Daily Drivel

Link of the Day: http://www.jebodiah.50megs.com/

Hiz nayum iz Jebodiah n he be smrut. Yep. From his 'thenkin page':

March, 16, 2005

i climbd a billbord agin the othir nite an i was drunk and fell off. the ambelince an cops came and tuck me to work. that suckt. i was drunk an hirt and they tuck me to werk. i got off the bed an startid sweapin an the boss yeled at me an toad me to go back to bed.

Good stuff, man! Gripping, truly gripping…

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Snow Men

Brandon Arp and Aric Davenport took advantage of the late April snowfall in Laramie Wisc to erect a large snow-phallus in their front yard. Neighbors found the 'art' to be offensive and destroyed it.

Now Brandon (20) and Aric (18) face charges of promoting obscenity, though Aric's lawyer says it's really not clear how the sculpture was obscene.

So sad no pictures were taken before the bullies knocked it down.

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Miss Jumbo Queen Crowned

There was a big ol' beauty pageant in Nakhon Pathom (Thailand) this year: the Miss Jumbo Queen competition. It was held at the Samphran Elephant Ground and Zoo, and pulled in 24 sizeable contestants.

The winner this year was 242lb 18-year-old Tarnrarin Chansawang, described by the media as "a bubbly business student and tuba player from Bangkok."

Tarn says "I want to show people that just because I'm fat doesn't mean I'm any less beautiful or talented." Tarn competed with a mesmerizing dance number.

Also of note: a side award of "Miss Jumbo Universe" went to the heaviest competitor at the pagent, the 401 lb Thanchanok Mekkeaw.

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Mmmmmmmm Chocolate

Ever wanted to know what it feels like to be a chocolate covered strawberry? Go to the Four Seasons Hotel George V spa in Paris and you can find out!

Beauty treatments include a Toffee Chocolate Wrap and a Deep Chocolate Massage. Seeing it as a rejection of the whole "chocolate is bad" health craze, women can be drenched in the delicacy and treated to a 2 1/2 hour scrub, wrap, massage treatment for a mere $400!

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Danger Danger!

911 was called Thursday after someone a suspicious-looking student entering Marshall Junior High School in Clovis, NM. The student was reported as carrying something long, and wrapped up, which likely was a weapon of some sort.

The school was put on lock-down, and the students herded into the auditorium. There the principal explained what was going on. Eighth-grader Michael Morrissey realized quickly that he, in fact, was the suspicious student.

He approached the principal to explain that what likely was causing the panic was his extra-credit assignment: "We had to make up a product and it could have been anything. I made up a restaurant that specialized in oddly large burritos,"

Yes, indeed, it was his 30" burrito that was causing the troubles. The steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapeno-filled tortilla was determined to be no risk to students, except perhaps in a gastronomical way.

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Finally, Dave Matthews Band Settles Over Waste Dump Incident

Remember last August when said bus driver dumped 80 - 100 gallons of human waste over the Kinzie Street Bridge in Chicago? And the poo et al landed on hapless tourists floating under said bridge on a tour boat?

Well, at least the state battle is done: Davey will pay $200,000 to Chicago, which will be put into a fund for environmental protection and education. The band also has to keep meticulous records regarding the dumping of their waste. "The case sends a message that no one, not a rock star, no one, is above the law."

Dave and buddies still have at least 3 private civil suits pending against them, filed by the upset dumpees.

Hm.