Daily Drivel

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Link of the Day: This is your first meeting with an un-Earthly non-human entity: an Extraterrestrial (ET).

If you handle it well, you will be the greatest hero alive, and be able to make a fortune selling your story to the media. If you blow it, the repercussions could be unimaginably terrible, perhaps an interstellar war that could annihilate humanity.

Feeling a little stressed out? Rule Number One: DON'T PANIC. Just follow these simple guidelines, and all will be well. http://www.adrr.com/lingua/alien.htm

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The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree

In Tennessee, if a kid is truant, the parents have to answer for it. In Knox County this past Tuesday, there was a meeting for 582 parents of truant kids -- only 340 or so showed up.

One woman kind of showed up. Cecelia Donaldson went to the school building where the meeting was held, but refused to go inside to listen to county officials. Cece said, " I don't want to hear what Randy Nichols has to say." So she didn't. This whole situation has greatly upset her, though. Upon receiving the letter requesting her presence "I sat down and I ate three Mr. Goodbars because I was so angry."

I feel your rage, Cece, I feel your rage.

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Acupuncture patient left in the dark
--straight from ananova

A German woman suffered a bad case of pins and needles when staff at an acupuncture clinic forgot about her and went home.

The 25-year-old woman, who has not been named, was lying on a treatment bed behind a screen with needles in her body when the lights went out.

"At first I thought the lights had been turned out to help with the relaxation, but then I heard the front door being locked and everything went silent," she told local media in Karlsruhe.

After her calls for help went unheeded, she said she had no choice but to remove the needles herself before calling emergency services.

"I now know why people are not recommended to try acupuncture at home, it hurts considerably more to take the pins out yourself," she said.

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Totally Weird

Prisoners in the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center are dropping like flies, and are hoping that yesterday's exorcism of the building will work. Father John Llacuno was called in to clean out the evil spirits after prisoners were reported to be dying after seeing black cats or black dogs roaming inside the prison walls. Upon visiting the prison, Fr John did declare it to be 'cursed'.

Prisoners have also awoken from deep sleeps to find their heads wedged between their cell's iron bars, or body parts distorted in bizarre ways. The infirmary at the prison is chock full of folks who have been abused by evil spirits.

Officials have tried to allay prisoners' fears, but analyzing footage taken by security cameras. They have determined that the evil spooky black cat is a stray that comes in to eat leftover food. However, the cameras have also picked up a strange white light that flies from cell to cell, a light that looks like a dove, and something that looks like a footprint moving quickly on the ground. Where the lights have been at night, the inmates are ill the next day.

oooooOOOOOooooooo

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The Buzzzzzzzz

Yet another terror scenario caused by a box in a post office vibrating and making odd noises. This time in Germany the postal employees got quite skittish and ended up phoning the cops. The cops got the sender of the package to come on down to the post office.

Upon investigation, it was found that there was a vibrating electrical device strategically placed inside a life sized female sex doll.

Dude was returning the toy to the maker, because it kept turning itself on at the wrong moment.
Hee hee.

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Follow up

Pacemaker Returned

Back in January, James Allan Donalson's mom croaked. Because he had been having a fight with the medical supplier of her (apparently faulty) pacemaker, Jimmy carved it out of her cold dead chest so he could keep it.

Texas authorities didn't really like that, and so they pressed evidence tampering charges against him.
So now, after 2 months, Jimmy has relented, and returned the pacemaker (cleaned). The charges have been dropped.

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Firefighter Doesn't Rescue Kitty

Christopher Cortes, a firefighter from Deerfield Beach FL, doesn't much like Mr. Kibbles, a black cat owned by his next-door neighbor, Nancy Leonard.

The bad kitty scratches his pickup truck on a regular basis. So when Mr. Kibbles disappeared a few weeks ago, Nancy knew just who was to blame. Nancy says that Chris admitted stealing Mr Kibbles, driving him far away, and dumping him in the Everglades.

Bummer for Chris. 13 days later, the damned cat is back. But even though Mr. Kibbles is safe and sound, Nancy thinks that Chris should be punished. As she says, "I think he should definitely be fired. He is a firefighter and I think it's horrible that a firefighter -- you know you go to a house and see a firefighter dumping a cat instead of taking it out of a tree."

Ah, what a coherent and well-phrased argument, Nancy.