Monday, December 13, 2004
Link of the Day: A new conspiracy! The Eric Conspiracy! http://www.catb.org/~esr/ecsl/ "Around 1987 someone on the newsgroup talk.bizarre uttered a semi-incoherent rant observing that there seemed to be an awful lot of hackers named Eric around -- ``and have you noticed'' (he said) ``that they all have moustaches and they're all UNIX system manglers?'' He then opined that these must be the secret signs of an insidious conspiracy."
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Ugh. Heard about this the other day, but was out of office/not publishing...
Fear and Loathing in Elementary School
November 29th, an 8 year old girl brought small cups of jello to her grade school to sell to other kids at the rate of 3 for a dollar, presumably at her mother's request to earn money for Christmas. A very politically correct teacher who knew that the girl's mom works in a bar decided that they must have been alcohol-laced.
So the 8 year old was suspended for 9 days for violating the school's rule against possessing or distributing something that LOOKS like it might contain drugs or alcohol.
There was no alcohol in the jello (gasp!), but the child has to now go under counseling and undergo drug testing to ensure that she is, in fact, clean.
"The school system's position is, it doesn't matter if it had alcohol in it or not," stated the school's spokesperson.
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Music to Clear Out Pubs
A study has been completed and it can now be conclusively stated that the best way to get drinkers to leave a bar at closing time around Christmas is to play the 1988 hit Mistletoe and Wine, by 64 year old Cliff Richard.
Bar owners observed drinkers' reactions to a variety of holiday music at closing and found they would clear out fastest to Cliff, but also determined to be turn-offs were Silent Night (regardless of version) and Elvis' Blue Christmas.
Speaking of clearing out bars...
Sauerwine, that band that most decidedly did NOT suck last month at Stoney's in Wilmington DE is planning to not suck yet again tomorrow night! A rocking festivus is to be had at 4W5 Café in downtown Wilmington. The specific address is 4 West 5th Street (get it? 4W5 Café? Get it? Get it? Huh? I can't hear you! Seriously, it should be fabulous and I only wish I could attend myself! So go listen to excellent music and get snockered for me,eh?
Let it officially be stated: Sauerwine does not suck. Sauerwine, in fact, does rock. Most mightily so. http://www.sauerwine.com/
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Oops! Accidental Oral Sex!
Last year a 49 year old truck driver became concerned about a rash on his chest and legs, so he went to the Throggs Neck Urgent Medical Care facility in the Bronx to get it checked out.
He was unlucky enough to become the patient of one Brian Shaw of Wilton, CT. Brian apparently forgot where he was during his medical examination of Mr Trucker and accidentally ended up performing oral sex upon him!
Mr Trucker did not appreciate said action, and pressed charges. Brian now is on 6 years probation and had to surrender his medical license.
Interestingly enough, Brian was acquitted of pretty much the same type charges in 2002.
D'oh!
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Ugh. Heard about this the other day, but was out of office/not publishing...
Fear and Loathing in Elementary School
November 29th, an 8 year old girl brought small cups of jello to her grade school to sell to other kids at the rate of 3 for a dollar, presumably at her mother's request to earn money for Christmas. A very politically correct teacher who knew that the girl's mom works in a bar decided that they must have been alcohol-laced.
So the 8 year old was suspended for 9 days for violating the school's rule against possessing or distributing something that LOOKS like it might contain drugs or alcohol.
There was no alcohol in the jello (gasp!), but the child has to now go under counseling and undergo drug testing to ensure that she is, in fact, clean.
"The school system's position is, it doesn't matter if it had alcohol in it or not," stated the school's spokesperson.
####################
Music to Clear Out Pubs
A study has been completed and it can now be conclusively stated that the best way to get drinkers to leave a bar at closing time around Christmas is to play the 1988 hit Mistletoe and Wine, by 64 year old Cliff Richard.
Bar owners observed drinkers' reactions to a variety of holiday music at closing and found they would clear out fastest to Cliff, but also determined to be turn-offs were Silent Night (regardless of version) and Elvis' Blue Christmas.
Speaking of clearing out bars...
Sauerwine, that band that most decidedly did NOT suck last month at Stoney's in Wilmington DE is planning to not suck yet again tomorrow night! A rocking festivus is to be had at 4W5 Café in downtown Wilmington. The specific address is 4 West 5th Street (get it? 4W5 Café? Get it? Get it? Huh? I can't hear you! Seriously, it should be fabulous and I only wish I could attend myself! So go listen to excellent music and get snockered for me,eh?
Let it officially be stated: Sauerwine does not suck. Sauerwine, in fact, does rock. Most mightily so. http://www.sauerwine.com/
######################
Oops! Accidental Oral Sex!
Last year a 49 year old truck driver became concerned about a rash on his chest and legs, so he went to the Throggs Neck Urgent Medical Care facility in the Bronx to get it checked out.
He was unlucky enough to become the patient of one Brian Shaw of Wilton, CT. Brian apparently forgot where he was during his medical examination of Mr Trucker and accidentally ended up performing oral sex upon him!
Mr Trucker did not appreciate said action, and pressed charges. Brian now is on 6 years probation and had to surrender his medical license.
Interestingly enough, Brian was acquitted of pretty much the same type charges in 2002.
D'oh!
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