Friday, May 07, 2004
By the way, if you take a gander over there to the right, at the links, you may find new portals to pleasure: Reality Carnival is a site I just found today. Looks like there might be some fun info mining to be done there.
Also, we've got the addition of NetCartoonGames. That would be uh, games...on the net....kinda like cartoons. There.
Also, found this strange gem out there: CarStuckGirls Chicks with good bodies (a couple of butterfaces, of course) who, uh, get stuck on ice , in the mud , where ever and have to get their vehicles out of the predicament. Strange. It's up for a Webbie award. I wonder if it will win? And if it does, will the website guru get stuck in the mud on the way to the ceremony?
Also, we've got the addition of NetCartoonGames. That would be uh, games...on the net....kinda like cartoons. There.
Also, found this strange gem out there: CarStuckGirls Chicks with good bodies (a couple of butterfaces, of course) who, uh, get stuck on ice , in the mud , where ever and have to get their vehicles out of the predicament. Strange. It's up for a Webbie award. I wonder if it will win? And if it does, will the website guru get stuck in the mud on the way to the ceremony?
Too Much Time
If you have some time to kill, you might want to look at this guy's hole.
Bwah ha ha ha ha. Nope, nothing nearly as twisted as you just thought. It's really about this...this...this...HOLE that he dug in his back yard to escape the reality of a pregnant wife and a changing world. Sure am glad he did such fine documentation!
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So Sunday we may find that Andy Kaufman was only kidding when he kicked the bucket 20 years ago. Andy purportedly told his buddies many a time that if he were to fake his own death, he would return 20 years later to the day.
So in anticipation of the Second Coming of Latka, his friends have rented out The House of Blues on the Sunset Strip in West Hollywood to wait for him.
Bob Zmuda as Tony Clifton provides the musical entertainment.
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Chief MidAtlantic Correspondent Glenn McMillen thought perhaps this was not common knowledge...
Talk about a rough day at work. Back on April 19th, Isidro Mejia was building a home when he fell from the roof of the building. He landed on a coworker who was working on the 2nd floor with a high powered nail gun. Somehow, as the two men grappled for balance, or perhaps when they made impact on the ground below, the nail gun went off. Isidro was nailed 6 times by the tool, left with nails embedded in his face, neck, and skull.
Five nails, including three in his brain and one in his spine, were removed during one marathon surgery. The sixth nail was removed a week later from Mejia's face.
Amazingly, he is expected to make a full recovery. And he has some really cool X Rays to show off now.
If you have some time to kill, you might want to look at this guy's hole.
Bwah ha ha ha ha. Nope, nothing nearly as twisted as you just thought. It's really about this...this...this...HOLE that he dug in his back yard to escape the reality of a pregnant wife and a changing world. Sure am glad he did such fine documentation!
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So Sunday we may find that Andy Kaufman was only kidding when he kicked the bucket 20 years ago. Andy purportedly told his buddies many a time that if he were to fake his own death, he would return 20 years later to the day.
So in anticipation of the Second Coming of Latka, his friends have rented out The House of Blues on the Sunset Strip in West Hollywood to wait for him.
Bob Zmuda as Tony Clifton provides the musical entertainment.
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Chief MidAtlantic Correspondent Glenn McMillen thought perhaps this was not common knowledge...
Talk about a rough day at work. Back on April 19th, Isidro Mejia was building a home when he fell from the roof of the building. He landed on a coworker who was working on the 2nd floor with a high powered nail gun. Somehow, as the two men grappled for balance, or perhaps when they made impact on the ground below, the nail gun went off. Isidro was nailed 6 times by the tool, left with nails embedded in his face, neck, and skull.
Five nails, including three in his brain and one in his spine, were removed during one marathon surgery. The sixth nail was removed a week later from Mejia's face.
Amazingly, he is expected to make a full recovery. And he has some really cool X Rays to show off now.
All Coked Up and No Place to Go
Scandal is brewing at Florida race tracks, where over 100 racing greyhounds have tested positive for cocaine over the past few years (according to the Tampa Tribune).
"This is a shocking development," said GREY2K USA President Carey Theil. "It is a disturbing pattern of behavior that calls into question the integrity of wagers being placed at Florida dog tracks."
Seriously. They should get those dogs into a 12-step program and pronto!
Scandal is brewing at Florida race tracks, where over 100 racing greyhounds have tested positive for cocaine over the past few years (according to the Tampa Tribune).
"This is a shocking development," said GREY2K USA President Carey Theil. "It is a disturbing pattern of behavior that calls into question the integrity of wagers being placed at Florida dog tracks."
Seriously. They should get those dogs into a 12-step program and pronto!
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Today in History: May 7, 1969 Traci Lords was born. How ironic that it was in 69, eh?
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Delaware Paving Driveways with Ammo
Down in Sussex, DE, it's common for folks to pave their driveways with crushed clam shells rather than concrete or black top. Give it that beachy feeling, plus you get more bang for your buck. Right now, though, many homeowners may be getting a literal bang out of the bargain!
Seems clam harvesters have been dredging up surplus munitions that were dumped at sea decades ago along with the traditional clams. Reports say that since February, bomb disposal teams have had to respond to 9 complaints from homeowners, and have recovered over 100 war relics from resident yards and driveways.
In Bill Layton's yard last month, 3 WWII pineapple grenades and a WWI French rifle grenade, and 13 other grenades were found and removed. "We've been riding over them all winter," said Bill.
Damned lucky ya didn't blow up, Bill - you should play the lottery!
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Chef Awarded Honor for Refusing to Cook
So 32 year old Zhang Xingguo is a chef who has been making a habit of being fired or forced to resign for refusing to cook meats. Rather than saying, "Yo, dude - you're a chef: cook something", he has instead been awarded the title "Green Chef Protecting Wildlife" by the China Wildlife Conservation Association.
Zhang has been fired 12 times and quit 20 times from various cooking jobs because he doesn't like to cook some of the standard fare in China: Civet cats, raccoons, badgers, weasels, baby deer, cats and dogs.
He's fine with serving up snakes, frogs, and tortoises, but he doesn't do the fur-bearing creatures.
I'm thinking it's not too late for Zhang to consider a new line of work, or a new country.
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Jumpin' Jehosephat!
Michelle and Jim-Bob Dugger have 14 kids so far, and have a 15th on the way. The deeply-religious southern Baptist family also has a serious 'J' issue. The kids are named Joshua, Jana, John, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joanna, Jedadiah, Jeremia, Jason, James and Justin, and the unborn child is already named Jackson.
When asked about her large J family, Michelle says, "I think we realised children are a gift. I would like more. I guess we'll have to wait and see."
Jeepers
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Today in History: May 7, 1969 Traci Lords was born. How ironic that it was in 69, eh?
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Delaware Paving Driveways with Ammo
Down in Sussex, DE, it's common for folks to pave their driveways with crushed clam shells rather than concrete or black top. Give it that beachy feeling, plus you get more bang for your buck. Right now, though, many homeowners may be getting a literal bang out of the bargain!
Seems clam harvesters have been dredging up surplus munitions that were dumped at sea decades ago along with the traditional clams. Reports say that since February, bomb disposal teams have had to respond to 9 complaints from homeowners, and have recovered over 100 war relics from resident yards and driveways.
In Bill Layton's yard last month, 3 WWII pineapple grenades and a WWI French rifle grenade, and 13 other grenades were found and removed. "We've been riding over them all winter," said Bill.
Damned lucky ya didn't blow up, Bill - you should play the lottery!
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Chef Awarded Honor for Refusing to Cook
So 32 year old Zhang Xingguo is a chef who has been making a habit of being fired or forced to resign for refusing to cook meats. Rather than saying, "Yo, dude - you're a chef: cook something", he has instead been awarded the title "Green Chef Protecting Wildlife" by the China Wildlife Conservation Association.
Zhang has been fired 12 times and quit 20 times from various cooking jobs because he doesn't like to cook some of the standard fare in China: Civet cats, raccoons, badgers, weasels, baby deer, cats and dogs.
He's fine with serving up snakes, frogs, and tortoises, but he doesn't do the fur-bearing creatures.
I'm thinking it's not too late for Zhang to consider a new line of work, or a new country.
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Jumpin' Jehosephat!
Michelle and Jim-Bob Dugger have 14 kids so far, and have a 15th on the way. The deeply-religious southern Baptist family also has a serious 'J' issue. The kids are named Joshua, Jana, John, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joanna, Jedadiah, Jeremia, Jason, James and Justin, and the unborn child is already named Jackson.
When asked about her large J family, Michelle says, "I think we realised children are a gift. I would like more. I guess we'll have to wait and see."
Jeepers
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Thursday, May 06, 2004
Today in History: May 6 1993. It was a banner day for the US Postal system. Disgruntled Dana Point, CA, worker Mark Richard Hilburn stomps into the Post Office from which he had recently been fired & shoots 2 former coworkers, killing one. Meantime in Dearborn, MI, 27 year postal veteran Lawrence Jasion stomps into HIS post office, kills a mechanic, wounds two others, and then blows his own head off.
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Nipples for Luck
So there's this big old statue of a curvaceous wench that artist Fernando Botero created about 4 years ago. None-too-lovely, the nude woman lounges in state in the city of Cartagena, Columbia. And people from miles around are traveling to see the statue. And touch the statue. On its nipples. Theory is that if the couples touch the statue's breasts, the statue will bless them with long and happy relationships.
Fernando doesn't mind, though now he has to do maintenance on the statue on a regular basis. "It's amazing to hear that the breasts have had to be repaired many times because they're being worn out by too much touching."
Yup yup, been there, done that. Oh...wait...uh..heh.
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Now THAT's Not an All Beef Hotdog!
Olivia Chanes was munching on a delicious hotdog at the Irvine, CA, Costco this past Sunday when she bit into something really hard. Stopped to see what it was, and lo and behold it as a freakin' live 9mm round of ammunition! Olivia got really miffed about this, and the Costco folks quickly rummaged through their stash of hotdogs to be sure there weren't any other loaded wieners in the bunch.
Later, Olivia's belly started to ache, so she went to the hospital. Xrays showed that she had good reason for pain: she had yet another bullet laying there IN HER STOMACH! (Guess she didn't try to chew THAT mouthful). Surgery is/was not necessary as the wise docs told her that this too, shall pass.
All in due time, all in due time.
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The Kitty Made Me Do It!
44 year old Catherine 'Kat Lady' Kaczanowski has pleaded not guilty to charges stemming from a string of bank bobberies she is accused of executing. These heists netted approximately $7500 for Kat. Kat said that she needed the money to raise money to pay for surgery on her pet cat, Smoochie. She came up with the idea of this solution after reading about other successful bank heists.
Well, the money was raised and Smoochie is feeling much better now.
What a relief.
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Very Important News Update
Johnny Depp has requested that folks consider using Keith Richards to portray his father in a sequel to "Pirates of the Caribbean". Never you mind whether or not Richards can act. They could just save a lot of the wardrobe budget, since Richards already dresses and wears his hair just like Captain Jack Sparrow, Depp's crazed, disheveled, slightly femme character in PotC. It's worth a try, eh? Oooh. Look. This is stupid.
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Nipples for Luck
So there's this big old statue of a curvaceous wench that artist Fernando Botero created about 4 years ago. None-too-lovely, the nude woman lounges in state in the city of Cartagena, Columbia. And people from miles around are traveling to see the statue. And touch the statue. On its nipples. Theory is that if the couples touch the statue's breasts, the statue will bless them with long and happy relationships.
Fernando doesn't mind, though now he has to do maintenance on the statue on a regular basis. "It's amazing to hear that the breasts have had to be repaired many times because they're being worn out by too much touching."
Yup yup, been there, done that. Oh...wait...uh..heh.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Now THAT's Not an All Beef Hotdog!
Olivia Chanes was munching on a delicious hotdog at the Irvine, CA, Costco this past Sunday when she bit into something really hard. Stopped to see what it was, and lo and behold it as a freakin' live 9mm round of ammunition! Olivia got really miffed about this, and the Costco folks quickly rummaged through their stash of hotdogs to be sure there weren't any other loaded wieners in the bunch.
Later, Olivia's belly started to ache, so she went to the hospital. Xrays showed that she had good reason for pain: she had yet another bullet laying there IN HER STOMACH! (Guess she didn't try to chew THAT mouthful). Surgery is/was not necessary as the wise docs told her that this too, shall pass.
All in due time, all in due time.
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The Kitty Made Me Do It!
44 year old Catherine 'Kat Lady' Kaczanowski has pleaded not guilty to charges stemming from a string of bank bobberies she is accused of executing. These heists netted approximately $7500 for Kat. Kat said that she needed the money to raise money to pay for surgery on her pet cat, Smoochie. She came up with the idea of this solution after reading about other successful bank heists.
Well, the money was raised and Smoochie is feeling much better now.
What a relief.
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Very Important News Update
Johnny Depp has requested that folks consider using Keith Richards to portray his father in a sequel to "Pirates of the Caribbean". Never you mind whether or not Richards can act. They could just save a lot of the wardrobe budget, since Richards already dresses and wears his hair just like Captain Jack Sparrow, Depp's crazed, disheveled, slightly femme character in PotC. It's worth a try, eh? Oooh. Look. This is stupid.
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
This Day in History: May 5, 1926, the Brady Bunch's live-in maid or whatever, Ann B. Davis was born. In case you are wondering, yes she IS still alive. I checked.
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Headmistress canes colleague
A teacher in Malaysia has learned not to mess with the headmistress. He criticized her, opposing her plans to improve discipline among the school's students. So she caned him. In front of the other teachers.
Her new improved discipline techniques likely will be approved by the remaining teachers.
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Driver fined for not putting dog in seatbelt
Driving through the foothills of the German Alps, hugging the curves, breathing the air, dog's ears flapping in the wind as it sticks its head through the window. Ah, yes. Idyllic, is it not?
Nope. It is not.
Bobbie the Dog got his owner in deep doo doo for not wearing his doggie seatbelt. Cops interrupted the funride to issue a ticket and summons to Bobbie's owner. Said owner has refused to pay the fine, so now it has increased from £17 ($30) to £29 ($52).
The police standpoint on this is clear...to Germans: "Small dogs belong on the floor and larger dogs need to be kept in a harness or in the boot," he said.
Now, as a stupid American, I fail to understand why putting a dog in boots would make it more secure, but hey - to each his own. For those who wish to invest in puppy boots, here's a link: dog boots. Tee hee.
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Sumo Goats: The Stuff of Nightmares
While many people know goats to be rather docile creatures, suitable for petting zoos across the nation and relatively stupid, organizers of the traditional Goat Sumo Ceremonies in Motobu, Okinawa, know otherwise.
Sumo managers state that goats become downright mean and aggressive when put in a tiny wrestling ring facing each other. And hundreds of people are flocking to Motobu to watch the spectacle as you read this. Reports are that the Goat Sumo bouts can last up to 15 minutes or so, unless one of the goats runs away early. Should they both make it through the whole bout, the winner is declared based upon the number of times it slammed its horns against the loser. Then, after the bouts, the sumo goats go take a rest to compose themselves. Whew!
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Istanbul (Not Constantinople)/ Mojito (Not Richland)
Mojito (Beverage):
Ingredients:
3 fresh Mint sprigs
2 tsp Sugar
3 tblsp Lemon juice (or lime), fresh
1 1/2 oz Light rum
Club soda, Chilled
Mixing instructions:
In a tall thin glass, crush part of the mint with a fork to coat the inside. Add the sugar and lemon juice and stir thoroughly. Top with ice. Add rum and mix. Top off with the club soda (or seltzer). Add a lemon slice and the remaining mint. Serves one.
Mojito (New Jersey):
Ingredients:
1 donation of $5000 from Bacardi to the town
1 character on Sex in the City ordering a Mojito
1 seriously odd group of townspeople.
Richland New Jersey has renamed itself 'Mojito'. Because they can.
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Glenn McMillen has today contributed this little nugget:
Gas for free. CooOOOOoool.
A cool computer glitch occurred in Pittsfield Township, Michigan this week. Turns out that somehow gas pump customers could swipe their drivers' licenses in the pumps and still have gas doled out - presumably for free! Bummer is, by swiping their drivers licenses, the 107 or so culprits (most of whom are college students from the area) have been easily identified and are being hunted down like the lying, thieving, snot-nosed, gas-stealing bastards that they really are! HA! Crime doesn't pay, young people, crime does not pay.
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Ugh. Won't Janet's Nipple Just Go Away?
Janet Jackson has accused the US Government of Wagging the Dog...or the Nipple as the case may be. "The government needed something to divert attention away from important problems regarding foreign affairs," said Janet to the Financial Times Germany.
"They simply needed a distraction - and they found that in me. It could have been anyone, but they picked me. That is really alarming," said Jackson.
"It shows you that we desperately need a Democrat as President," she said.
Well, then. Okey Dokey.
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Headmistress canes colleague
A teacher in Malaysia has learned not to mess with the headmistress. He criticized her, opposing her plans to improve discipline among the school's students. So she caned him. In front of the other teachers.
Her new improved discipline techniques likely will be approved by the remaining teachers.
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Driver fined for not putting dog in seatbelt
Driving through the foothills of the German Alps, hugging the curves, breathing the air, dog's ears flapping in the wind as it sticks its head through the window. Ah, yes. Idyllic, is it not?
Nope. It is not.
Bobbie the Dog got his owner in deep doo doo for not wearing his doggie seatbelt. Cops interrupted the funride to issue a ticket and summons to Bobbie's owner. Said owner has refused to pay the fine, so now it has increased from £17 ($30) to £29 ($52).
The police standpoint on this is clear...to Germans: "Small dogs belong on the floor and larger dogs need to be kept in a harness or in the boot," he said.
Now, as a stupid American, I fail to understand why putting a dog in boots would make it more secure, but hey - to each his own. For those who wish to invest in puppy boots, here's a link: dog boots. Tee hee.
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Sumo Goats: The Stuff of Nightmares
While many people know goats to be rather docile creatures, suitable for petting zoos across the nation and relatively stupid, organizers of the traditional Goat Sumo Ceremonies in Motobu, Okinawa, know otherwise.
Sumo managers state that goats become downright mean and aggressive when put in a tiny wrestling ring facing each other. And hundreds of people are flocking to Motobu to watch the spectacle as you read this. Reports are that the Goat Sumo bouts can last up to 15 minutes or so, unless one of the goats runs away early. Should they both make it through the whole bout, the winner is declared based upon the number of times it slammed its horns against the loser. Then, after the bouts, the sumo goats go take a rest to compose themselves. Whew!
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Istanbul (Not Constantinople)/ Mojito (Not Richland)
Mojito (Beverage):
Ingredients:
3 fresh Mint sprigs
2 tsp Sugar
3 tblsp Lemon juice (or lime), fresh
1 1/2 oz Light rum
Club soda, Chilled
Mixing instructions:
In a tall thin glass, crush part of the mint with a fork to coat the inside. Add the sugar and lemon juice and stir thoroughly. Top with ice. Add rum and mix. Top off with the club soda (or seltzer). Add a lemon slice and the remaining mint. Serves one.
Mojito (New Jersey):
Ingredients:
1 donation of $5000 from Bacardi to the town
1 character on Sex in the City ordering a Mojito
1 seriously odd group of townspeople.
Richland New Jersey has renamed itself 'Mojito'. Because they can.
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Glenn McMillen has today contributed this little nugget:
Gas for free. CooOOOOoool.
A cool computer glitch occurred in Pittsfield Township, Michigan this week. Turns out that somehow gas pump customers could swipe their drivers' licenses in the pumps and still have gas doled out - presumably for free! Bummer is, by swiping their drivers licenses, the 107 or so culprits (most of whom are college students from the area) have been easily identified and are being hunted down like the lying, thieving, snot-nosed, gas-stealing bastards that they really are! HA! Crime doesn't pay, young people, crime does not pay.
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Ugh. Won't Janet's Nipple Just Go Away?
Janet Jackson has accused the US Government of Wagging the Dog...or the Nipple as the case may be. "The government needed something to divert attention away from important problems regarding foreign affairs," said Janet to the Financial Times Germany.
"They simply needed a distraction - and they found that in me. It could have been anyone, but they picked me. That is really alarming," said Jackson.
"It shows you that we desperately need a Democrat as President," she said.
Well, then. Okey Dokey.
Monday, May 03, 2004
Another Reason Canadians Really Shouldn't Be Driving
Gilles Francoeur of Quebec told the courts that he felt some sort of impact when he was driving along last year. His windshield broke, and he noticed SOMETHING in the passenger seat beside him. He tried to convince the courts that he thought it was a deployed airbag.
So sad that it was actually the body of an 18 year old whose life he had extinguished with his car. He said that he didn't realize it was a human body until after he had gone home, hung out in the house for a while, and then was going out again.
It was then that he realized that it was a human body shoved through the windshield instead of a pillow-case kind of thingy. Perhaps the legs and blood were a give-away at that point.
Gilles gets to think about the differences between a balloon and a human for the next 3.5 years while he's in prison.
Gilles Francoeur of Quebec told the courts that he felt some sort of impact when he was driving along last year. His windshield broke, and he noticed SOMETHING in the passenger seat beside him. He tried to convince the courts that he thought it was a deployed airbag.
So sad that it was actually the body of an 18 year old whose life he had extinguished with his car. He said that he didn't realize it was a human body until after he had gone home, hung out in the house for a while, and then was going out again.
It was then that he realized that it was a human body shoved through the windshield instead of a pillow-case kind of thingy. Perhaps the legs and blood were a give-away at that point.
Gilles gets to think about the differences between a balloon and a human for the next 3.5 years while he's in prison.
Today in History: May 3, 1988 - The White House acknowledged that first lady Nancy Reagan had used astrological advice to help schedule her husband's activities.
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From Oft-Neglected Mid Atlantic Chief Correspondent Glenn McMillen...
Sweden Has An Endangered Monster?
All Magnus Cedergren wanted to do was hunt down and hatch some Lake Monster eggs to raise monster babies, was that too much to ask?!? Apparently so, according to the 'environment court' in Sweden. You can't just go around hunting Lake Monster eggs! Lake Monsters, since 1986, have been on the Endangered Species List and therefore are protected.
Local nature preserve documents clearly state: "it is prohibited to kill, hurt or catch animals of the Storsjoe monster species," or "take away or hurt the monster's eggs, roe or den." The Storsjoe monster has been bopping around in the lake for some 400+ years. About 500 people say they've seen the creature with its long snaky body and canine or feline head and fins on its neck.
But nobody thought to bring a camera, so...well...who knows.
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HELLO! My Name Is AGENT STUPID
On April 9th, a Federal DEA agent was giving a gun safety presentation to a crowd of about 50 adults and students in Orlando FL, and REALLY got his point across about accidental shootings. By accidentally shooting himself in the leg during the demo.
Bucky drew out his .40-caliber duty weapon and asked an audience member to look inside the gun and confirm it was not loaded. Mistake number one. Joe Audience said all looked nice and empty, and the agent released the slide. Mistake number 2. A bullet exploded out of the weapon and into his left thigh. Ouch!
In spite of the screaming and crying children, many parents were not unhappy with the display. As Vivian Farmer said, "Everyone was pretty shaken up. But the point of gun safety hit home. Unfortunately, the agent had to get shot."
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Stupid is as Stupid Does
In Columbia, MO, some of the braintrust in the Kappa Alpha fraternity were trying to fill up a decorative antique cannon that was on their front lawn with fireworks. Imagine their surprise when the ancient cannon they were using as a rocket launcher broke apart and hurtled through the air, across the street, and BAM! through the roof of an apartment building before settling on a pingpong table on the 4th floor of said building.
Two members of the fraternity at the University of Missouri-Columbia were arrested. The national Kappa Alpha fraternity said Missouri's chapter president and vice president were facing charges.
Official Statement from the fratty rat executive director, Larry Wiese: "KA deeply regrets the actions taken by certain member of the chapter which violate our regulations and policy. KA policy prohibits the possession or firing or any type of firearms on fraternity property."
Reportedly, the phone at the fraternity rang unanswered Friday night.
Probably cause they're all a bunch of scaredy girly boys.
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Now This is Taking "Splash Day" a Bit Too Far
It was Splash Day, and the Austin Tavern Guild was hosting an on-the-lake party on a rented barge. So the floating barge in Lake Travis was passing a nudist beach, and the passengers all wanted to get a good gander at the nekkie bodies. Quick thinkers that they are, the 60 revelers raced over to one side of the double decker barge to rubber neck. Not surprisingly, the barge tilted and sank, sending all 60 partiers into the 50 foot deep water off of Hippie Hollow, the only public nude beach in Texas.
Everyone previously aboard the barge has been accounted for.
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From Oft-Neglected Mid Atlantic Chief Correspondent Glenn McMillen...
Sweden Has An Endangered Monster?
All Magnus Cedergren wanted to do was hunt down and hatch some Lake Monster eggs to raise monster babies, was that too much to ask?!? Apparently so, according to the 'environment court' in Sweden. You can't just go around hunting Lake Monster eggs! Lake Monsters, since 1986, have been on the Endangered Species List and therefore are protected.
Local nature preserve documents clearly state: "it is prohibited to kill, hurt or catch animals of the Storsjoe monster species," or "take away or hurt the monster's eggs, roe or den." The Storsjoe monster has been bopping around in the lake for some 400+ years. About 500 people say they've seen the creature with its long snaky body and canine or feline head and fins on its neck.
But nobody thought to bring a camera, so...well...who knows.
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HELLO! My Name Is AGENT STUPID
On April 9th, a Federal DEA agent was giving a gun safety presentation to a crowd of about 50 adults and students in Orlando FL, and REALLY got his point across about accidental shootings. By accidentally shooting himself in the leg during the demo.
Bucky drew out his .40-caliber duty weapon and asked an audience member to look inside the gun and confirm it was not loaded. Mistake number one. Joe Audience said all looked nice and empty, and the agent released the slide. Mistake number 2. A bullet exploded out of the weapon and into his left thigh. Ouch!
In spite of the screaming and crying children, many parents were not unhappy with the display. As Vivian Farmer said, "Everyone was pretty shaken up. But the point of gun safety hit home. Unfortunately, the agent had to get shot."
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Stupid is as Stupid Does
In Columbia, MO, some of the braintrust in the Kappa Alpha fraternity were trying to fill up a decorative antique cannon that was on their front lawn with fireworks. Imagine their surprise when the ancient cannon they were using as a rocket launcher broke apart and hurtled through the air, across the street, and BAM! through the roof of an apartment building before settling on a pingpong table on the 4th floor of said building.
Two members of the fraternity at the University of Missouri-Columbia were arrested. The national Kappa Alpha fraternity said Missouri's chapter president and vice president were facing charges.
Official Statement from the fratty rat executive director, Larry Wiese: "KA deeply regrets the actions taken by certain member of the chapter which violate our regulations and policy. KA policy prohibits the possession or firing or any type of firearms on fraternity property."
Reportedly, the phone at the fraternity rang unanswered Friday night.
Probably cause they're all a bunch of scaredy girly boys.
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Now This is Taking "Splash Day" a Bit Too Far
It was Splash Day, and the Austin Tavern Guild was hosting an on-the-lake party on a rented barge. So the floating barge in Lake Travis was passing a nudist beach, and the passengers all wanted to get a good gander at the nekkie bodies. Quick thinkers that they are, the 60 revelers raced over to one side of the double decker barge to rubber neck. Not surprisingly, the barge tilted and sank, sending all 60 partiers into the 50 foot deep water off of Hippie Hollow, the only public nude beach in Texas.
Everyone previously aboard the barge has been accounted for.
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