Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Today in History: Aug 4 1892 Someone takes an axe and kills Lizzie Borden's millionaire parents. Andrew receives 10 whacks, and Abby 14. Lizzie didn't do it. And between golf excursions she conducted numerous hunts to find 'the real killer'. Oh wait, that wasn't Lizzie...
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Electoral Vote Predictor. Interesting.
Protect Yourself!
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Lost: 400 ton steel bridge
Big steel bridge, broken into many parts. Last seen in a warehouse in Gdansk, Poland. Somehow has disappeared. Great sentimental value. Please call if you've seen it!
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Why Johnny Can't Read excuse 427
According to health educator Taylor Grant, there is a direct relationship between the increase in kids' homework and childhood obesity rates rising. Taylor says that not only does the increase in time spent sitting and thinking contribute to the problem, but also the increase in homework has led to a rise in anxiety levels in the kiddo's. Kids get anxious, and they turn - where - to FOOD!
The Clearwater FL educator is requesting that parents stand up for their kids: "For the good of kids, parents need to say, `Put down that homework and get outside and play!'
How about the parents stock the house with good for you snack foods, and let the kids play before or after the homework is done?
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Mmmmm Weiners...
Shirley Giarrusso LOVES her weiners like a champion. And now, is being recognized for it. Tomorrow (Aug 5th), Shirly will be officially named "America's Most Enthusiastic Bratwurst Sausage Lover" at the annual Brat Days festival in Sheboygan, WI.
She loves her sausage SO much, in fact, that she is even going to see how many she can suck down in 10 minutes at the festival. Whoo hoo!
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Don't Play in the Fountain!
How many times has Mom said 'don't play in the fountain'? Well, a 14 year old boy in Hong Kong ignored the sage advice and stuck his hand in a fountain hoping to catch a fish (derrrr).
Turns out the fish caught him, as someone had disposed of their pet piranhas in the fountain.
Chomp Chomp Chomp went the little fishies. Waaaah Eeeek Ew went the boy.
He only needed three stitches (darn), but the fountain was drained as a result. The offending pirahnas are now deceased.
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It's the Heat
Markus Miller is an angry ice cream man. So angry in fact, that when an 18 year old woman had a battle with him (over which flavor ice cream, I don't know), Markus went back in his truck, grabbed his pistol, and shot her.
He was aiming for her feet (just to scare her, ya see), but shrapnel or something still managed to get her in the collar bone.
"It is not a normal or legal thing, anywhere in the country to carry a handgun without a permit while selling ice cream," said Sergeant Eric Holtzclaw, a spokesman with the Enid, OK, Police Department.
NOTE: THAT IS SPECIFICALLY WHILE SELLING ICE CREAM, people! Don't go getting all 'crazy' on me, now!
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Christmas Not Cancelled in South Africa
Despite reports to the contrary, Home Affairs Minister Nosiviwe Mapisa-Nqakula has assured South Africans that Christmas is still on in their fine land. There's been a flurry of upset since the Sunday Times reported that Christmas may be on the outs, so Nosiviwe made it official that it's still an okay holiday.
However, kids still can't write to Santa. Nosiviwe still stands by the ban, because it's wrong to "profit from the natural credulity of children [and perpetuate] a falsehood that could break the fragile spirits of the already disillusioned youth of South Africa."
Ho ho ho.
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Electoral Vote Predictor. Interesting.
Protect Yourself!
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Lost: 400 ton steel bridge
Big steel bridge, broken into many parts. Last seen in a warehouse in Gdansk, Poland. Somehow has disappeared. Great sentimental value. Please call if you've seen it!
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Why Johnny Can't Read excuse 427
According to health educator Taylor Grant, there is a direct relationship between the increase in kids' homework and childhood obesity rates rising. Taylor says that not only does the increase in time spent sitting and thinking contribute to the problem, but also the increase in homework has led to a rise in anxiety levels in the kiddo's. Kids get anxious, and they turn - where - to FOOD!
The Clearwater FL educator is requesting that parents stand up for their kids: "For the good of kids, parents need to say, `Put down that homework and get outside and play!'
How about the parents stock the house with good for you snack foods, and let the kids play before or after the homework is done?
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Mmmmm Weiners...
Shirley Giarrusso LOVES her weiners like a champion. And now, is being recognized for it. Tomorrow (Aug 5th), Shirly will be officially named "America's Most Enthusiastic Bratwurst Sausage Lover" at the annual Brat Days festival in Sheboygan, WI.
She loves her sausage SO much, in fact, that she is even going to see how many she can suck down in 10 minutes at the festival. Whoo hoo!
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Don't Play in the Fountain!
How many times has Mom said 'don't play in the fountain'? Well, a 14 year old boy in Hong Kong ignored the sage advice and stuck his hand in a fountain hoping to catch a fish (derrrr).
Turns out the fish caught him, as someone had disposed of their pet piranhas in the fountain.
Chomp Chomp Chomp went the little fishies. Waaaah Eeeek Ew went the boy.
He only needed three stitches (darn), but the fountain was drained as a result. The offending pirahnas are now deceased.
***************************************
It's the Heat
Markus Miller is an angry ice cream man. So angry in fact, that when an 18 year old woman had a battle with him (over which flavor ice cream, I don't know), Markus went back in his truck, grabbed his pistol, and shot her.
He was aiming for her feet (just to scare her, ya see), but shrapnel or something still managed to get her in the collar bone.
"It is not a normal or legal thing, anywhere in the country to carry a handgun without a permit while selling ice cream," said Sergeant Eric Holtzclaw, a spokesman with the Enid, OK, Police Department.
NOTE: THAT IS SPECIFICALLY WHILE SELLING ICE CREAM, people! Don't go getting all 'crazy' on me, now!
*********************************
Christmas Not Cancelled in South Africa
Despite reports to the contrary, Home Affairs Minister Nosiviwe Mapisa-Nqakula has assured South Africans that Christmas is still on in their fine land. There's been a flurry of upset since the Sunday Times reported that Christmas may be on the outs, so Nosiviwe made it official that it's still an okay holiday.
However, kids still can't write to Santa. Nosiviwe still stands by the ban, because it's wrong to "profit from the natural credulity of children [and perpetuate] a falsehood that could break the fragile spirits of the already disillusioned youth of South Africa."
Ho ho ho.
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