Friday, January 21, 2005
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Today in History: January 20 Alan Hale Jr, "Skipper", dead of thymus cancer. And he never got off that dagnabbit island, either.
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Link of the Day: http://www.trygve.com/viagra.html Viagra for Windows. Just silly and wrong.
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Getting Out of Jury Duty
Poor defense attorney Leslie Ballin had a rough time trying to get a jury built for a recent case. The Tennessee lawyer was working on a trial involving a woman accused of hitting her brother's girlfriend in the face with a brick. When meeting up with the jury pool, Leslie was presented with the following non-team-players:
-- one dude who just got up and left, declaring "I'm on morphine and I'm higher than a kite."
-- another dude who announced that he had been arrested and taken to a mental hospital some time ago. Seems that when his nephew wouldn't come out from under the bed, dude tried to shoot him.
-- another one who was disqualified for having been arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover cop.
-- and this dude: he said that maybe he shouldn't be selected because "In my neighborhood, everyone knows that if you get Mr. Ballin (as your lawyer), you're probably guilty."
Oh, chickie did get a not-guilty verdict from the final jury.
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Gargantuan Baby Born
Francisca Ramos dos Santos, of Sao Paulo Brazil, needs to return any infant clothes she received at her baby shower. She has just given birth to a monstrously large child: 16.7 pound Ademilton.
"Obviously the baby was born by caesarean section," hospital director Rita Leal said. "Both mother and baby are doing just fine."
'Nuff said. Wow.
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Boy stuck to a pole
A silly 9 year old boy in Wytheville, VA, couldn't take it any longer the other day at the bus stop. So he stuck out his tongue and tapped it against a metal pole. Where of course it stuck. Kiddo stayed stuck to the pole for a while, waiting for his dad to bring some warm water to break the hold. When asked by a local cop if he was going to try this again, kiddo said "uh-uh".
Good boy.
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That Stinks!
Stabburet is a producer of canned fish in Fredrikstad, Norway. One of their specialties is canned mackerel filets in tomato sauce, lovingly nicknamed "Plane Crash" because of the shiny fishies in the blood red liquid. In the processing of Plane Crash, a special heating technique is used to preserve the fish. Someone accidentally missed 1650 cans though. So the little fishies were rotting in their cans. Last week, the pressure inside the cans finally got too be too much and BAM! Fishies and Guts and Tomato Sauce EXPLODED in the warehouse. SCHTIIIIIIINKY! Official word: "It was a highly unfortunate accident."
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Goodbye, Lucky
Two years ago while out walking, Billy Gibbons found a chicken ~~ a chicken near certain death. Billy rescued the chicken, and brought it home to roost. Billy named the chicken Lucky and was pleased to see it thrive under his love and care. One day, Lucky came across a calculator and tapped five numbers into it. So Billy played those numbers in the lottery and won!
What a special chicken!
Billy loved the chicken dearly up until last week, when he forgot to lock Lucky's coop.
And a fox ate Lucky.
Billy has already finished mourning and is moving on with is life, trying to train his surviving hens how to pick out winning lottery numbers. Sadly, Billy states, "It's not quite the same."
So sad.
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Today in History: January 20 Alan Hale Jr, "Skipper", dead of thymus cancer. And he never got off that dagnabbit island, either.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Link of the Day: http://www.trygve.com/viagra.html Viagra for Windows. Just silly and wrong.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Getting Out of Jury Duty
Poor defense attorney Leslie Ballin had a rough time trying to get a jury built for a recent case. The Tennessee lawyer was working on a trial involving a woman accused of hitting her brother's girlfriend in the face with a brick. When meeting up with the jury pool, Leslie was presented with the following non-team-players:
-- one dude who just got up and left, declaring "I'm on morphine and I'm higher than a kite."
-- another dude who announced that he had been arrested and taken to a mental hospital some time ago. Seems that when his nephew wouldn't come out from under the bed, dude tried to shoot him.
-- another one who was disqualified for having been arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover cop.
-- and this dude: he said that maybe he shouldn't be selected because "In my neighborhood, everyone knows that if you get Mr. Ballin (as your lawyer), you're probably guilty."
Oh, chickie did get a not-guilty verdict from the final jury.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Gargantuan Baby Born
Francisca Ramos dos Santos, of Sao Paulo Brazil, needs to return any infant clothes she received at her baby shower. She has just given birth to a monstrously large child: 16.7 pound Ademilton.
"Obviously the baby was born by caesarean section," hospital director Rita Leal said. "Both mother and baby are doing just fine."
'Nuff said. Wow.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Boy stuck to a pole
A silly 9 year old boy in Wytheville, VA, couldn't take it any longer the other day at the bus stop. So he stuck out his tongue and tapped it against a metal pole. Where of course it stuck. Kiddo stayed stuck to the pole for a while, waiting for his dad to bring some warm water to break the hold. When asked by a local cop if he was going to try this again, kiddo said "uh-uh".
Good boy.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
That Stinks!
Stabburet is a producer of canned fish in Fredrikstad, Norway. One of their specialties is canned mackerel filets in tomato sauce, lovingly nicknamed "Plane Crash" because of the shiny fishies in the blood red liquid. In the processing of Plane Crash, a special heating technique is used to preserve the fish. Someone accidentally missed 1650 cans though. So the little fishies were rotting in their cans. Last week, the pressure inside the cans finally got too be too much and BAM! Fishies and Guts and Tomato Sauce EXPLODED in the warehouse. SCHTIIIIIIINKY! Official word: "It was a highly unfortunate accident."
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Goodbye, Lucky
Two years ago while out walking, Billy Gibbons found a chicken ~~ a chicken near certain death. Billy rescued the chicken, and brought it home to roost. Billy named the chicken Lucky and was pleased to see it thrive under his love and care. One day, Lucky came across a calculator and tapped five numbers into it. So Billy played those numbers in the lottery and won!
What a special chicken!
Billy loved the chicken dearly up until last week, when he forgot to lock Lucky's coop.
And a fox ate Lucky.
Billy has already finished mourning and is moving on with is life, trying to train his surviving hens how to pick out winning lottery numbers. Sadly, Billy states, "It's not quite the same."
So sad.
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