Wednesday, September 22, 2004
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Link of the Day: What can I say? http://www.saintclinton.com/
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From Harold "I said a really disgusting thing about monkeys when I forwarded this to Beth" Friedline:
Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder
So the other day a 68 year old Malaysian woman used a ladder to climb into her mangosteen tree to pick some fruit for her loving husband. Thoughtful, eh?
Hubby saw her figure in the tree. And shot and killed her. Because he mistook her for...a monkey.
No fruit for you!
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Weebles Wobble But They Don't...
Some students attending Thaur primary school in Austria are testing new chairs that supposedly will keep them awake. Called the 'Werner-Pircher-Wobble-Chairs', they wobble about when students are wriggling and they don't even collapse! They also do not provide a steady support as needed when falling asleep in class, bouncing the children awake prior to full dozing.
Well then.
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Now if That's Not a Sign
Maddalena Camillo has met her maker, and met Him head-on.
Seems Maddalena was watching workers setting up lights for an annual religious festival when KABOOM a three-metre tall metal crucifix BAM slammed into her head.
Bang. You're dead.
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Blind man kills noisy deaf man
Blind Guy George Goeldner lived in a center for the blind in Brisbane, Australia. So too did Deaf Prosthetic Leg Guy Francis Butcher.
Being deaf, Franny liked his music loud. Being blind, George heard the sounds even better than a sighted person.
George complained a lot to staff at the center about that damned loud music Franny was always playing. It was not a secret that he didn't like it.
Then one day, George and his Power Ears heard Franny telling a staff member that he was going to have a great weekend. Translated: "I'm gonna blast my music until the walls rattle." George grabbed a serrated kitchen knife and ran out to Franny to talk some sense to the man.
Heck, Franny was even given headphones - but he wouldn't use them because they were uncomfortable. I bet the kitchen knife George shoved into his throat was more uncomfortable.
George was sentenced to 8 years in prison Monday. The jury didn't really buy his alibi that Franny slipped into the knife.
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Ozzy Osbourne has vowed to stop swearing for charity.
So Ozzy Osbourne is raising money for the UK charity Children in Need by not cursing for 24 hours. How indeed his being gagged with black tape and not swearing is going to help the children, I don't know.
But he's doing it, and I thought it was pretty fuckin' important to tell you.
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Seniors on Scooters overtake small town
The elderly and disabled folks in Paintsville, KY, were thrilled to learn that the government (by way of Medicare) would buy them motorized scooters. Now they could be mobile! They could race out of their homes and down to the local Wal-Mart! They could zip along the highways and biways to get just about anywhere!
At 3 miles per hour.
So many of the elderly and disabled are now roaming Paintsville on their scooters and motorized wheelchairs that the sidewalk-less town of 4,000 is in a constant state of gridlock. Folks who drive cars are mad at the sluggish septuagenarians. The seniors are miffed at those crazy kids in their souped up cars.
Said an angry motorist: "These aren't like little motorcycles -- they shouldn't have to be on the roads."
Not that the scooterists don't agree. It's downright scary to have the trucks and cars and pedestrians whizzing by them at amazing speeds.
Surprisingly, only one scooter rider has been hurt in traffic, that being 47 year old Vickie Whittaker who was bumped by a car earlier this summer. She and other scooterists are lobbying to get sidewalks put in place.
They're feeling ignored, though. As Vickie said, "Obviously, they don't care if we get where we're going or if we get killed going there."
Grrr.
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Police Seize 388 Guns from One Man
Wayne Wright was arrested by poilce for illegally selling a weapon to an undercover officer in Los Angeles. After arresting him, cops went on over to Simi Valley and checked out his house. There they found 376 firearms which, when added to the 11 from his car and the 1 sold, totals up to 388 weapons: 40 more than were recovered from the entire city last year.
Wayne had rifles, shotguns, handguns, assault weapons, thousands of rounds of ammunition, you name it. The LAPD says that Wayne is not a licensed gun dealer and MAY HAVE been engaged in illegal gun trafficking.
Ya think?
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Link of the Day: What can I say? http://www.saintclinton.com/
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
From Harold "I said a really disgusting thing about monkeys when I forwarded this to Beth" Friedline:
Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder
So the other day a 68 year old Malaysian woman used a ladder to climb into her mangosteen tree to pick some fruit for her loving husband. Thoughtful, eh?
Hubby saw her figure in the tree. And shot and killed her. Because he mistook her for...a monkey.
No fruit for you!
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Weebles Wobble But They Don't...
Some students attending Thaur primary school in Austria are testing new chairs that supposedly will keep them awake. Called the 'Werner-Pircher-Wobble-Chairs', they wobble about when students are wriggling and they don't even collapse! They also do not provide a steady support as needed when falling asleep in class, bouncing the children awake prior to full dozing.
Well then.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Now if That's Not a Sign
Maddalena Camillo has met her maker, and met Him head-on.
Seems Maddalena was watching workers setting up lights for an annual religious festival when KABOOM a three-metre tall metal crucifix BAM slammed into her head.
Bang. You're dead.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Blind man kills noisy deaf man
Blind Guy George Goeldner lived in a center for the blind in Brisbane, Australia. So too did Deaf Prosthetic Leg Guy Francis Butcher.
Being deaf, Franny liked his music loud. Being blind, George heard the sounds even better than a sighted person.
George complained a lot to staff at the center about that damned loud music Franny was always playing. It was not a secret that he didn't like it.
Then one day, George and his Power Ears heard Franny telling a staff member that he was going to have a great weekend. Translated: "I'm gonna blast my music until the walls rattle." George grabbed a serrated kitchen knife and ran out to Franny to talk some sense to the man.
Heck, Franny was even given headphones - but he wouldn't use them because they were uncomfortable. I bet the kitchen knife George shoved into his throat was more uncomfortable.
George was sentenced to 8 years in prison Monday. The jury didn't really buy his alibi that Franny slipped into the knife.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Ozzy Osbourne has vowed to stop swearing for charity.
So Ozzy Osbourne is raising money for the UK charity Children in Need by not cursing for 24 hours. How indeed his being gagged with black tape and not swearing is going to help the children, I don't know.
But he's doing it, and I thought it was pretty fuckin' important to tell you.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Seniors on Scooters overtake small town
The elderly and disabled folks in Paintsville, KY, were thrilled to learn that the government (by way of Medicare) would buy them motorized scooters. Now they could be mobile! They could race out of their homes and down to the local Wal-Mart! They could zip along the highways and biways to get just about anywhere!
At 3 miles per hour.
So many of the elderly and disabled are now roaming Paintsville on their scooters and motorized wheelchairs that the sidewalk-less town of 4,000 is in a constant state of gridlock. Folks who drive cars are mad at the sluggish septuagenarians. The seniors are miffed at those crazy kids in their souped up cars.
Said an angry motorist: "These aren't like little motorcycles -- they shouldn't have to be on the roads."
Not that the scooterists don't agree. It's downright scary to have the trucks and cars and pedestrians whizzing by them at amazing speeds.
Surprisingly, only one scooter rider has been hurt in traffic, that being 47 year old Vickie Whittaker who was bumped by a car earlier this summer. She and other scooterists are lobbying to get sidewalks put in place.
They're feeling ignored, though. As Vickie said, "Obviously, they don't care if we get where we're going or if we get killed going there."
Grrr.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Police Seize 388 Guns from One Man
Wayne Wright was arrested by poilce for illegally selling a weapon to an undercover officer in Los Angeles. After arresting him, cops went on over to Simi Valley and checked out his house. There they found 376 firearms which, when added to the 11 from his car and the 1 sold, totals up to 388 weapons: 40 more than were recovered from the entire city last year.
Wayne had rifles, shotguns, handguns, assault weapons, thousands of rounds of ammunition, you name it. The LAPD says that Wayne is not a licensed gun dealer and MAY HAVE been engaged in illegal gun trafficking.
Ya think?
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