Daily Drivel

Today in History: Apr 1 1961 Jim Bakker and Tammy Faye get married! Ha ha. Getting married on April Fool's Day. Sweet.

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Link of the Day, courtesy of the Euphemistic Raymond Harrington: http://walkingdead.net/perl/euphemism

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For those in the DE/PA area: Sauerwine is playing at McCoy's on 202 (Near Marstan's furniture and that weird fireplace shop...just over the PA line on the right) TONIGHT around 9:30. This will be the last appearance of live music at McCoy's for the foreseeable future, as rumor has it that they bought a Karaoke machine at Target last week.

They (the band, not the karaoke folk) are actually quite good, in spite of that frustrated-bankers-playing-music thing. Go figure!

www.sauerwine.com

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What a Shytty Way to Go

Martin T, a Czech tractor driver, was out on the job dumping a load of manure into a field. Word is that the 34 year old dufus somehow managed to position himself such that his own tractor dumped 8 tons of manure on him. He kind of died. His employer has this to say: "It absolutely beats me how this could happen...but it's tough to blame him now that he is dead."

So true.

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Ankle Biter Stops Mail Delivery

Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds. 4 1/2 pound Chihuahuas, on the other hand...well, that's a different story.

Folks unfortunate enough to live on Guyer St in Hobart Indiana have been missing their mail of late because of a mean little dog named Bobo. Tiny Bobo has been attacking postal workers with a yippy vengeance, and they aren't going to take it any more. The pint sized pooch hasn't actually managed to sink his teeth into any carrier's legs, but the irritation factor is just too overwhelming.

"Dog" owner Vicki Seber has been cited twice for allowing her rabid runt to run amok. Hopefully soon peace will be restored and mail will be delivered.

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Ms. Wheelchair stripped of title for standing up

Janeal Lee, Ms Wheelchair Wisconsin, has been stripped of her title because pageant officials say she's a poser. A poser who can STAND! The Post-Crescent snapped a picture of Ms Wheelchair Wisconsin standing with her high school math students and she has now been deemed 'not disabled enough'. According to the pageant's statement: "You've got women who are in their wheelchairs all the time and they get offended if they see someone standing up. We can't have title holders out there walking when they're seen in the public."

Until this blow, Janeal had planned to go on to the national pageant with her little sister, Ms Wheelchair Minnesota.

Now, however, little sis will need to wheel over there all alone, as Janeal has been pushed aside by the runner-up Michelle Kearney.

Er, wheeler-up, I mean.

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It's Anarchy, I Tell You!

Nazir Mohammad was in court the other day in Baroda, India, when he got tired of the slow pace of his case. He leaped out of the witness box, ripped off one of his slippers and threw it at the judge. The judge promptly grabbed a paperweight and slammed it right back at Nazir.

Due to this horrific display, Nazir has been kicked back into prison with an extra offence against him and members of the Baroda Bar Association have gone on strike to protest the lack of security in the court rooms.

Hm.

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Old Fart Battered By Cop

Melvin Ainsworth donned his 49ers jacket and was on his 227th trek across the Carquinez Bridge, strolling along as well has his 77 year old body would allow. Suddenly, a cop leaped upon him from behind, and battered him such that he needed 6 stitches above his left eye, his lip was swollen, and his wrist was sprained.

Seems a very confused tipster had called the police to report that a man in his 20's or 30's was about to jump from the bridge, or had a baby dangling over the bride, and said individual was wearing a 49ers jacket. Of course, when the cop saw the slow moving septuagenarian strolling along, he knew great force was needed to stop him.

As Mel said, "They ruined my 227th trip across the bridge. The second half of the trip, I rode in an ambulance."

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Memorial looks like big penis

---straight from ananova

A Dutch war memorial that goes up and down, and spurts flames may be scrapped after complaints it looks like a giant penis.

The Liberation Monument is a giant copper obelisk that rises and falls depending on the level of sunlight, and spurts flames out of the top during important festivals.

It is due to go on show in the village of Wageningen where the German capitulation was signed at the end of the Second World War 60 years ago.

In full sunlight, the erection reaches a height of ten metres, shrinking back to just six metres when the light dims.

It was due to be exposed to the public at an official ceremony in May but now village councillors say it should either be scrapped or radically redesigned.

A spokesman said: "Any association with a phallus is undesirable, whether justified or unjustified, and is to be avoided at all costs."