Daily Drivel

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Sometimes, Less is More

Poor Michael Gruber thought he was pleasing his woman. Back a while ago, Mikey lost his wingding during a biking accident, and since then has been making due with a doctor-constructed item. This MacGyver-ed tool worked just fine for him and for his wife, even allowing them to create offspring.

Mikey wasn't satisfied though, and asked docs to return to the drawing board and prep him a bigger and better manstaff. Docs agreed, but explained to him that to ensure that all went well, they would have to keep organ #1 in place while organ #2 proved it was up to the task and would not be rejected by his body. Mike agreed.

While the new member was not rejected by his body, his wife Bianca was less forgiving. She took one look at the dynamic duo, packed her bags, and left.

Says the despondent Mikey: "I've got two penises but no wife, but I am hoping when I get rid of one of the penises I will get her back."

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Are Greyhounds Dogs? Kansas Says No

FYI: Kansas law has confirmed: contrary to popular belief, the greyhound is not in fact a dog. It is no longer to be protected as a pet once the creature crosses state lines.

A greyhound breeder, Kevin Neuman of Overland Park, Kansas, states: "They're definitely a dog. They're a great dog."

The National Greyhound Association disagrees, stating the greyhounds are not primarily bred for pets and therefore are not dogs.

They did NOT, however, define what these creatures actually are.

I'm just so confused.

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It's a Tumor!

Trevor Smithson kept going to the doctors at the Royal Berkshire Hospital with various complaints. They all told him he was just fat and to lose weight. He was able to lose that weight quite quickly recently, when he finally went to the Royal Marsden Hospital in London.

There they discovered a 56 pound tumor that had been hiding in his body over 9 years and 3 operations.

So now the tumor is out, Trevor is lighter, and - of course - preparing to sue the health system.

No news as to whether or not Trevor named his tumor.

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YAY! Digit Loppage!

Park Kyung-ja and Cho Seung-kyu were at a protest in Seoul, being all angry and stuff about Tokyo claiming ownership of some islands that Park and Cho say are Korean. The protest was a HUGE success, drawing a crowd of approximately sixteen (16) angry Koreans.

Somehow they decided that a great way to make Tokyo stay hands-off in the struggle was to lop off their fingers. So they did. Chop Chop Chop.

Amazingly, neither their choppage or the shouts of their 14 friends seemed to have any impact upon the political talks regarding the uninhabited volcanic islands.

Who would've thought?

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Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch...That'll Show Em!

A 20-something chick from Paraguay is really upset about the level of street violence in her city. So she took the only logical step the other day: she went shopping at the Mercado 4 market topless.

Says chickie: "It was a difficult decision but I think that this is the most natural way of protesting."

Well then. Yes. Yes it is.

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