends out a Christian message.
Robin Spittle (not the deserter of Juniper Bank, mind you, she spells hers Robyn) is holding 4 classes at the end of April, each dealing with one of the main family members. Spittle says that each Simpsons episode is chock-full of Christian themes, and Marge and Homer are really pillars of moral society. So too young Bart and Lisa. No mention of Crusty the Clown is expected.
88888888888888888888888
Look Before You Flush
It was a nasty scene when Takoe Dawkins walked in to the room with someone else's boyfriend. The someone else, a 25-year-old Connecticut woman whose name has not been released, got really really mad and the two got to tussling.
During the brawl, Takoe BIT OFF the right ring finger of the girlfriend. After the chomping, the boyfriend and some other heroes broke up the girl-fight and someone who likes to keep a battleground tidy took the finger and flushed it down the toilet.
The finger has not been retrieved, and charges are being filed against Takoe.
888888888888888888888888888888
Adolf Doesn't Live Here Anymore
Don't go looking for Adolf Hitler in the phone book for Haslach, Upper Austria. He has just been stripped of his citizenship of that town. Yes, THAT Adolf. Turns out that when he died, his honorary citizenship of the town didn't die with him. So the Mayor of the town is just tying up loose ends.
Herr Dude is still an honorary citizen of Bitterfeld, Germany. The Mayor of Bitterfeld said that Hitler's name will remain on the books. So there.
