Sunday, August 29, 2004
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Link of the day:
http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/
computer programmer or serial killer: can you tell?
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Nicki McYucky
Nicki McRoberts is tired of all the hot chicks...oh wait..."wafer-thin women" making life difficult for the less fit. So in her own bizarre protest, Nicki has decided to be all that she can be. And then some.
Nicki has decided that excellent retaliation against the Olsen Twins et al is to eat non-stop until she hits her goal weight of 588lbs.
She started out at about 139lbs, and is bulldozing her way on up the scale quite nicely: now she is a dainty 360lbs.
Her lucky husband Tim is helping her to chow down on approximately 14,000 calories a day, and even has reinforced the shelving in the pantry to support Nicki's gargantuan food supply.
Nicki outgrows her wardrobe every month, but soon should be able to get by just wearing draperies or table cloths, which will cut down on the buxx she's shelling out monthly to cover herself (right now about $5,400 per month).
Some frightening words from Nicky: "It's not uncommon for me to get excited if I split my pants or a button pops open."
Ew.
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Lord Mutter Saves the Day by Providing the Following Important News Snippet:
Till Death Do Us Unite
David Masenta shot and killed his pregnant fiance and then turned the gun on himself. So sad. In America, this would usually result in the wedding being called off. Not in South Africa!
Davey's family and friends really wanted to remember Davey and Mgwanini as a happy couple. Couple means married. So, Dave and Mgwanini are to be joined in death as they never were joined in life, and the two are going to become one in matrimony immediately before they are buried.
For you see, "In African culture, there is no death -- there is merely the separation of body and soul." Therefore, death by the violent hand of the groom to be "does not mean the relationship has irretrievably broken down."
Though I suspect the couple may have communication issues.
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And THIS, from Lord Mutter...
Another Reason to Smash Your TV
Tommy Lee and Vince Neil of Motley Crue have each signed on to be in their own stunning reality shows this coming year. Tommy Boy's show will be on NBC, and will follow him as he enrolls in college and experiences college life at his extreme age.
Vince Neil is hopping on the MTV Boat and starring in the gripping "The Remaking of Vince Neil". On this amazing series we the people will view Neil getting a makeover and trying to jumpstart his sagging career.
Boy oh boy. I can't wait.
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Sheep Tense No More
Troubled by your tense sheep? Bothered by bailful bleeting? No worries. Just whip out a couple of 8x10 glossies of hot sheepies, and your little lambs will be just fine.
British scientists have studied the effect of pictures-of-sheep on stressed out, unhappy sheep and found that the image on the picture was soothing. Much like people carry pics of their families and loved ones in their wallets, the sight of a friendly sheepy face calms distressed mutton.
This was determined by shoving sheepies into dark barns all alone (ghost stories optional). Scientists measured their stress levels based on heart rate, blood samples, bleating and the like.
Then the animals were shown pictures of either goat faces, triangles, or friendly sheepy faces. Goats and triangles increased stress. Sheep caused little or no stress.
It was also found that sheep can recognize up to 50 OTHER sheeps' unique faces and profiles.
And if that's not worth studying, I don't know what is.
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And Finally, Lord Mutter made my blood boil with this one.
Outrageous.
Ma Weihua was arrested in Gansu province, China, for transporting 56 oz of heroin from Xinjiang province. This is an offense that is punishable by death.
Chinese prison officials want to get this whole death penalty thing rolling, so they have forced Ma to undergo an abortion. Because, you see, pregnant people can't be executed in China. Though Ma said she wanted to carry the baby to term, anti-drug task force members signed a consent form 'on her behalf' to have the procedure done. The put her out cold with general anesthesia and did the deed.
Meanwhile, judgment will be delivered in the next couple of days regarding a stay of execution, and October 1 new legislation will be in place to stop police abuse.
Of course, it's a wee bit late for Ma.
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Link of the day:
http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/
computer programmer or serial killer: can you tell?
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Nicki McYucky
Nicki McRoberts is tired of all the hot chicks...oh wait..."wafer-thin women" making life difficult for the less fit. So in her own bizarre protest, Nicki has decided to be all that she can be. And then some.
Nicki has decided that excellent retaliation against the Olsen Twins et al is to eat non-stop until she hits her goal weight of 588lbs.
She started out at about 139lbs, and is bulldozing her way on up the scale quite nicely: now she is a dainty 360lbs.
Her lucky husband Tim is helping her to chow down on approximately 14,000 calories a day, and even has reinforced the shelving in the pantry to support Nicki's gargantuan food supply.
Nicki outgrows her wardrobe every month, but soon should be able to get by just wearing draperies or table cloths, which will cut down on the buxx she's shelling out monthly to cover herself (right now about $5,400 per month).
Some frightening words from Nicky: "It's not uncommon for me to get excited if I split my pants or a button pops open."
Ew.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Lord Mutter Saves the Day by Providing the Following Important News Snippet:
Till Death Do Us Unite
David Masenta shot and killed his pregnant fiance and then turned the gun on himself. So sad. In America, this would usually result in the wedding being called off. Not in South Africa!
Davey's family and friends really wanted to remember Davey and Mgwanini as a happy couple. Couple means married. So, Dave and Mgwanini are to be joined in death as they never were joined in life, and the two are going to become one in matrimony immediately before they are buried.
For you see, "In African culture, there is no death -- there is merely the separation of body and soul." Therefore, death by the violent hand of the groom to be "does not mean the relationship has irretrievably broken down."
Though I suspect the couple may have communication issues.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
And THIS, from Lord Mutter...
Another Reason to Smash Your TV
Tommy Lee and Vince Neil of Motley Crue have each signed on to be in their own stunning reality shows this coming year. Tommy Boy's show will be on NBC, and will follow him as he enrolls in college and experiences college life at his extreme age.
Vince Neil is hopping on the MTV Boat and starring in the gripping "The Remaking of Vince Neil". On this amazing series we the people will view Neil getting a makeover and trying to jumpstart his sagging career.
Boy oh boy. I can't wait.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Sheep Tense No More
Troubled by your tense sheep? Bothered by bailful bleeting? No worries. Just whip out a couple of 8x10 glossies of hot sheepies, and your little lambs will be just fine.
British scientists have studied the effect of pictures-of-sheep on stressed out, unhappy sheep and found that the image on the picture was soothing. Much like people carry pics of their families and loved ones in their wallets, the sight of a friendly sheepy face calms distressed mutton.
This was determined by shoving sheepies into dark barns all alone (ghost stories optional). Scientists measured their stress levels based on heart rate, blood samples, bleating and the like.
Then the animals were shown pictures of either goat faces, triangles, or friendly sheepy faces. Goats and triangles increased stress. Sheep caused little or no stress.
It was also found that sheep can recognize up to 50 OTHER sheeps' unique faces and profiles.
And if that's not worth studying, I don't know what is.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
And Finally, Lord Mutter made my blood boil with this one.
Outrageous.
Ma Weihua was arrested in Gansu province, China, for transporting 56 oz of heroin from Xinjiang province. This is an offense that is punishable by death.
Chinese prison officials want to get this whole death penalty thing rolling, so they have forced Ma to undergo an abortion. Because, you see, pregnant people can't be executed in China. Though Ma said she wanted to carry the baby to term, anti-drug task force members signed a consent form 'on her behalf' to have the procedure done. The put her out cold with general anesthesia and did the deed.
Meanwhile, judgment will be delivered in the next couple of days regarding a stay of execution, and October 1 new legislation will be in place to stop police abuse.
Of course, it's a wee bit late for Ma.
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