Thursday, January 13, 2005
Link of the Day: So the other day Sir Norvick and I were babbling and he mentioned the wonders of the EVP craze. Having apparently been living under a rock for the past year or so, I was uninformed. Not so any longer. In case there are any other sub-rock dwellers out there, observe and learn: http://www.ghoststudy.com/new/evp.html
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Un PC Teddy Bears Upset Crazy People
Vermont Teddy Bear Co is in hot water because of their limited edition "Crazy for You" bear. The cute, cuddly, $70 bear comes dressed in a straitjacket and even has its commitment papers with it. Mental health folks have taken offense, saying that the stuffed animal with its punny paraphernalia 'stigmatizes persons with mental illness'.
Vermont Teddy Bear says that's just nuts, but they have stated that they will discontinue the special limited edition 2005 valentine's bear after February 14th.
The mental health folks have agreed to this concession.
Hee hee.
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Time to Find a New Beach
Waah. Apparently people in Melbourne, FL, have been abusing the privilege of wearing a thong on the beach. That's right, folks: thong attire is a privilege, not a right and DON'T go thinking just anybody can wear a thong in public because that's JUST NOT RIGHT and can be downright offensive. But where was I...oh yes...
So Melbourne City Council has now voted unanimously to outlaw the thong and to reduce the city's adult entertainment zone from 937 acres to a measly 40 acres. And don't even get me started on the sad fate of the American Association for Nude Recreation in Kissimmee (AANRK).
It's just too much to...bare >rimshot<.
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Another Yahoo Born in Romania
How sweet. Nonu and Cornelia Dragoman, from Medias Romania, met each other over the internet. They communicated for 3 months then met in person and got married. They just had a little baby. In honor of how they got together, Nonu and Cornelia have named him....Yahoo.
Specifically, "We named him Lucian Yahoo, one name after my father and the other from the computer. These were the two elements which guided my life."
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Another Special Romanian
A man from Iasi, Romania, had a little dog. His neighbor had a big dog. His neighbor's big dog used to bark alllllll through the night. So the man from Iasi decided to poison the big dog. He bought some strychnine and injected it in some food. He tossed the food to the dog. "Die, dog, die, " he thought.
The big dog wouldn't die. So the man from Iasi has gone to consumer protection officials to complain. The consumer protection agency is looking into it.
So the next time you purchase and use some strychnine, and it doesn't have the fatal results you hope for, just dial up your local consumer protection agency and complain. They'll take care of everything.
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Excellent
An Austrian bank robber walked into a Croation bank. He gave the cashier a note that said, "I have a bomb, give me the money." The cashier pretended she doesn't understand him. (Such a sly woman she was) So he said it aloud. She kept making him repeat it louder and louder until in utter frustration he shouted at the top of his Austrian lungs "I HAVE A BOMB - GIVE ME THE MONEY."
The bellowing woke up the armed security guards who slammed him to the ground and help him till the cops came.
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Get Your Snot Here!
It's not too late for those of you who have been wanting to buy a giant ball of snot. James Robert Ford has now decided to part with this 'Bogey Ball', a brussels-sprout-sized wad of mucus he has been collecting for two years. Because his snot is a unique part of his body, and totally unique, he has placed a high price on his boogers.
The Bogey Ball can be yours for no less than...$20,000.
Ew.
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Un PC Teddy Bears Upset Crazy People
Vermont Teddy Bear Co is in hot water because of their limited edition "Crazy for You" bear. The cute, cuddly, $70 bear comes dressed in a straitjacket and even has its commitment papers with it. Mental health folks have taken offense, saying that the stuffed animal with its punny paraphernalia 'stigmatizes persons with mental illness'.
Vermont Teddy Bear says that's just nuts, but they have stated that they will discontinue the special limited edition 2005 valentine's bear after February 14th.
The mental health folks have agreed to this concession.
Hee hee.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Time to Find a New Beach
Waah. Apparently people in Melbourne, FL, have been abusing the privilege of wearing a thong on the beach. That's right, folks: thong attire is a privilege, not a right and DON'T go thinking just anybody can wear a thong in public because that's JUST NOT RIGHT and can be downright offensive. But where was I...oh yes...
So Melbourne City Council has now voted unanimously to outlaw the thong and to reduce the city's adult entertainment zone from 937 acres to a measly 40 acres. And don't even get me started on the sad fate of the American Association for Nude Recreation in Kissimmee (AANRK).
It's just too much to...bare >rimshot<.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Another Yahoo Born in Romania
How sweet. Nonu and Cornelia Dragoman, from Medias Romania, met each other over the internet. They communicated for 3 months then met in person and got married. They just had a little baby. In honor of how they got together, Nonu and Cornelia have named him....Yahoo.
Specifically, "We named him Lucian Yahoo, one name after my father and the other from the computer. These were the two elements which guided my life."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Another Special Romanian
A man from Iasi, Romania, had a little dog. His neighbor had a big dog. His neighbor's big dog used to bark alllllll through the night. So the man from Iasi decided to poison the big dog. He bought some strychnine and injected it in some food. He tossed the food to the dog. "Die, dog, die, " he thought.
The big dog wouldn't die. So the man from Iasi has gone to consumer protection officials to complain. The consumer protection agency is looking into it.
So the next time you purchase and use some strychnine, and it doesn't have the fatal results you hope for, just dial up your local consumer protection agency and complain. They'll take care of everything.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Excellent
An Austrian bank robber walked into a Croation bank. He gave the cashier a note that said, "I have a bomb, give me the money." The cashier pretended she doesn't understand him. (Such a sly woman she was) So he said it aloud. She kept making him repeat it louder and louder until in utter frustration he shouted at the top of his Austrian lungs "I HAVE A BOMB - GIVE ME THE MONEY."
The bellowing woke up the armed security guards who slammed him to the ground and help him till the cops came.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Get Your Snot Here!
It's not too late for those of you who have been wanting to buy a giant ball of snot. James Robert Ford has now decided to part with this 'Bogey Ball', a brussels-sprout-sized wad of mucus he has been collecting for two years. Because his snot is a unique part of his body, and totally unique, he has placed a high price on his boogers.
The Bogey Ball can be yours for no less than...$20,000.
Ew.
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Link of the Day: Here he comes to save the day!! From the ubiquitous Lord Mutter: http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=1297444
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Ali G Comic Ticks Off Cowboys
Comic Sacha Baron Cohen, most known for his character Ali G, has struck again! This time under the guise of Borat Sagdiyev, a stupid and bumbling dude from Kazakhstan.
Borat was introduced to the audience at a rodeo in Salem, VA, as an immigrant touring America who had a message. The message he then said, in halting and broken English, included his sincere wish: "I hope you kill every man, woman and child in Iraq, down to the lizards. And may George W. Bush drink the blood of every man, woman and child in Iraq."
The cowboys started grumbling at that.
Then Borat sang The Star-Spangled Banner, messing up the words and finishing with the phrase "your home...in the....grave".
That was when the cowboys got really really really mad. As stated by a local DJ, Robynn Jaymes, "If he had been out there a minute longer, I think somebody would have shot him." The rodeo producer managed to get him out of the stadium, for fear of a cowboy riot.
Ah, brings back memories of Andy Kaufmann....
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What I Did Last Summer
Last June a couple of Gettysburg High students thought it would be really funny to bomb their Pennsylvania high school. So one of them swiped his dad's plane and the other one got a big bucket of eggs. The buzzed over the school and let loose with the eggs BAPPITY BAPPITY BANG, causing quite a panic on the ground. In fact, while they were buzzing around downtown Gettysburg (looking for a target?), panicked officials even evacuated the top floors of a hotel for fear of bombing (egging).
The kids would have gotten away with it, as fog prevented the cops from reading the plane's tail number, but they started bragging to friends about their summertime antics. So now they are charged with risking a catastrophe and reckless endangerment. Plus there's the small matter of flying a plane without a license.
Loose lips sink ships.
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Oh, Hey: Breaking News
The US Government has published their latest findings and recommendations on healthy eating and lifestyles. Shockingly, they recommend paying attention to caloric intake, eating whole grain foods, eating up fruits and vegetables, drinking lower fat milk, and exercising. Smoking is bad for you and alcohol consumption should be limited.
Wow. This is new information. I find that difficult to believe. This conversation is over.
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Location Location Location
Rubin Cornejo from Reading, PA, wanted to have a pig roast in spite of the fact that it is...what's that word....WINTER. So he gathered 13 of his buddies together, got a bunch of propane torches going in the basement and started roasting the piggy in the downstairs of his house.
The party had to be cancelled, however, after he and all of his friends got carbon monoxide poisoning. Who would've thought?
He received a citation, but no fine, and has been warned to remove the equipment immediately and never have another pig roast inside his house again.
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Actor Shortage
Not since the Wizard of Oz have little people been in such demand. Producers of a new series of Dr Who shows have had to stop production due to a lack of people of stature appropriate to play little blue aliens. They're all over doing Harry Potter's new film or the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory remake!
Note: new phraseology required for little people/dwarves/munchkins/whatever. The official terminology according to the theatre world is: Persons of Restricted Growth.
Remember that.
Link of the Day: Here he comes to save the day!! From the ubiquitous Lord Mutter: http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=1297444
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Ali G Comic Ticks Off Cowboys
Comic Sacha Baron Cohen, most known for his character Ali G, has struck again! This time under the guise of Borat Sagdiyev, a stupid and bumbling dude from Kazakhstan.
Borat was introduced to the audience at a rodeo in Salem, VA, as an immigrant touring America who had a message. The message he then said, in halting and broken English, included his sincere wish: "I hope you kill every man, woman and child in Iraq, down to the lizards. And may George W. Bush drink the blood of every man, woman and child in Iraq."
The cowboys started grumbling at that.
Then Borat sang The Star-Spangled Banner, messing up the words and finishing with the phrase "your home...in the....grave".
That was when the cowboys got really really really mad. As stated by a local DJ, Robynn Jaymes, "If he had been out there a minute longer, I think somebody would have shot him." The rodeo producer managed to get him out of the stadium, for fear of a cowboy riot.
Ah, brings back memories of Andy Kaufmann....
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
What I Did Last Summer
Last June a couple of Gettysburg High students thought it would be really funny to bomb their Pennsylvania high school. So one of them swiped his dad's plane and the other one got a big bucket of eggs. The buzzed over the school and let loose with the eggs BAPPITY BAPPITY BANG, causing quite a panic on the ground. In fact, while they were buzzing around downtown Gettysburg (looking for a target?), panicked officials even evacuated the top floors of a hotel for fear of bombing (egging).
The kids would have gotten away with it, as fog prevented the cops from reading the plane's tail number, but they started bragging to friends about their summertime antics. So now they are charged with risking a catastrophe and reckless endangerment. Plus there's the small matter of flying a plane without a license.
Loose lips sink ships.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Oh, Hey: Breaking News
The US Government has published their latest findings and recommendations on healthy eating and lifestyles. Shockingly, they recommend paying attention to caloric intake, eating whole grain foods, eating up fruits and vegetables, drinking lower fat milk, and exercising. Smoking is bad for you and alcohol consumption should be limited.
Wow. This is new information. I find that difficult to believe. This conversation is over.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Location Location Location
Rubin Cornejo from Reading, PA, wanted to have a pig roast in spite of the fact that it is...what's that word....WINTER. So he gathered 13 of his buddies together, got a bunch of propane torches going in the basement and started roasting the piggy in the downstairs of his house.
The party had to be cancelled, however, after he and all of his friends got carbon monoxide poisoning. Who would've thought?
He received a citation, but no fine, and has been warned to remove the equipment immediately and never have another pig roast inside his house again.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Actor Shortage
Not since the Wizard of Oz have little people been in such demand. Producers of a new series of Dr Who shows have had to stop production due to a lack of people of stature appropriate to play little blue aliens. They're all over doing Harry Potter's new film or the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory remake!
Note: new phraseology required for little people/dwarves/munchkins/whatever. The official terminology according to the theatre world is: Persons of Restricted Growth.
Remember that.
