Saturday, September 25, 2004
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Link of the day: For those out searching for love in all the wrong places, here's 'online dating with a difference'!
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Death of a Language
In China there is a language - Nushu - which is 400 years old and used exclusively by women. Their secret language, as it were. Well, the secret is getting a bit deeper...Yang Huanyi just died, and Yang was the last woman on earth who ONLY spoke Nushu. Because she was illiterate in any other language, her death signified the End of Nushu. Manuscripts of the language don't generally exist because they traditionally were burnt or buried with the dead.
No more Nushu. So sad. :-(
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They Said It Couldn't Be Done
HA! This guy from Branson, MO, has had his name legally changed. It used to be Andrew Wilson. It now is They. No surname. Just - They.
They said that he thought it would be funny: "'They do this,' or 'They're to blame for that.' Who is this 'they' everyone talks about? 'They' accomplish such great things. Somebody had to take responsibility,"
Grammar freaks might have issues with it. By virtue of the new name, They is making sentences sound funny.
They is a freakin' genius.
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Poultry For Planes Deal Fails Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra needs to take a hint. First he tried to negotiate a chickens-for-arms deal with Russia. It failed.
Now he's trying to do a chickens-for-jet fighters deal with Sweden. Sadly for him, Sweden doesn't want his chicken either.
Thaksin has lots n lots of raw chickens, and doesn't 'get' the resistance Sweden is showing: "We would prefer to have a counter trade, instead of paying cash up front," Thaksin said. Thaksin also states that Thailand has a 'huge inventory' of raw chicken meat all over the country in warehouses, and the government is simply doing "whatever to help chicken farmers sell their chicken meat".
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Prostitute soccer girls banned
The Red Light district of Guatemala has put together a soccer team, the Stars of the Line, made up of prostitutes who work there. They practice, they do their drills, and they enter tournament competition. And now they have been kicked out - not because of their lack of soccer skills, but rather because of the other skills they exercise.
The SoL were ejected from their most recent tournament, with the reason given: the use of foul language from the team's fans. At issue was the use of a cheer: "One, two, three, whore!"
Officials weren't amused, and as one of the SoLs said "they tossed us out like cockroaches."
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Marry Her: Or Else!
A 22 year old guy in Monterrey, Mexico, was dating a hot 16 year old. Then she somehow got pregnant, so they broke up. Well, that didn't set too well with the dumpee. So she, her mom, her sister, and her aunt waited for him outside of work Tuesday and kidnapped him!
Word has it that the angry women took the cocky young man to their house and told him that he could not leave until he married the jailbait. They were detained by police when they attempted to get collect his birth certificate and money for a civil marriage, but charges were dropped the next day when the prosecutors couldn't find proof that they kidnapped bucky.
Note: no statutory rape charges have been filed against the stud.
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Some Very Painful News
It pains me to report that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey are, well, on the rocks. Word on the street is that Nick doesn't believe he gets enough respect from Jessica's family regarding his career (does he have a career? What's he do?). He also is rumored to have said that her parents aren't even nice to him.
Nick's rep denies it all. Let us just hope that in these troubled times this ONE star that is their marriage will continue to shine, reminding us that there is good in this world.
Link of the day: For those out searching for love in all the wrong places, here's 'online dating with a difference'!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Death of a Language
In China there is a language - Nushu - which is 400 years old and used exclusively by women. Their secret language, as it were. Well, the secret is getting a bit deeper...Yang Huanyi just died, and Yang was the last woman on earth who ONLY spoke Nushu. Because she was illiterate in any other language, her death signified the End of Nushu. Manuscripts of the language don't generally exist because they traditionally were burnt or buried with the dead.
No more Nushu. So sad. :-(
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
They Said It Couldn't Be Done
HA! This guy from Branson, MO, has had his name legally changed. It used to be Andrew Wilson. It now is They. No surname. Just - They.
They said that he thought it would be funny: "'They do this,' or 'They're to blame for that.' Who is this 'they' everyone talks about? 'They' accomplish such great things. Somebody had to take responsibility,"
Grammar freaks might have issues with it. By virtue of the new name, They is making sentences sound funny.
They is a freakin' genius.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Poultry For Planes Deal Fails Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra needs to take a hint. First he tried to negotiate a chickens-for-arms deal with Russia. It failed.
Now he's trying to do a chickens-for-jet fighters deal with Sweden. Sadly for him, Sweden doesn't want his chicken either.
Thaksin has lots n lots of raw chickens, and doesn't 'get' the resistance Sweden is showing: "We would prefer to have a counter trade, instead of paying cash up front," Thaksin said. Thaksin also states that Thailand has a 'huge inventory' of raw chicken meat all over the country in warehouses, and the government is simply doing "whatever to help chicken farmers sell their chicken meat".
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Prostitute soccer girls banned
The Red Light district of Guatemala has put together a soccer team, the Stars of the Line, made up of prostitutes who work there. They practice, they do their drills, and they enter tournament competition. And now they have been kicked out - not because of their lack of soccer skills, but rather because of the other skills they exercise.
The SoL were ejected from their most recent tournament, with the reason given: the use of foul language from the team's fans. At issue was the use of a cheer: "One, two, three, whore!"
Officials weren't amused, and as one of the SoLs said "they tossed us out like cockroaches."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Marry Her: Or Else!
A 22 year old guy in Monterrey, Mexico, was dating a hot 16 year old. Then she somehow got pregnant, so they broke up. Well, that didn't set too well with the dumpee. So she, her mom, her sister, and her aunt waited for him outside of work Tuesday and kidnapped him!
Word has it that the angry women took the cocky young man to their house and told him that he could not leave until he married the jailbait. They were detained by police when they attempted to get collect his birth certificate and money for a civil marriage, but charges were dropped the next day when the prosecutors couldn't find proof that they kidnapped bucky.
Note: no statutory rape charges have been filed against the stud.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Some Very Painful News
It pains me to report that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey are, well, on the rocks. Word on the street is that Nick doesn't believe he gets enough respect from Jessica's family regarding his career (does he have a career? What's he do?). He also is rumored to have said that her parents aren't even nice to him.
Nick's rep denies it all. Let us just hope that in these troubled times this ONE star that is their marriage will continue to shine, reminding us that there is good in this world.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
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Link of the Day: What can I say? http://www.saintclinton.com/
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From Harold "I said a really disgusting thing about monkeys when I forwarded this to Beth" Friedline:
Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder
So the other day a 68 year old Malaysian woman used a ladder to climb into her mangosteen tree to pick some fruit for her loving husband. Thoughtful, eh?
Hubby saw her figure in the tree. And shot and killed her. Because he mistook her for...a monkey.
No fruit for you!
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Weebles Wobble But They Don't...
Some students attending Thaur primary school in Austria are testing new chairs that supposedly will keep them awake. Called the 'Werner-Pircher-Wobble-Chairs', they wobble about when students are wriggling and they don't even collapse! They also do not provide a steady support as needed when falling asleep in class, bouncing the children awake prior to full dozing.
Well then.
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Now if That's Not a Sign
Maddalena Camillo has met her maker, and met Him head-on.
Seems Maddalena was watching workers setting up lights for an annual religious festival when KABOOM a three-metre tall metal crucifix BAM slammed into her head.
Bang. You're dead.
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Blind man kills noisy deaf man
Blind Guy George Goeldner lived in a center for the blind in Brisbane, Australia. So too did Deaf Prosthetic Leg Guy Francis Butcher.
Being deaf, Franny liked his music loud. Being blind, George heard the sounds even better than a sighted person.
George complained a lot to staff at the center about that damned loud music Franny was always playing. It was not a secret that he didn't like it.
Then one day, George and his Power Ears heard Franny telling a staff member that he was going to have a great weekend. Translated: "I'm gonna blast my music until the walls rattle." George grabbed a serrated kitchen knife and ran out to Franny to talk some sense to the man.
Heck, Franny was even given headphones - but he wouldn't use them because they were uncomfortable. I bet the kitchen knife George shoved into his throat was more uncomfortable.
George was sentenced to 8 years in prison Monday. The jury didn't really buy his alibi that Franny slipped into the knife.
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Ozzy Osbourne has vowed to stop swearing for charity.
So Ozzy Osbourne is raising money for the UK charity Children in Need by not cursing for 24 hours. How indeed his being gagged with black tape and not swearing is going to help the children, I don't know.
But he's doing it, and I thought it was pretty fuckin' important to tell you.
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Seniors on Scooters overtake small town
The elderly and disabled folks in Paintsville, KY, were thrilled to learn that the government (by way of Medicare) would buy them motorized scooters. Now they could be mobile! They could race out of their homes and down to the local Wal-Mart! They could zip along the highways and biways to get just about anywhere!
At 3 miles per hour.
So many of the elderly and disabled are now roaming Paintsville on their scooters and motorized wheelchairs that the sidewalk-less town of 4,000 is in a constant state of gridlock. Folks who drive cars are mad at the sluggish septuagenarians. The seniors are miffed at those crazy kids in their souped up cars.
Said an angry motorist: "These aren't like little motorcycles -- they shouldn't have to be on the roads."
Not that the scooterists don't agree. It's downright scary to have the trucks and cars and pedestrians whizzing by them at amazing speeds.
Surprisingly, only one scooter rider has been hurt in traffic, that being 47 year old Vickie Whittaker who was bumped by a car earlier this summer. She and other scooterists are lobbying to get sidewalks put in place.
They're feeling ignored, though. As Vickie said, "Obviously, they don't care if we get where we're going or if we get killed going there."
Grrr.
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Police Seize 388 Guns from One Man
Wayne Wright was arrested by poilce for illegally selling a weapon to an undercover officer in Los Angeles. After arresting him, cops went on over to Simi Valley and checked out his house. There they found 376 firearms which, when added to the 11 from his car and the 1 sold, totals up to 388 weapons: 40 more than were recovered from the entire city last year.
Wayne had rifles, shotguns, handguns, assault weapons, thousands of rounds of ammunition, you name it. The LAPD says that Wayne is not a licensed gun dealer and MAY HAVE been engaged in illegal gun trafficking.
Ya think?
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Link of the Day: What can I say? http://www.saintclinton.com/
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From Harold "I said a really disgusting thing about monkeys when I forwarded this to Beth" Friedline:
Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder
So the other day a 68 year old Malaysian woman used a ladder to climb into her mangosteen tree to pick some fruit for her loving husband. Thoughtful, eh?
Hubby saw her figure in the tree. And shot and killed her. Because he mistook her for...a monkey.
No fruit for you!
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Weebles Wobble But They Don't...
Some students attending Thaur primary school in Austria are testing new chairs that supposedly will keep them awake. Called the 'Werner-Pircher-Wobble-Chairs', they wobble about when students are wriggling and they don't even collapse! They also do not provide a steady support as needed when falling asleep in class, bouncing the children awake prior to full dozing.
Well then.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Now if That's Not a Sign
Maddalena Camillo has met her maker, and met Him head-on.
Seems Maddalena was watching workers setting up lights for an annual religious festival when KABOOM a three-metre tall metal crucifix BAM slammed into her head.
Bang. You're dead.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Blind man kills noisy deaf man
Blind Guy George Goeldner lived in a center for the blind in Brisbane, Australia. So too did Deaf Prosthetic Leg Guy Francis Butcher.
Being deaf, Franny liked his music loud. Being blind, George heard the sounds even better than a sighted person.
George complained a lot to staff at the center about that damned loud music Franny was always playing. It was not a secret that he didn't like it.
Then one day, George and his Power Ears heard Franny telling a staff member that he was going to have a great weekend. Translated: "I'm gonna blast my music until the walls rattle." George grabbed a serrated kitchen knife and ran out to Franny to talk some sense to the man.
Heck, Franny was even given headphones - but he wouldn't use them because they were uncomfortable. I bet the kitchen knife George shoved into his throat was more uncomfortable.
George was sentenced to 8 years in prison Monday. The jury didn't really buy his alibi that Franny slipped into the knife.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Ozzy Osbourne has vowed to stop swearing for charity.
So Ozzy Osbourne is raising money for the UK charity Children in Need by not cursing for 24 hours. How indeed his being gagged with black tape and not swearing is going to help the children, I don't know.
But he's doing it, and I thought it was pretty fuckin' important to tell you.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Seniors on Scooters overtake small town
The elderly and disabled folks in Paintsville, KY, were thrilled to learn that the government (by way of Medicare) would buy them motorized scooters. Now they could be mobile! They could race out of their homes and down to the local Wal-Mart! They could zip along the highways and biways to get just about anywhere!
At 3 miles per hour.
So many of the elderly and disabled are now roaming Paintsville on their scooters and motorized wheelchairs that the sidewalk-less town of 4,000 is in a constant state of gridlock. Folks who drive cars are mad at the sluggish septuagenarians. The seniors are miffed at those crazy kids in their souped up cars.
Said an angry motorist: "These aren't like little motorcycles -- they shouldn't have to be on the roads."
Not that the scooterists don't agree. It's downright scary to have the trucks and cars and pedestrians whizzing by them at amazing speeds.
Surprisingly, only one scooter rider has been hurt in traffic, that being 47 year old Vickie Whittaker who was bumped by a car earlier this summer. She and other scooterists are lobbying to get sidewalks put in place.
They're feeling ignored, though. As Vickie said, "Obviously, they don't care if we get where we're going or if we get killed going there."
Grrr.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Police Seize 388 Guns from One Man
Wayne Wright was arrested by poilce for illegally selling a weapon to an undercover officer in Los Angeles. After arresting him, cops went on over to Simi Valley and checked out his house. There they found 376 firearms which, when added to the 11 from his car and the 1 sold, totals up to 388 weapons: 40 more than were recovered from the entire city last year.
Wayne had rifles, shotguns, handguns, assault weapons, thousands of rounds of ammunition, you name it. The LAPD says that Wayne is not a licensed gun dealer and MAY HAVE been engaged in illegal gun trafficking.
Ya think?
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Tuesday, September 21, 2004
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For those sinners out there who just don't have time for church... http://runningpress.com/bookstore/product.asp?sku=918
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Smoking Can Be Deadly
Ricardo Leon was hanging out at Partners Pub in Cleveland OH the other night. Another guy at the bar asked to bum a cigarette. Ricky said 'No".
So the guy took Ricky outside into the street and beat him to death (all caught on a helpful witness's videotape).
Those danged Ohioans.
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Another freak.
Ilie Verdas is the principal of the GG Lovinescu High School in Focsani. He heard rumors that some kids who went to school there planned to put a spell on him. So he has had a huge honkin' cross built and set in the playground to protect himself from this evil. Boo!
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Lost n Found
Last October Nigeria's navy seized the Russian oil tanker 'MT African Pride' (along with 13 Russian sailors), on suspicion of smuggling. And now they can't find the darned thing anywhere! They also can't seem to locate the MT Jimoh, also seized for oil theft.
So if anyone has seen a huge oil tanker or two, laden with crude oil, just kind of sitting around somewhere, please call Nigeria's navy. They'll appreciate it.
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Goats-for-Wife Scam
Hey gang! Whatever you do, don't fall for this old trick! This dude Diamantino from Portugal made a deal with a man who promised that he would provide a 22 year old hottie wife in exchange for 15 goats and $3,000. Diamantino, romantic that he is, gave up his livestock and his money and sat patiently waiting at his house for his hottie.
And waiting. And waiting.
After a few months of this, it dawned on Diamantino that his hottie was never coming! That his goats were gone! That his MONEY was gone! And that he, yes HE, was in fact an idiot and the victim of a scam!
So he grabbed up his weapons and locked himself inside a garage, demanding either a hot chick or his money back OR ELSE.
Cops talked him down from his frenzied state, and held him in jail for a few hours.
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Contributed by the One and Only Lord Mutter
Save the banana!
Because we've bred the seeds out of the bananas that we're so fond of, they lack genetic diversity - each new planting is a clipping of a previous crop. These genetically 'lacking' bananas can't keep up with the times and are susceptible to disease. Scientists predict that if we can't engineer a banana that is resistant to disease that we may see their extinction in the next 10 years.
Oops.
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Save the kittens, too!
Frankly, I was shocked to learn that so few of you know what horrible things can happen to kittens as a result of a person's selfish indulgences. So, be advised. And help save the kittens.
http://www.hosstyle.com/kittens.htm
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WAKE UP!
Bulgarian college student Mircea Colonescu had a rude awakening at the American University of Bulgaria the other evening. He and roomie Cosmin Haraga had laid down for a good night's sleep in their dormitory bunk beds. Suddenly, Cosmin's bed started creaking...creaking...falling...and BAM! Smashed Mircea sleeping below.
Mircea had head injuries and had to be taken to the hospital. Turns out the bunk beds at the university were not supported by bolts, but rather by nails. The college plans to fix that. And sometime soon they plan to replace Cosmin and Mircea's beds too.
Er. Whoops.
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For those sinners out there who just don't have time for church... http://runningpress.com/bookstore/product.asp?sku=918
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Smoking Can Be Deadly
Ricardo Leon was hanging out at Partners Pub in Cleveland OH the other night. Another guy at the bar asked to bum a cigarette. Ricky said 'No".
So the guy took Ricky outside into the street and beat him to death (all caught on a helpful witness's videotape).
Those danged Ohioans.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Another freak.
Ilie Verdas is the principal of the GG Lovinescu High School in Focsani. He heard rumors that some kids who went to school there planned to put a spell on him. So he has had a huge honkin' cross built and set in the playground to protect himself from this evil. Boo!
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Lost n Found
Last October Nigeria's navy seized the Russian oil tanker 'MT African Pride' (along with 13 Russian sailors), on suspicion of smuggling. And now they can't find the darned thing anywhere! They also can't seem to locate the MT Jimoh, also seized for oil theft.
So if anyone has seen a huge oil tanker or two, laden with crude oil, just kind of sitting around somewhere, please call Nigeria's navy. They'll appreciate it.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Goats-for-Wife Scam
Hey gang! Whatever you do, don't fall for this old trick! This dude Diamantino from Portugal made a deal with a man who promised that he would provide a 22 year old hottie wife in exchange for 15 goats and $3,000. Diamantino, romantic that he is, gave up his livestock and his money and sat patiently waiting at his house for his hottie.
And waiting. And waiting.
After a few months of this, it dawned on Diamantino that his hottie was never coming! That his goats were gone! That his MONEY was gone! And that he, yes HE, was in fact an idiot and the victim of a scam!
So he grabbed up his weapons and locked himself inside a garage, demanding either a hot chick or his money back OR ELSE.
Cops talked him down from his frenzied state, and held him in jail for a few hours.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Contributed by the One and Only Lord Mutter
Save the banana!
Because we've bred the seeds out of the bananas that we're so fond of, they lack genetic diversity - each new planting is a clipping of a previous crop. These genetically 'lacking' bananas can't keep up with the times and are susceptible to disease. Scientists predict that if we can't engineer a banana that is resistant to disease that we may see their extinction in the next 10 years.
Oops.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Save the kittens, too!
Frankly, I was shocked to learn that so few of you know what horrible things can happen to kittens as a result of a person's selfish indulgences. So, be advised. And help save the kittens.
http://www.hosstyle.com/kittens.htm
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
WAKE UP!
Bulgarian college student Mircea Colonescu had a rude awakening at the American University of Bulgaria the other evening. He and roomie Cosmin Haraga had laid down for a good night's sleep in their dormitory bunk beds. Suddenly, Cosmin's bed started creaking...creaking...falling...and BAM! Smashed Mircea sleeping below.
Mircea had head injuries and had to be taken to the hospital. Turns out the bunk beds at the university were not supported by bolts, but rather by nails. The college plans to fix that. And sometime soon they plan to replace Cosmin and Mircea's beds too.
Er. Whoops.
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Monday, September 20, 2004
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Link O The Day: http://myhighhorse.com/ An 8500 calorie Sandwich. Yummers!
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I was going to try the talk like a pirate (observed) thing today. But it's too exhausting. So here. Some be in pyrate. Some be not. Life goes on.
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AK47 spinoff product
Want a good beverage to go with your AK-47? Lieutenant General Mikail Kalashnikov, inventor of the popular weapon, has created a world-class vodka to enable him to "improve and expand on the good name of my weapon by doing good things."
Kalashnikov says his vodka is better than any other vodka out there and is made from "grain harvested in Russia and water drawn from Lake Ladoga north of St Petersburg". It is, he says, best drunk with friends.
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Camanche IA. Clowns.*shudder*
Twas an eve dark and unnatural when Eric Dau and his wench Sherrise came upon their mobile home in Camanche. Row upon row of 14 inch Ronald McDonald dolls were lined across the center of a half dozen roads in their mobile home park. Word is there were 500 or so full sized Ronald McDonal dolls filling the roads.
"It was so scary, all those Ronald McDonalds staring at us in our headlights. It gave us a very, very funny feeling. If you hadn’t seen them with your own eyes, you wouldn’t believe it," Eric says.
Two people were spotted picking up some of the dolls, and were verbally accosted by Eric. "What’s this all about?" he demanded. They claimed they were merely pulling the dolls in to keep them safe from the expected rains that night.
Eric and Sherrise, shaken and stirred, retired for the night. When they awoke, the dolls - not the stuff of Happy Meals, but big fullsized clowns - were gone.
Spooky.
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Arrr 'tis a cruel world, crueler still when a man's attempt to kill himself goes awry. An Austrian snake dealer was most distraught and decided to walk his final gangplank with the help of a couple of cobras. As the snakes wrapped him in their coils, the drunkard sent a message to his girlfriend's cell phone announcing his exit from this earthly mortal coil. Meddelsome wench that she is, she called the police.
Police arrived to find the life being squeezed out of the man, who still put up a fight against the scurvy mates who tried to save him. So they hit him with pepper spray, shot him in the thigh, and watched as one of the snakes bit him.
Now t' snakes are in t'zoo, and t'man be under observation. And he still be breathin.
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T' fates were against Zoran Rabrenovic as well this weekend. Zoran had a fight with his parents, and was so upset he decided t' leap from his window 50 feet above t' earth and kill himself. Turns out a neighbor had parked under his window. Zoran landed on t' car, and just broke his leg and some ribs.
So says a passerby: ""I was walking past the car and heard a shout and then something hit the car. It just crumpled like cardboard. The man who had fallen lay there groaning and then sat up. It was amazing the way the Lada just disintegrated and softened the fall like a mattress."
Now t' car be in t' shop, and t' man be under observation. And he still be breathin.
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Way to Get Those Votes!
Martin Elliott may have made a bad move durin' a public "meet t' candidates" election meetin' in Hamilton, NZ. Marty wants t' be mayor, and was t'be thinkin' that sayin' his opponent has little in his pants would make him appear t' be t' .. Er .. Bigger man.
Word from Alvina Barrett, a wench in charge o't'meetin', is that Marty be walkin' up t'her and be askin' her if she supported Michael Redman (his opponent). Alvina told him that aye, aye she did. To which Marty responded that he be knowin' w'proof that Mike actually be havin' a 'little one', and wiggled his pinky finger to display just how small it be.
When asked by the press if in truth this exchange did happen, Marty replied Aye: "Of course I did, with a big smile on my face. I'm just blown away by this; this is just trivial...I see some really strong things in Michael Redman . . . (but) I think that Michael, at this stage of his life, hasn't got the big balls (to make key decisions for the city). I think my balls are bigger than his."
Alvina is still upset. As she be speakin',"Is it because I'm a Maori woman working in the Fairfield area that I can be spoken to like I'm a whore from Matamata?" Arrrrrrrr!
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Barbie store also has bondage gear
Mattel is mad at a drrrrty grrrl in Calgary. "Barbie's Shop" is owned and operated by Barbie Anderson, and sells 'alternative clothing'. Like gothic clothes, leather ensembles, latex binderies, bondage fun stuff, you know...Barbie clothes!
Mattel is suing Barbie, telling her that she needs not only to change her website address (the store's is barbiesshop.com and the doll's is barbieshop.com), but also change the name of her shop.
They have not yet insisted that she change her birth name.
Link O The Day: http://myhighhorse.com/ An 8500 calorie Sandwich. Yummers!
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I was going to try the talk like a pirate (observed) thing today. But it's too exhausting. So here. Some be in pyrate. Some be not. Life goes on.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
AK47 spinoff product
Want a good beverage to go with your AK-47? Lieutenant General Mikail Kalashnikov, inventor of the popular weapon, has created a world-class vodka to enable him to "improve and expand on the good name of my weapon by doing good things."
Kalashnikov says his vodka is better than any other vodka out there and is made from "grain harvested in Russia and water drawn from Lake Ladoga north of St Petersburg". It is, he says, best drunk with friends.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Camanche IA. Clowns.*shudder*
Twas an eve dark and unnatural when Eric Dau and his wench Sherrise came upon their mobile home in Camanche. Row upon row of 14 inch Ronald McDonald dolls were lined across the center of a half dozen roads in their mobile home park. Word is there were 500 or so full sized Ronald McDonal dolls filling the roads.
"It was so scary, all those Ronald McDonalds staring at us in our headlights. It gave us a very, very funny feeling. If you hadn’t seen them with your own eyes, you wouldn’t believe it," Eric says.
Two people were spotted picking up some of the dolls, and were verbally accosted by Eric. "What’s this all about?" he demanded. They claimed they were merely pulling the dolls in to keep them safe from the expected rains that night.
Eric and Sherrise, shaken and stirred, retired for the night. When they awoke, the dolls - not the stuff of Happy Meals, but big fullsized clowns - were gone.
Spooky.
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Arrr 'tis a cruel world, crueler still when a man's attempt to kill himself goes awry. An Austrian snake dealer was most distraught and decided to walk his final gangplank with the help of a couple of cobras. As the snakes wrapped him in their coils, the drunkard sent a message to his girlfriend's cell phone announcing his exit from this earthly mortal coil. Meddelsome wench that she is, she called the police.
Police arrived to find the life being squeezed out of the man, who still put up a fight against the scurvy mates who tried to save him. So they hit him with pepper spray, shot him in the thigh, and watched as one of the snakes bit him.
Now t' snakes are in t'zoo, and t'man be under observation. And he still be breathin.
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T' fates were against Zoran Rabrenovic as well this weekend. Zoran had a fight with his parents, and was so upset he decided t' leap from his window 50 feet above t' earth and kill himself. Turns out a neighbor had parked under his window. Zoran landed on t' car, and just broke his leg and some ribs.
So says a passerby: ""I was walking past the car and heard a shout and then something hit the car. It just crumpled like cardboard. The man who had fallen lay there groaning and then sat up. It was amazing the way the Lada just disintegrated and softened the fall like a mattress."
Now t' car be in t' shop, and t' man be under observation. And he still be breathin.
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Way to Get Those Votes!
Martin Elliott may have made a bad move durin' a public "meet t' candidates" election meetin' in Hamilton, NZ. Marty wants t' be mayor, and was t'be thinkin' that sayin' his opponent has little in his pants would make him appear t' be t' .. Er .. Bigger man.
Word from Alvina Barrett, a wench in charge o't'meetin', is that Marty be walkin' up t'her and be askin' her if she supported Michael Redman (his opponent). Alvina told him that aye, aye she did. To which Marty responded that he be knowin' w'proof that Mike actually be havin' a 'little one', and wiggled his pinky finger to display just how small it be.
When asked by the press if in truth this exchange did happen, Marty replied Aye: "Of course I did, with a big smile on my face. I'm just blown away by this; this is just trivial...I see some really strong things in Michael Redman . . . (but) I think that Michael, at this stage of his life, hasn't got the big balls (to make key decisions for the city). I think my balls are bigger than his."
Alvina is still upset. As she be speakin',"Is it because I'm a Maori woman working in the Fairfield area that I can be spoken to like I'm a whore from Matamata?" Arrrrrrrr!
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Barbie store also has bondage gear
Mattel is mad at a drrrrty grrrl in Calgary. "Barbie's Shop" is owned and operated by Barbie Anderson, and sells 'alternative clothing'. Like gothic clothes, leather ensembles, latex binderies, bondage fun stuff, you know...Barbie clothes!
Mattel is suing Barbie, telling her that she needs not only to change her website address (the store's is barbiesshop.com and the doll's is barbieshop.com), but also change the name of her shop.
They have not yet insisted that she change her birth name.
