Daily Drivel

Link of the Moment: http://www.batmobilehistory.com/index.html For those who've been wondering.

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Update on the Chicago Underpass Virgin Mary

Folks in Chicago are in mourning now that the Virgin Mary can no longer be seen on one of their expressway underpasses.

Victor Gonzalez got sick and tired of the stream of people leaving prayers and flowers in front of the salt runoff stain, so he scrawled 'Big Lie' across the holy stain.

The Department of Transportation then painted over the whole mess and now people are gathering at the site to express their sorrow.

So sad. So very, very sad.

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Gregory Alston was VERY upset Tuesday morning when he saw that the white Nissan Maxima he parked outside of his apartment building had been stolen. Heck, his wallet was in it and everything!

So Greg quickly called the police to report the car missing.

So sad that Greg apparently forgot how HE came to be driving said car: he stole it at gunpoint two weeks prior! Turns out that the victim recognized the car and had police tow it from the apartment complex's parking lot.

Greg is now being held on charges of armed robbery, possession of a stolen car, and a handgun violation.

Bummer he can't be brought up on charges of just being stupid.

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Finders Keepers

So by now I'm sure you heard about Clarence Stowers, the dude who found a severed finger in his frozen custard in Wilmington NC. Unlike the stupid Wendy's lady's hoax, this was the real deal: shop owner Brandon Fizer had indeed lopped off his finger to the top knuckle while using the custard machine.

Clarence stomped back to the custard stand within 30 minutes of finding the offending digit, and was asked for the finger back, so it could be re-attached to Brandon's hand.

NOPE! Clarence, desperate to keep his 15 minutes of fame intact, refused to return the finger tip and hid it in his freezer, only bringing it out occasionally to display to the media. He even refused the pleas of a surgeon who was trying to assist Brandon.

Clarence has now transferred the location of the digit to another secret spot: "I'm not saying who has it, but somebody has it," the wily man said in a recent phone interview. He is retaining it due to fear of disease that he may have contracted from the stub.

Official statement from the Custard company:

"The general manager attempted to retrieve it and rush it to the hospital," reads a statement posted Thursday on Kohl's Web site. "Unfortunately, the customer refused to give it to her and declared that he would be calling the TV stations and an attorney as he exited the store."

Interesting side note: this is the second time in less than a year that this particular frozen custard machine lopped off a finger. I'm thinking it's possessed. Perhaps we'll soon hear of an exorcism at the custard stand!