Wednesday, September 01, 2004
Important Website: Stop the Abuse Before it Starts, PLEASE
I found this website, and frankly was chilled to the bone when I learned of the abuses that go on daily. I believe it is the obligation of each and every one of us to visit this website, become more educated, and share the important message within.
Please pay special attention to the 12 step program of healing. I believe we all can learn and grow from it. I know I certainly did.
An inspirational snippet:
ODE TO A LIFE OF PAIN
I dreamed I was a shopping cart,
cold and steel and mobile.
supporting cans and bottles and great big bags of kitty litter,
my job wasn't very noble.
Then one day felt I the storm
of children on my side.
They threw me on the railroad tracks
a train came and I died.
I found this website, and frankly was chilled to the bone when I learned of the abuses that go on daily. I believe it is the obligation of each and every one of us to visit this website, become more educated, and share the important message within.
Please pay special attention to the 12 step program of healing. I believe we all can learn and grow from it. I know I certainly did.
An inspirational snippet:
ODE TO A LIFE OF PAIN
I dreamed I was a shopping cart,
cold and steel and mobile.
supporting cans and bottles and great big bags of kitty litter,
my job wasn't very noble.
Then one day felt I the storm
of children on my side.
They threw me on the railroad tracks
a train came and I died.
Link of the Day:
Whoo Hoo! Latest Installation of Yeti Sports! Yeti Sports 6: Big Wave . This time, surf the waves & collect points by doing aerial jumps, kicking pingus and gaining style points. I stylized my way right off the freakin' screen...
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A Reminder: World Invasion to Occur This Month
(previously published missive item (July 19th, 2004) , worthy of repeating in the interest of world safety)
World Destruction Begins Sept. 29
Hey, if you have any unused vacation days, might want to schedule to take some time off prior to September 29th. According to Extra Terrestrial expert Dr Terry Johnson, that is the date that marks the beginning of the End of the World.
Dr Johnson warns that there is an earthquake scheduled for September 29th in Guadalajara, Mexico, and when it happens a huge spacecraft will slam into the fault line, causing a chain reaction that will result in "the ultimate destruction of the planet."
Numerous alien groups are conspiring to destroy Earth, says Doc Johnson, because "They're afraid of human creativity and our unique ways of problem solving."
Don't give up hope, though. See, many humans have already been abducted to other planets to serve as 'super computers' and they're working as a resistance force by learning how to fly UFO's.
Luckily, International Talk Like a Pirate Day is September 19th, so we don't have to worry about missing THAT special day.
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Smutty Candy!
St Blasien Jesuit College, near Bonn Germany, is up in arms over the sexy new wrappers on Haribo candies.
The angry Catholics have blasted Haribo, stating: "We are shocked at the shameless presentation of sexual practices on the wrapping, which includes not only sexual intercourse but also fellatio and cunnilingus."
The wrappers, pics of which are attached in this missive, show cute little lemons, limes, strawberries and other fruits playing happily. Or ARE they? The college says the displays are offensive pornography, especially the lemon flavor, which "undoubtedly show a green figure having sex with a lemon. The lemon, which from the drawing looks female, is obviously enjoying it with the greatest of pleasure."
A case of sour grapes, me thinks.
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Ouch.
An unidentified man in Albuquerque NM is singing a different tune now...one decidedly higher in pitch. Seems he was playing with his cuddly little pit bull Monday, and things went horribly awry. Details are sketchy but the end result was a naked male sans genitalia and a happy pit bull running around loose somewhere unbeknownst to authorities.
As a result of this emasculation, Gov Bill Richardson has decided that next year he will propose legislation to hold owners of 'dangerous dogs' accountable for their pets.
And their parts.
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Teacher ordered to give kid higher grades.
A poor little Bavarian girl didn't get accepted into a grammar school due to her poor grades. So sad. What's sadder still is what happened next.
Kiddo's parents decided that their daughter wasn't lacking in intelligence or attention skills but rather that the teacher was lacking in judgment and grading skills. So they sued her.
The case went to court under the allegations that the tests were unfairly phrased in an ambiguous way and therefore kiddo should get higher grades. The judges actually decided in favor of the whining parents and bumped up the kid's grades. One one assignment, the score was raised by 2 grades, giving kiddo top marks on the paper, and another assignment was bumped up as well.
Happily, the decision has been condemned by parliament and it has been asserted that the judge overstepped the court's boundaries by interfering with the teacher's marking scheme. Some members of parliament also pointed out that the judge was a poor grader in that the girl was 'awarded points for a question that had clearly been answered incorrectly.'
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A Strange Government Cutback
New York's Auburn Correctional Facility traditionally has had a statue of Copper John roosted above it, guarding over all in revolutionary garb. This past summer, 156 year old Copper John was taken down so that he could be spruced up a bit. For reasons unknown, workers who were refurbishing John were told by the State Dept of Correctional Services to reduce the size of his...crotch. They did indeed reduce it, and Copper Slightly Smaller John will be appearing on his perch this fall.
Guess the statue's package offended someone somewhere who felt it necessary to sue....
Whoo Hoo! Latest Installation of Yeti Sports! Yeti Sports 6: Big Wave . This time, surf the waves & collect points by doing aerial jumps, kicking pingus and gaining style points. I stylized my way right off the freakin' screen...
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
A Reminder: World Invasion to Occur This Month
(previously published missive item (July 19th, 2004) , worthy of repeating in the interest of world safety)
World Destruction Begins Sept. 29
Hey, if you have any unused vacation days, might want to schedule to take some time off prior to September 29th. According to Extra Terrestrial expert Dr Terry Johnson, that is the date that marks the beginning of the End of the World.
Dr Johnson warns that there is an earthquake scheduled for September 29th in Guadalajara, Mexico, and when it happens a huge spacecraft will slam into the fault line, causing a chain reaction that will result in "the ultimate destruction of the planet."
Numerous alien groups are conspiring to destroy Earth, says Doc Johnson, because "They're afraid of human creativity and our unique ways of problem solving."
Don't give up hope, though. See, many humans have already been abducted to other planets to serve as 'super computers' and they're working as a resistance force by learning how to fly UFO's.
Luckily, International Talk Like a Pirate Day is September 19th, so we don't have to worry about missing THAT special day.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Smutty Candy!
St Blasien Jesuit College, near Bonn Germany, is up in arms over the sexy new wrappers on Haribo candies.
The angry Catholics have blasted Haribo, stating: "We are shocked at the shameless presentation of sexual practices on the wrapping, which includes not only sexual intercourse but also fellatio and cunnilingus."
The wrappers, pics of which are attached in this missive, show cute little lemons, limes, strawberries and other fruits playing happily. Or ARE they? The college says the displays are offensive pornography, especially the lemon flavor, which "undoubtedly show a green figure having sex with a lemon. The lemon, which from the drawing looks female, is obviously enjoying it with the greatest of pleasure."
A case of sour grapes, me thinks.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Ouch.
An unidentified man in Albuquerque NM is singing a different tune now...one decidedly higher in pitch. Seems he was playing with his cuddly little pit bull Monday, and things went horribly awry. Details are sketchy but the end result was a naked male sans genitalia and a happy pit bull running around loose somewhere unbeknownst to authorities.
As a result of this emasculation, Gov Bill Richardson has decided that next year he will propose legislation to hold owners of 'dangerous dogs' accountable for their pets.
And their parts.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Teacher ordered to give kid higher grades.
A poor little Bavarian girl didn't get accepted into a grammar school due to her poor grades. So sad. What's sadder still is what happened next.
Kiddo's parents decided that their daughter wasn't lacking in intelligence or attention skills but rather that the teacher was lacking in judgment and grading skills. So they sued her.
The case went to court under the allegations that the tests were unfairly phrased in an ambiguous way and therefore kiddo should get higher grades. The judges actually decided in favor of the whining parents and bumped up the kid's grades. One one assignment, the score was raised by 2 grades, giving kiddo top marks on the paper, and another assignment was bumped up as well.
Happily, the decision has been condemned by parliament and it has been asserted that the judge overstepped the court's boundaries by interfering with the teacher's marking scheme. Some members of parliament also pointed out that the judge was a poor grader in that the girl was 'awarded points for a question that had clearly been answered incorrectly.'
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
A Strange Government Cutback
New York's Auburn Correctional Facility traditionally has had a statue of Copper John roosted above it, guarding over all in revolutionary garb. This past summer, 156 year old Copper John was taken down so that he could be spruced up a bit. For reasons unknown, workers who were refurbishing John were told by the State Dept of Correctional Services to reduce the size of his...crotch. They did indeed reduce it, and Copper Slightly Smaller John will be appearing on his perch this fall.
Guess the statue's package offended someone somewhere who felt it necessary to sue....
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
John Hutcherson and his buddy Francis Brohm went out drinkin’ last Saturday night. Boy did they have fun. So much fun that, after getting in an accident with a telephone pole on the way home, Johnny boy didn’t notice that his buddy’s head was lopped off. Apparently Francis had been hanging his head out the window like a dog and a guide wire on the pole decapitated him.
John went home with the headless body dangling out of the car window, tucked himself into bed and went to sleep. He was awoken by police, who had been called by a neighbor who happened to notice the corpse waiting in John’s driveway.
Insightful words from the police: “Alcohol is believed to be a contributing factor.”
Ya think?
John went home with the headless body dangling out of the car window, tucked himself into bed and went to sleep. He was awoken by police, who had been called by a neighbor who happened to notice the corpse waiting in John’s driveway.
Insightful words from the police: “Alcohol is believed to be a contributing factor.”
Ya think?
Monday, August 30, 2004
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Did We Land on the Moon?
For years people have tried to convince me that we never landed on the moon, and I resisted their 'proof' and trusted the Government. The photographic evidence was, in my opinion, bunk. However, looking at this display of previously unseen shots.well..it's starting to make me wonder.
Especially Exhibit G. It's got me thinking. A LOT.
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Cat Eats Dog
Keep your dogs away from the water in Gueldendorf, Germany! There's a big old hungry catfish there that evidently ate a dachshund this past week. Usually catfish are scavengers, but this fishy has become quite voracious. It is emptying the lake of all the other fish and reportedly dragged the little dachshund doggy under the water and ate it, much to the chagrin of the pup's owner.
Folks at the Gueldendorfer Fisherman's Club have been trying to catch the fish via rod, reel, nets, and electroshocks but to no avail.
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Jaw Dropping Medical Advances
9 years ago a man, we'll call him Patient X, lost his jaw bone due to cancer. During that time he has subsisted on mushy foods and such. Now, he can gum his food! Doctors rebuilt his face after GROWING A JAW BONE ON HIS BACK!
Most folks would be able to just get a bone graft from somewhere else on the body, but Patient X was taking blood thinners to control an aortic aneurysm, so that wouldn't be wise in his case. After taking a CT of Patient X's head, the docs made a Teflon model of what a jawbone should look like in this head. They covered it with a titanium cage, removed the Teflon, and filled the cage with bone mineral blocks, bone marrow and proteins to accelerate bone growth. And inserted it into Patient X's back to grow and grow and grow for 7 weeks.
Then they took the jaw from his back and put it where it belonged, and within 4 weeks it had grown enough for Patient X to be able to chew chew chew. Well, gum gum gum.
Next on his list are teeth. Docs say he can have them in a year.
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(Sorry, a soapbox moment)
Ooops!
Jim Malone has spent the past 8 years battling depression and losing weight due to his 1996 diagnosis of being HIV positive. After being told he was positive, he began going to support group meetings and accepting free meals and such from an AIDS charity, and has basically been living to die.
Apparently he never bothered to return for medical tests or follow up care to check his T cell counts or anything of that sort. Since 1996.
So now he's mad that he just got a letter from his doctor that pretty much says "Oops! My bad! You're not positive."
Says Malone: "He told me, 'We made a very big mistake. We did not do our job.. I said, 'You mean to tell me that all you have to say is you are sorry? Sorry that I lived for all this time believing I was going to die?'"
Yes, it's bad that the medical facility screwed up, and didn't make known the second result of negative from a follow up blood test. It rots.
HOWEVER...color me unfeeling, but do ya think maybe Malone could have popped out of his ball of self pity for a moment to have some ongoing care that would have quickly and easily shown that he was negative? Just a thought.
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Cat Dog
Te Huot from Cambodia has an interesting claim. He says that his 10-year-old dog, Knou, gave birth last Tuesday to a gray tabby kitten.
He says that a forest monk visited prior to the blessed event and claimed that the dog had mated with a tiger. "This animal cries like a cat, and its face is like a cat, but its feet are bigger than a cat's and look more like a dog's feet," state local media.
People are coming from miles away to burn incense and give donations to the dog and its baby kitten, which Te says is a sign from the gods.
A sign of what, nobody knows.
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When Good Chimps Go Bad
Feili is one tough monkey. She used to be sweet. But she has transformed from a 'gentle girl' into a 'shrew' due to sexual frustration. She can't find the right stud at her zoo in Xinhua, and to satisfy her oral fixation she has taken up smoking.
How does she get the smokes, you ask? NO, she doesn't hang outside the 7-11 and get someone to buy a pack for her. She's much wiser. She's gotten into the habit of begging visitors for smigs and spitting at them when they don't comply. When they throw butts at her, she scoops them up and smokes them.
Frustration is such a terrible thing..
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Did We Land on the Moon?
For years people have tried to convince me that we never landed on the moon, and I resisted their 'proof' and trusted the Government. The photographic evidence was, in my opinion, bunk. However, looking at this display of previously unseen shots.well..it's starting to make me wonder.
Especially Exhibit G. It's got me thinking. A LOT.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Cat Eats Dog
Keep your dogs away from the water in Gueldendorf, Germany! There's a big old hungry catfish there that evidently ate a dachshund this past week. Usually catfish are scavengers, but this fishy has become quite voracious. It is emptying the lake of all the other fish and reportedly dragged the little dachshund doggy under the water and ate it, much to the chagrin of the pup's owner.
Folks at the Gueldendorfer Fisherman's Club have been trying to catch the fish via rod, reel, nets, and electroshocks but to no avail.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Jaw Dropping Medical Advances
9 years ago a man, we'll call him Patient X, lost his jaw bone due to cancer. During that time he has subsisted on mushy foods and such. Now, he can gum his food! Doctors rebuilt his face after GROWING A JAW BONE ON HIS BACK!
Most folks would be able to just get a bone graft from somewhere else on the body, but Patient X was taking blood thinners to control an aortic aneurysm, so that wouldn't be wise in his case. After taking a CT of Patient X's head, the docs made a Teflon model of what a jawbone should look like in this head. They covered it with a titanium cage, removed the Teflon, and filled the cage with bone mineral blocks, bone marrow and proteins to accelerate bone growth. And inserted it into Patient X's back to grow and grow and grow for 7 weeks.
Then they took the jaw from his back and put it where it belonged, and within 4 weeks it had grown enough for Patient X to be able to chew chew chew. Well, gum gum gum.
Next on his list are teeth. Docs say he can have them in a year.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
(Sorry, a soapbox moment)
Ooops!
Jim Malone has spent the past 8 years battling depression and losing weight due to his 1996 diagnosis of being HIV positive. After being told he was positive, he began going to support group meetings and accepting free meals and such from an AIDS charity, and has basically been living to die.
Apparently he never bothered to return for medical tests or follow up care to check his T cell counts or anything of that sort. Since 1996.
So now he's mad that he just got a letter from his doctor that pretty much says "Oops! My bad! You're not positive."
Says Malone: "He told me, 'We made a very big mistake. We did not do our job.. I said, 'You mean to tell me that all you have to say is you are sorry? Sorry that I lived for all this time believing I was going to die?'"
Yes, it's bad that the medical facility screwed up, and didn't make known the second result of negative from a follow up blood test. It rots.
HOWEVER...color me unfeeling, but do ya think maybe Malone could have popped out of his ball of self pity for a moment to have some ongoing care that would have quickly and easily shown that he was negative? Just a thought.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Cat Dog
Te Huot from Cambodia has an interesting claim. He says that his 10-year-old dog, Knou, gave birth last Tuesday to a gray tabby kitten.
He says that a forest monk visited prior to the blessed event and claimed that the dog had mated with a tiger. "This animal cries like a cat, and its face is like a cat, but its feet are bigger than a cat's and look more like a dog's feet," state local media.
People are coming from miles away to burn incense and give donations to the dog and its baby kitten, which Te says is a sign from the gods.
A sign of what, nobody knows.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
When Good Chimps Go Bad
Feili is one tough monkey. She used to be sweet. But she has transformed from a 'gentle girl' into a 'shrew' due to sexual frustration. She can't find the right stud at her zoo in Xinhua, and to satisfy her oral fixation she has taken up smoking.
How does she get the smokes, you ask? NO, she doesn't hang outside the 7-11 and get someone to buy a pack for her. She's much wiser. She's gotten into the habit of begging visitors for smigs and spitting at them when they don't comply. When they throw butts at her, she scoops them up and smokes them.
Frustration is such a terrible thing..
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Sunday, August 29, 2004
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Link of the day:
http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/
computer programmer or serial killer: can you tell?
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Nicki McYucky
Nicki McRoberts is tired of all the hot chicks...oh wait..."wafer-thin women" making life difficult for the less fit. So in her own bizarre protest, Nicki has decided to be all that she can be. And then some.
Nicki has decided that excellent retaliation against the Olsen Twins et al is to eat non-stop until she hits her goal weight of 588lbs.
She started out at about 139lbs, and is bulldozing her way on up the scale quite nicely: now she is a dainty 360lbs.
Her lucky husband Tim is helping her to chow down on approximately 14,000 calories a day, and even has reinforced the shelving in the pantry to support Nicki's gargantuan food supply.
Nicki outgrows her wardrobe every month, but soon should be able to get by just wearing draperies or table cloths, which will cut down on the buxx she's shelling out monthly to cover herself (right now about $5,400 per month).
Some frightening words from Nicky: "It's not uncommon for me to get excited if I split my pants or a button pops open."
Ew.
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Lord Mutter Saves the Day by Providing the Following Important News Snippet:
Till Death Do Us Unite
David Masenta shot and killed his pregnant fiance and then turned the gun on himself. So sad. In America, this would usually result in the wedding being called off. Not in South Africa!
Davey's family and friends really wanted to remember Davey and Mgwanini as a happy couple. Couple means married. So, Dave and Mgwanini are to be joined in death as they never were joined in life, and the two are going to become one in matrimony immediately before they are buried.
For you see, "In African culture, there is no death -- there is merely the separation of body and soul." Therefore, death by the violent hand of the groom to be "does not mean the relationship has irretrievably broken down."
Though I suspect the couple may have communication issues.
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And THIS, from Lord Mutter...
Another Reason to Smash Your TV
Tommy Lee and Vince Neil of Motley Crue have each signed on to be in their own stunning reality shows this coming year. Tommy Boy's show will be on NBC, and will follow him as he enrolls in college and experiences college life at his extreme age.
Vince Neil is hopping on the MTV Boat and starring in the gripping "The Remaking of Vince Neil". On this amazing series we the people will view Neil getting a makeover and trying to jumpstart his sagging career.
Boy oh boy. I can't wait.
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Sheep Tense No More
Troubled by your tense sheep? Bothered by bailful bleeting? No worries. Just whip out a couple of 8x10 glossies of hot sheepies, and your little lambs will be just fine.
British scientists have studied the effect of pictures-of-sheep on stressed out, unhappy sheep and found that the image on the picture was soothing. Much like people carry pics of their families and loved ones in their wallets, the sight of a friendly sheepy face calms distressed mutton.
This was determined by shoving sheepies into dark barns all alone (ghost stories optional). Scientists measured their stress levels based on heart rate, blood samples, bleating and the like.
Then the animals were shown pictures of either goat faces, triangles, or friendly sheepy faces. Goats and triangles increased stress. Sheep caused little or no stress.
It was also found that sheep can recognize up to 50 OTHER sheeps' unique faces and profiles.
And if that's not worth studying, I don't know what is.
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And Finally, Lord Mutter made my blood boil with this one.
Outrageous.
Ma Weihua was arrested in Gansu province, China, for transporting 56 oz of heroin from Xinjiang province. This is an offense that is punishable by death.
Chinese prison officials want to get this whole death penalty thing rolling, so they have forced Ma to undergo an abortion. Because, you see, pregnant people can't be executed in China. Though Ma said she wanted to carry the baby to term, anti-drug task force members signed a consent form 'on her behalf' to have the procedure done. The put her out cold with general anesthesia and did the deed.
Meanwhile, judgment will be delivered in the next couple of days regarding a stay of execution, and October 1 new legislation will be in place to stop police abuse.
Of course, it's a wee bit late for Ma.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Link of the day:
http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/
computer programmer or serial killer: can you tell?
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Nicki McYucky
Nicki McRoberts is tired of all the hot chicks...oh wait..."wafer-thin women" making life difficult for the less fit. So in her own bizarre protest, Nicki has decided to be all that she can be. And then some.
Nicki has decided that excellent retaliation against the Olsen Twins et al is to eat non-stop until she hits her goal weight of 588lbs.
She started out at about 139lbs, and is bulldozing her way on up the scale quite nicely: now she is a dainty 360lbs.
Her lucky husband Tim is helping her to chow down on approximately 14,000 calories a day, and even has reinforced the shelving in the pantry to support Nicki's gargantuan food supply.
Nicki outgrows her wardrobe every month, but soon should be able to get by just wearing draperies or table cloths, which will cut down on the buxx she's shelling out monthly to cover herself (right now about $5,400 per month).
Some frightening words from Nicky: "It's not uncommon for me to get excited if I split my pants or a button pops open."
Ew.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Lord Mutter Saves the Day by Providing the Following Important News Snippet:
Till Death Do Us Unite
David Masenta shot and killed his pregnant fiance and then turned the gun on himself. So sad. In America, this would usually result in the wedding being called off. Not in South Africa!
Davey's family and friends really wanted to remember Davey and Mgwanini as a happy couple. Couple means married. So, Dave and Mgwanini are to be joined in death as they never were joined in life, and the two are going to become one in matrimony immediately before they are buried.
For you see, "In African culture, there is no death -- there is merely the separation of body and soul." Therefore, death by the violent hand of the groom to be "does not mean the relationship has irretrievably broken down."
Though I suspect the couple may have communication issues.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
And THIS, from Lord Mutter...
Another Reason to Smash Your TV
Tommy Lee and Vince Neil of Motley Crue have each signed on to be in their own stunning reality shows this coming year. Tommy Boy's show will be on NBC, and will follow him as he enrolls in college and experiences college life at his extreme age.
Vince Neil is hopping on the MTV Boat and starring in the gripping "The Remaking of Vince Neil". On this amazing series we the people will view Neil getting a makeover and trying to jumpstart his sagging career.
Boy oh boy. I can't wait.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Sheep Tense No More
Troubled by your tense sheep? Bothered by bailful bleeting? No worries. Just whip out a couple of 8x10 glossies of hot sheepies, and your little lambs will be just fine.
British scientists have studied the effect of pictures-of-sheep on stressed out, unhappy sheep and found that the image on the picture was soothing. Much like people carry pics of their families and loved ones in their wallets, the sight of a friendly sheepy face calms distressed mutton.
This was determined by shoving sheepies into dark barns all alone (ghost stories optional). Scientists measured their stress levels based on heart rate, blood samples, bleating and the like.
Then the animals were shown pictures of either goat faces, triangles, or friendly sheepy faces. Goats and triangles increased stress. Sheep caused little or no stress.
It was also found that sheep can recognize up to 50 OTHER sheeps' unique faces and profiles.
And if that's not worth studying, I don't know what is.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
And Finally, Lord Mutter made my blood boil with this one.
Outrageous.
Ma Weihua was arrested in Gansu province, China, for transporting 56 oz of heroin from Xinjiang province. This is an offense that is punishable by death.
Chinese prison officials want to get this whole death penalty thing rolling, so they have forced Ma to undergo an abortion. Because, you see, pregnant people can't be executed in China. Though Ma said she wanted to carry the baby to term, anti-drug task force members signed a consent form 'on her behalf' to have the procedure done. The put her out cold with general anesthesia and did the deed.
Meanwhile, judgment will be delivered in the next couple of days regarding a stay of execution, and October 1 new legislation will be in place to stop police abuse.
Of course, it's a wee bit late for Ma.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Sometimes It's Just So Hard to Find a Good Bathing Suit
A customer at Marshall Field's in Ann Arbor apparently was having difficulty finding the perfect swimsuit this past Tuesday. He strutted out of the dressing room in a teeny tiny suit that clearly didn't fit. He asked the hot 21 year old dressing room chick how he looked. Chickie offered to get him a more suitable suit, but he dashed back into the dressing room instead. He came out wearing a thong.
Reports have it that he then whipped off the thong and told the dressing room chick that he likes being naked. He started to dance around her then grabbed her for a impromptu tango. Chickie broke free, rent a cop security guards were called and the Michael Flatley wanna be left the store.
Nothing more was said until Nekky man reappeared on Wednesday. THEN the cops were called.
Freak.
A customer at Marshall Field's in Ann Arbor apparently was having difficulty finding the perfect swimsuit this past Tuesday. He strutted out of the dressing room in a teeny tiny suit that clearly didn't fit. He asked the hot 21 year old dressing room chick how he looked. Chickie offered to get him a more suitable suit, but he dashed back into the dressing room instead. He came out wearing a thong.
Reports have it that he then whipped off the thong and told the dressing room chick that he likes being naked. He started to dance around her then grabbed her for a impromptu tango. Chickie broke free, rent a cop security guards were called and the Michael Flatley wanna be left the store.
Nothing more was said until Nekky man reappeared on Wednesday. THEN the cops were called.
Freak.
