Tuesday, September 21, 2004
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For those sinners out there who just don't have time for church... http://runningpress.com/bookstore/product.asp?sku=918
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Smoking Can Be Deadly
Ricardo Leon was hanging out at Partners Pub in Cleveland OH the other night. Another guy at the bar asked to bum a cigarette. Ricky said 'No".
So the guy took Ricky outside into the street and beat him to death (all caught on a helpful witness's videotape).
Those danged Ohioans.
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Another freak.
Ilie Verdas is the principal of the GG Lovinescu High School in Focsani. He heard rumors that some kids who went to school there planned to put a spell on him. So he has had a huge honkin' cross built and set in the playground to protect himself from this evil. Boo!
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Lost n Found
Last October Nigeria's navy seized the Russian oil tanker 'MT African Pride' (along with 13 Russian sailors), on suspicion of smuggling. And now they can't find the darned thing anywhere! They also can't seem to locate the MT Jimoh, also seized for oil theft.
So if anyone has seen a huge oil tanker or two, laden with crude oil, just kind of sitting around somewhere, please call Nigeria's navy. They'll appreciate it.
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Goats-for-Wife Scam
Hey gang! Whatever you do, don't fall for this old trick! This dude Diamantino from Portugal made a deal with a man who promised that he would provide a 22 year old hottie wife in exchange for 15 goats and $3,000. Diamantino, romantic that he is, gave up his livestock and his money and sat patiently waiting at his house for his hottie.
And waiting. And waiting.
After a few months of this, it dawned on Diamantino that his hottie was never coming! That his goats were gone! That his MONEY was gone! And that he, yes HE, was in fact an idiot and the victim of a scam!
So he grabbed up his weapons and locked himself inside a garage, demanding either a hot chick or his money back OR ELSE.
Cops talked him down from his frenzied state, and held him in jail for a few hours.
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Contributed by the One and Only Lord Mutter
Save the banana!
Because we've bred the seeds out of the bananas that we're so fond of, they lack genetic diversity - each new planting is a clipping of a previous crop. These genetically 'lacking' bananas can't keep up with the times and are susceptible to disease. Scientists predict that if we can't engineer a banana that is resistant to disease that we may see their extinction in the next 10 years.
Oops.
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Save the kittens, too!
Frankly, I was shocked to learn that so few of you know what horrible things can happen to kittens as a result of a person's selfish indulgences. So, be advised. And help save the kittens.
http://www.hosstyle.com/kittens.htm
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WAKE UP!
Bulgarian college student Mircea Colonescu had a rude awakening at the American University of Bulgaria the other evening. He and roomie Cosmin Haraga had laid down for a good night's sleep in their dormitory bunk beds. Suddenly, Cosmin's bed started creaking...creaking...falling...and BAM! Smashed Mircea sleeping below.
Mircea had head injuries and had to be taken to the hospital. Turns out the bunk beds at the university were not supported by bolts, but rather by nails. The college plans to fix that. And sometime soon they plan to replace Cosmin and Mircea's beds too.
Er. Whoops.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
For those sinners out there who just don't have time for church... http://runningpress.com/bookstore/product.asp?sku=918
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Smoking Can Be Deadly
Ricardo Leon was hanging out at Partners Pub in Cleveland OH the other night. Another guy at the bar asked to bum a cigarette. Ricky said 'No".
So the guy took Ricky outside into the street and beat him to death (all caught on a helpful witness's videotape).
Those danged Ohioans.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Another freak.
Ilie Verdas is the principal of the GG Lovinescu High School in Focsani. He heard rumors that some kids who went to school there planned to put a spell on him. So he has had a huge honkin' cross built and set in the playground to protect himself from this evil. Boo!
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Lost n Found
Last October Nigeria's navy seized the Russian oil tanker 'MT African Pride' (along with 13 Russian sailors), on suspicion of smuggling. And now they can't find the darned thing anywhere! They also can't seem to locate the MT Jimoh, also seized for oil theft.
So if anyone has seen a huge oil tanker or two, laden with crude oil, just kind of sitting around somewhere, please call Nigeria's navy. They'll appreciate it.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Goats-for-Wife Scam
Hey gang! Whatever you do, don't fall for this old trick! This dude Diamantino from Portugal made a deal with a man who promised that he would provide a 22 year old hottie wife in exchange for 15 goats and $3,000. Diamantino, romantic that he is, gave up his livestock and his money and sat patiently waiting at his house for his hottie.
And waiting. And waiting.
After a few months of this, it dawned on Diamantino that his hottie was never coming! That his goats were gone! That his MONEY was gone! And that he, yes HE, was in fact an idiot and the victim of a scam!
So he grabbed up his weapons and locked himself inside a garage, demanding either a hot chick or his money back OR ELSE.
Cops talked him down from his frenzied state, and held him in jail for a few hours.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Contributed by the One and Only Lord Mutter
Save the banana!
Because we've bred the seeds out of the bananas that we're so fond of, they lack genetic diversity - each new planting is a clipping of a previous crop. These genetically 'lacking' bananas can't keep up with the times and are susceptible to disease. Scientists predict that if we can't engineer a banana that is resistant to disease that we may see their extinction in the next 10 years.
Oops.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Save the kittens, too!
Frankly, I was shocked to learn that so few of you know what horrible things can happen to kittens as a result of a person's selfish indulgences. So, be advised. And help save the kittens.
http://www.hosstyle.com/kittens.htm
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
WAKE UP!
Bulgarian college student Mircea Colonescu had a rude awakening at the American University of Bulgaria the other evening. He and roomie Cosmin Haraga had laid down for a good night's sleep in their dormitory bunk beds. Suddenly, Cosmin's bed started creaking...creaking...falling...and BAM! Smashed Mircea sleeping below.
Mircea had head injuries and had to be taken to the hospital. Turns out the bunk beds at the university were not supported by bolts, but rather by nails. The college plans to fix that. And sometime soon they plan to replace Cosmin and Mircea's beds too.
Er. Whoops.
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