Monday, October 04, 2004
Today in History: October 4 many years ago. Or maybe Oct 5. Tom Hayden might have been born. But he's not telling, cause he's a secretive guy.
Also on this day: Oct 4 1986 Network news anchorman Dan Rather is mugged in New York City. The attacker, one William Tager, shouts the question "What's the frequency, Kenneth?" during the beating. While the "frequency" refers to the wavelength of the transmissions that CBS was beaming into Tager's head, history is still unclear on exactly who "Kenneth" is or why R.E.M. would record a song about it. --dailyrotten
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Many people say 'my life is a soap opera' or 'my life is a movie'...well NOW you can RATE your life using the MPAA rating system! My life is rated NC-17 (YAY!). What's your life's rating?
http://www.readingforresults.com/rating/quiz.htm
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Vibrator closes airport
Lynne Bryant and her staff were working hard scrubbing the cafeteria at Mackay Airport (Australia) when they heard an odd humming noise coming out of a nearby trash can.
They stopped their rubbing and decided to go down to the can and see if they could find the spot where the noise came from.
They called security to see if a man in uniform could come with them. Security obliged, clearing out the airport and stopping flights for an hour or so.
Though it was a messy job, a security guard dove in and found the offender: a vibrator. Gee!
Looking back, Lynne says it really did sound like a vibrator, but it was good to be safe and have proper protection around when this situation came up.
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From Harold 'Snausages' Friedline....
Choking the Chicken Leads to Disaster for Romanian Man
67 year old Constantin Mocanu of Romania, got really really mad at a noisy chicken that was keeping him...up at night. So he raced out of his home in his undies, determined to rid the earth of the offending fowl.
In his haste to kill the bird, Constantin accidentally grabbed his own penis instead of the chicken's neck, and lopped the bugger off! His helpful hound dog then rushed up and ate it!
Constantin has received emergency treatment and is expected to recover, as much as one who accidentally fed his penis to his dog CAN recover.
His explanation? "I confused it with the chicken's neck...I cut it ... and the dog rushed and ate it."
Bad dog!!!
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Another Bad Dog/Chicken story
Spaso Ivosevic, a hunter from Croatia, became the Hunted this past week. Dude cleaned and loaded his shotgun and leaned it agains the wall of his house as he prepped for his weekly hunting trip.
His evil hound, chasing chickens in the yard, raced by and tripped over the shotgun. Shotgun fired, and Spaso got a thigh full of pellets. Spaso's leg bone was fractured as a result.
Spaso is expected to have a full recovery. No news on the fate of his dog.
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News flash: It is possible for a human male to put 37 pieces of assorted bubblegum varieties into his mouth and still function for 15 minutes before succumbing to a certain level of nausea. Most impressive to this reporter: a bubble can still be successfully blown even with 37 pieces of chewing gum wadded in the mouth.
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Woman Balks at Butter Feat
A woman working in Wilmington, DE, is learning that it is best not to promise things you have no intention of delivering. Perhaps it's a Canadian trait, as she is an import. The woman, who cannot be identified without this editor being bludgeoned about the head, agreed on Friday 1 Oct 2004 that she would eat one (1) stick of cold butter (lightly salted) and keep it down for 60 minutes for the paltry sum of $125. The collection of said money is ongoing, by the way. Contact Lord Mutter if interested.
Apparently she is getting cold feet at this time and is attempting to back out of the wager, citing fear of intestinal distress. Attempting to make use of the Fear Factor argument - "On fear factor you can barf within 15 seconds if needed", the tapdancing has begun with great vigor. As has been pointed out by the Prime Coordinator of this event, "On fear factor you're eating boiled eyes, intestine, and sex organ. On "Juniper" factor you're eating butter."
Will the desperate Canadian save face and eat the butter? Or will she back away in fear from the dairy product, and be haunted by her failure forever?
Stay tuned for updates!
Also on this day: Oct 4 1986 Network news anchorman Dan Rather is mugged in New York City. The attacker, one William Tager, shouts the question "What's the frequency, Kenneth?" during the beating. While the "frequency" refers to the wavelength of the transmissions that CBS was beaming into Tager's head, history is still unclear on exactly who "Kenneth" is or why R.E.M. would record a song about it. --dailyrotten
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Many people say 'my life is a soap opera' or 'my life is a movie'...well NOW you can RATE your life using the MPAA rating system! My life is rated NC-17 (YAY!). What's your life's rating?
http://www.readingforresults.com/rating/quiz.htm
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Vibrator closes airport
Lynne Bryant and her staff were working hard scrubbing the cafeteria at Mackay Airport (Australia) when they heard an odd humming noise coming out of a nearby trash can.
They stopped their rubbing and decided to go down to the can and see if they could find the spot where the noise came from.
They called security to see if a man in uniform could come with them. Security obliged, clearing out the airport and stopping flights for an hour or so.
Though it was a messy job, a security guard dove in and found the offender: a vibrator. Gee!
Looking back, Lynne says it really did sound like a vibrator, but it was good to be safe and have proper protection around when this situation came up.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
From Harold 'Snausages' Friedline....
Choking the Chicken Leads to Disaster for Romanian Man
67 year old Constantin Mocanu of Romania, got really really mad at a noisy chicken that was keeping him...up at night. So he raced out of his home in his undies, determined to rid the earth of the offending fowl.
In his haste to kill the bird, Constantin accidentally grabbed his own penis instead of the chicken's neck, and lopped the bugger off! His helpful hound dog then rushed up and ate it!
Constantin has received emergency treatment and is expected to recover, as much as one who accidentally fed his penis to his dog CAN recover.
His explanation? "I confused it with the chicken's neck...I cut it ... and the dog rushed and ate it."
Bad dog!!!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Another Bad Dog/Chicken story
Spaso Ivosevic, a hunter from Croatia, became the Hunted this past week. Dude cleaned and loaded his shotgun and leaned it agains the wall of his house as he prepped for his weekly hunting trip.
His evil hound, chasing chickens in the yard, raced by and tripped over the shotgun. Shotgun fired, and Spaso got a thigh full of pellets. Spaso's leg bone was fractured as a result.
Spaso is expected to have a full recovery. No news on the fate of his dog.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
News flash: It is possible for a human male to put 37 pieces of assorted bubblegum varieties into his mouth and still function for 15 minutes before succumbing to a certain level of nausea. Most impressive to this reporter: a bubble can still be successfully blown even with 37 pieces of chewing gum wadded in the mouth.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Woman Balks at Butter Feat
A woman working in Wilmington, DE, is learning that it is best not to promise things you have no intention of delivering. Perhaps it's a Canadian trait, as she is an import. The woman, who cannot be identified without this editor being bludgeoned about the head, agreed on Friday 1 Oct 2004 that she would eat one (1) stick of cold butter (lightly salted) and keep it down for 60 minutes for the paltry sum of $125. The collection of said money is ongoing, by the way. Contact Lord Mutter if interested.
Apparently she is getting cold feet at this time and is attempting to back out of the wager, citing fear of intestinal distress. Attempting to make use of the Fear Factor argument - "On fear factor you can barf within 15 seconds if needed", the tapdancing has begun with great vigor. As has been pointed out by the Prime Coordinator of this event, "On fear factor you're eating boiled eyes, intestine, and sex organ. On "Juniper" factor you're eating butter."
Will the desperate Canadian save face and eat the butter? Or will she back away in fear from the dairy product, and be haunted by her failure forever?
Stay tuned for updates!
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