Daily Drivel

Waaaaaaaah! Statues Crying in Australia

A whole bunch of statues of Jesus and/or V Mary have started crying and oozing rose-scented oil last week. Oh, and some crucifixes, tablecloths, and a set of prayer-beads. Drip drip drip. Hundreds of folks have swarmed about a Vietnamese community hall in Brisbane to take a peek at the drippy statues, which are now kept behind glass.

Father Adrian Farrelly (no relation to the Farrelly brothers movie guys I'm sure) has been assigned by the church to check into this and determine if it's a hoax or not. Will keep you apprised.

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Dumb Crook

Ernest Di Falco is, shall we say, dumber than a bag of hammers. Ernest committed a bank bobbery in Rutherford, NJ, and then had the supreme stupidity to ask the cashier if he would give him a ride to his getaway car.
In lieu of giving him a ride, the cashier instead ordered a taxi for Ernie, taking the tag numbers as the taxi left and giving them to the cops.
Then again, the staff at the bank knew who the bobber was: he used to work at a nearby pizza shop. Ernie was captured by police, who recovered the following:
1. money
2. a fake gun
3. an old revolver w/7 bullets.

He's a thinker, that one.


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Pornfest Cancelled

Western Washington University is not going to hold their annual Pornfest, for the first time in 12 years. Angered parents condemned the Pornfest, and the University has decided that it is uncouth to have fun activities like a condom hunt and an info booth on self-gratification.

Party Poopers.

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Attack of the Killer Swan

Folks of Nottinghamshire have a problem at their local pond. A big meanie swan appears to have murdered a springer spaniel in its zeal to save its family. We have a statement from George Kennedy, a witness to the brutal attack in which the big old bird battered the dog with its mighty wings and then held it under water with its beak.
An eye-witness account by George Kennedy:
"The dog was swimming in the water, chasing the wildfowl, when the cob went for it. He just rushed up, hissing, reared up and hit the dog with his flapping wings. That seemed to stun it. Then he pulled the dog under the water. It was over in the blink of an eye - the dog didn't stand a chance."

Another dog has gone missing in the past few days. Scary scary swan.


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Hmrs Iliad in txt spk

Grk pm 'The Iliad' hs bn shrnk dwn 2 IM spk, in an attmpt 2 gt mr flks 2 rd it. Bk 2 is nw nly 24 wrds. Nt poetic, bt shrt. Hr is bk 2:
""Agamemnon hd a dream: Troy not defended. Ordered attack! But Trojans knew they were coming n were prepared. Achilles sat sulking in his tent."
Hm.

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