Wednesday, May 05, 2004
This Day in History: May 5, 1926, the Brady Bunch's live-in maid or whatever, Ann B. Davis was born. In case you are wondering, yes she IS still alive. I checked.
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Headmistress canes colleague
A teacher in Malaysia has learned not to mess with the headmistress. He criticized her, opposing her plans to improve discipline among the school's students. So she caned him. In front of the other teachers.
Her new improved discipline techniques likely will be approved by the remaining teachers.
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Driver fined for not putting dog in seatbelt
Driving through the foothills of the German Alps, hugging the curves, breathing the air, dog's ears flapping in the wind as it sticks its head through the window. Ah, yes. Idyllic, is it not?
Nope. It is not.
Bobbie the Dog got his owner in deep doo doo for not wearing his doggie seatbelt. Cops interrupted the funride to issue a ticket and summons to Bobbie's owner. Said owner has refused to pay the fine, so now it has increased from £17 ($30) to £29 ($52).
The police standpoint on this is clear...to Germans: "Small dogs belong on the floor and larger dogs need to be kept in a harness or in the boot," he said.
Now, as a stupid American, I fail to understand why putting a dog in boots would make it more secure, but hey - to each his own. For those who wish to invest in puppy boots, here's a link: dog boots. Tee hee.
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Sumo Goats: The Stuff of Nightmares
While many people know goats to be rather docile creatures, suitable for petting zoos across the nation and relatively stupid, organizers of the traditional Goat Sumo Ceremonies in Motobu, Okinawa, know otherwise.
Sumo managers state that goats become downright mean and aggressive when put in a tiny wrestling ring facing each other. And hundreds of people are flocking to Motobu to watch the spectacle as you read this. Reports are that the Goat Sumo bouts can last up to 15 minutes or so, unless one of the goats runs away early. Should they both make it through the whole bout, the winner is declared based upon the number of times it slammed its horns against the loser. Then, after the bouts, the sumo goats go take a rest to compose themselves. Whew!
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Istanbul (Not Constantinople)/ Mojito (Not Richland)
Mojito (Beverage):
Ingredients:
3 fresh Mint sprigs
2 tsp Sugar
3 tblsp Lemon juice (or lime), fresh
1 1/2 oz Light rum
Club soda, Chilled
Mixing instructions:
In a tall thin glass, crush part of the mint with a fork to coat the inside. Add the sugar and lemon juice and stir thoroughly. Top with ice. Add rum and mix. Top off with the club soda (or seltzer). Add a lemon slice and the remaining mint. Serves one.
Mojito (New Jersey):
Ingredients:
1 donation of $5000 from Bacardi to the town
1 character on Sex in the City ordering a Mojito
1 seriously odd group of townspeople.
Richland New Jersey has renamed itself 'Mojito'. Because they can.
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Glenn McMillen has today contributed this little nugget:
Gas for free. CooOOOOoool.
A cool computer glitch occurred in Pittsfield Township, Michigan this week. Turns out that somehow gas pump customers could swipe their drivers' licenses in the pumps and still have gas doled out - presumably for free! Bummer is, by swiping their drivers licenses, the 107 or so culprits (most of whom are college students from the area) have been easily identified and are being hunted down like the lying, thieving, snot-nosed, gas-stealing bastards that they really are! HA! Crime doesn't pay, young people, crime does not pay.
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Ugh. Won't Janet's Nipple Just Go Away?
Janet Jackson has accused the US Government of Wagging the Dog...or the Nipple as the case may be. "The government needed something to divert attention away from important problems regarding foreign affairs," said Janet to the Financial Times Germany.
"They simply needed a distraction - and they found that in me. It could have been anyone, but they picked me. That is really alarming," said Jackson.
"It shows you that we desperately need a Democrat as President," she said.
Well, then. Okey Dokey.
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Headmistress canes colleague
A teacher in Malaysia has learned not to mess with the headmistress. He criticized her, opposing her plans to improve discipline among the school's students. So she caned him. In front of the other teachers.
Her new improved discipline techniques likely will be approved by the remaining teachers.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Driver fined for not putting dog in seatbelt
Driving through the foothills of the German Alps, hugging the curves, breathing the air, dog's ears flapping in the wind as it sticks its head through the window. Ah, yes. Idyllic, is it not?
Nope. It is not.
Bobbie the Dog got his owner in deep doo doo for not wearing his doggie seatbelt. Cops interrupted the funride to issue a ticket and summons to Bobbie's owner. Said owner has refused to pay the fine, so now it has increased from £17 ($30) to £29 ($52).
The police standpoint on this is clear...to Germans: "Small dogs belong on the floor and larger dogs need to be kept in a harness or in the boot," he said.
Now, as a stupid American, I fail to understand why putting a dog in boots would make it more secure, but hey - to each his own. For those who wish to invest in puppy boots, here's a link: dog boots. Tee hee.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Sumo Goats: The Stuff of Nightmares
While many people know goats to be rather docile creatures, suitable for petting zoos across the nation and relatively stupid, organizers of the traditional Goat Sumo Ceremonies in Motobu, Okinawa, know otherwise.
Sumo managers state that goats become downright mean and aggressive when put in a tiny wrestling ring facing each other. And hundreds of people are flocking to Motobu to watch the spectacle as you read this. Reports are that the Goat Sumo bouts can last up to 15 minutes or so, unless one of the goats runs away early. Should they both make it through the whole bout, the winner is declared based upon the number of times it slammed its horns against the loser. Then, after the bouts, the sumo goats go take a rest to compose themselves. Whew!
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Istanbul (Not Constantinople)/ Mojito (Not Richland)
Mojito (Beverage):
Ingredients:
3 fresh Mint sprigs
2 tsp Sugar
3 tblsp Lemon juice (or lime), fresh
1 1/2 oz Light rum
Club soda, Chilled
Mixing instructions:
In a tall thin glass, crush part of the mint with a fork to coat the inside. Add the sugar and lemon juice and stir thoroughly. Top with ice. Add rum and mix. Top off with the club soda (or seltzer). Add a lemon slice and the remaining mint. Serves one.
Mojito (New Jersey):
Ingredients:
1 donation of $5000 from Bacardi to the town
1 character on Sex in the City ordering a Mojito
1 seriously odd group of townspeople.
Richland New Jersey has renamed itself 'Mojito'. Because they can.
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Glenn McMillen has today contributed this little nugget:
Gas for free. CooOOOOoool.
A cool computer glitch occurred in Pittsfield Township, Michigan this week. Turns out that somehow gas pump customers could swipe their drivers' licenses in the pumps and still have gas doled out - presumably for free! Bummer is, by swiping their drivers licenses, the 107 or so culprits (most of whom are college students from the area) have been easily identified and are being hunted down like the lying, thieving, snot-nosed, gas-stealing bastards that they really are! HA! Crime doesn't pay, young people, crime does not pay.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Ugh. Won't Janet's Nipple Just Go Away?
Janet Jackson has accused the US Government of Wagging the Dog...or the Nipple as the case may be. "The government needed something to divert attention away from important problems regarding foreign affairs," said Janet to the Financial Times Germany.
"They simply needed a distraction - and they found that in me. It could have been anyone, but they picked me. That is really alarming," said Jackson.
"It shows you that we desperately need a Democrat as President," she said.
Well, then. Okey Dokey.
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