Tuesday, January 25, 2005
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Link of the Day, courtesy of Lord Mutter: http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/tv/microsites/P/peoplesbookofrecords/lift.html
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Dating Etiquette 101
Rule #1: Don't rob your date before asking her out.
Local boy Brent Brown, 25, and his buddy Andre Moore, 18, his robbed their New Castle County (DE) pizza delivery wench. Taken by her beauty and poise, not to mention extremely speedy delivery service, Brent called her up on his cell phone to apologize and to ask her out on a date.
Pizza Chick said no, and gave the phone number to the cops. She also picked Brent out of a photo lineup, further sealing his fate.
So now Brent is dateless and arrested and only has some empty Domino's pizza boxes to show for his efforts. So sad.
Brent's official statement: "I'm innocent. I work every day. I have no reason to rob the pizza lady."
No reason, indeed. It's not like it was Papa John's pizza or anything.
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Driving Etiquette 247
Rule # 72: Don't Eat and Drive
Sarah McCaffrey was happily driving down the road in South Tyneside, England, in December of 2003. She was hungry, so she munched on an apple. She held the apple in her right hand as she navigated, albeit not smoothly, a left hand turn. And so her plight began.
Sarah was pulled over by an aggressive cop who THOUGHT she was using a cell phone. When he saw that she wasn't, he still gave her a ticket for eating while driving. Sarah thought that was stupid, so she appealed.
10 hearings later, after review of aerial photos, video from police aircraft, and a police car's video recording of the chewing incident, Sarah's case was decided yesterday. She has been fined $111.80US for her infraction.
The British Police have incurred approximately $24,385USD in trying the case.
Money extremely well spent, to keep the roads safe from fruit eaters.
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Scary Picture Hospitalizes Old Woman
Mrs. Wang was toddling out of the supermarket the other night, and started making her way down an alleyway. Suddenly, she saw what she thought was a wild tiger in her city streets. She screamed. She turned. She ran. She slipped. She fell. Heavily.
As people ran up to assist Mrs. Wang, she pointed down the alleyway stammering" "Tiger, tiger, there's a tiger."
She actually should have stammered: "painting, painting, there's a painting inside that calligraphy and paint shop there."
D'oh!
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Stripping Cops Okay!
In Houston, TX, the cops are tired of the prostitution. So tired, in fact, that they have put a new policy in place to allow undercover vice cops to strip down nekky if that's what it takes to get the john and/or the prostitute. Now that they can strip down to their birthday suits, the cops are having a better success rate, snagging 56 evil doers in November.
I guess that's their equivalent to casual Fridays.
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Riiiiight...
Ian Finlay is such a good citizen. Tired of the police stings that keep catching sexual predators, he went online and pretended to be a predator himself. Then, knowing that the purported 15 year old girl he'd been exchanging drrrrty words with was actually a cop, Ian turned up at the sting to turn the tables. He's extremely upset that the Hempfield, PA police arrested him before he could explain his grand plan.
I think he should sue.
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