Monday, August 09, 2004
This day in history: Aug 9 1995 Jerry Garcia dies of a heart attack at Serenity Knolls near Novato, California. He had checked himself into the drug rehab center a few days prior, in hopes of kicking his longstanding heroin habit. A moment of silence, if you please.
************************
(insert moment of silence here)
************************
Website of the moment: Scads of optical illusions to help you recover from the weekend's revelry.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Here Kitty Kitty!
In Dolagobind, Orissa, school's out for the time being. Seems the school has been taken over by feline spirits which have been possessing the bodies of young girls, and it's just too disruptive to continue classes.
In the past two weeks, at least a dozen girls have suddenly fainted then, upon waking up, started behaving like cats. According to teachers at the school, the bewitched girls (aged between 8 and 12) have been seen clawing their own faces and shrieking like cats in heat.
"First three girls fell down when they came to school. We thought they hadn't had food so we gave them something to eat but after that also they were not normal and behaved strangely," said school headmistress Manjubala Pande. "Next day again some six-seven girls started crying, fell down on the floor making sounds like that of a cat. We immediately informed others in the village but after the faintings and behaviour repeated, we were forced to shut the school," he added.
Necromancers have been called in to remove the evil spirits, and the girls have been made to recite Vedic mantras and take part in fire rituals to purge the spirits. Parents state that the girls are getting better, but the girls do not recall the time frame of their feline state.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
From the Illustrious Lord Mutter:
Can You Name All 53 States?
The California Alternative High School is at risk of being shut down due to its alternative views of American History, and the slew of 'high school diplomas' its been handing out to immigrants desperate to live and grow in the land of opportunity. Seems the CAHS charged its students anywhere from $450 to $1,450 for a 10 week course based on a 54 page book of...er...crap.
Among the information that will no doubt help graduates of CAHS to obtain citizenship:
Congress has 2 houses: the Senate for Democrats, and the House for Republicans
The Federal Administrative branch oversees the Treasury Department
America has 53 states, we just forgot to update the flag when we added Alaska, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico (?the state?) to the ORIGINAL 50 states.
WWII, contrary to popular opinion, actually occurred from 1938 to 1942.
And if you want to catch a really good play on Broadway, check out "Death of a Traveling Salesman" - it's a classic!
CAHS isn't going quietly, though. They are actively expanding operations throughout the nation.
I believe that, in doing so, they are simply exercising their Marimba Rights.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Thanks to the usually reserved Harold Friedline for this little nugget:
I'll Show Her!
YAY! Another example of cutting one's nose off to spite one's face. Or something akin to it.
This time a 70 year old Moroccan man was upset that his wife had been refusing to have sex with him and lopped off his manhood. He was taken to the hospital, but forgot to bring the offending appendage. So he was sewn up and sent back home sans wing ding.
"He didn't bring his penis with him. He has left the hospital well, but without his penis," a doctor from the Ibn Toufail hospital told Reuters on Saturday.
I wonder if his wife will even notice?
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
No, I am NOT Obsessed. Much.
33 year old Constantin Dugulan from Rovinari, Romania, was so moved by reading about a doctor that accidentally chopped off a guy's staff of power during testicular surgery (as previously reported by this up-to-the-moment reporter), that he wants to sell his own power rod to the unintentional loppage victim.
Constantin is short on cash and not terribly interested in sex, so he's proposed this unique penile transplant surgery. "I am not sure this operation is possible but if it is I am ready to give up my penis for a better life."
He previously tried to sell other partially-used body parts, including one of his kidneys and an eyeball, but without success.
Perhaps he'll have better luck with this sale.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
In Laws. Ugh.
Steve and Kim Stillwell were married last Saturday, in a wonderful ceremony in Sheridan, IL. After all was done, Kim and Steve went to Steve's mom's house to pick up their kiddos before embarking on their family honey moon.
Steve and mom (Georgia) had a fight, and mom drove off in a huff with one of the child car seats in her auto. Kim hopped in her own car and chased after Mom. Caught up with her, and started to talk with her through the open window of Georgia's car.
Georgia got tired of talking and therefore drove off. With Kim still hanging in the window. Kim was dragged behind the car for about 25 yards, and was rushed to the local hospital with internal bleeding and torn muscles. She was released from the hospital Wednesday.
Georgia says it was all a big mistake: she would never hurt her grandchildren's mommy! "Even when the cops arrested me, I kept asking how she was doing. They're making me sound like I did it on purpose. It was an accident."
When you get married, you are marrying the family, not just the individual.
Cheers to you, Kim!
************************
(insert moment of silence here)
************************
Website of the moment: Scads of optical illusions to help you recover from the weekend's revelry.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Here Kitty Kitty!
In Dolagobind, Orissa, school's out for the time being. Seems the school has been taken over by feline spirits which have been possessing the bodies of young girls, and it's just too disruptive to continue classes.
In the past two weeks, at least a dozen girls have suddenly fainted then, upon waking up, started behaving like cats. According to teachers at the school, the bewitched girls (aged between 8 and 12) have been seen clawing their own faces and shrieking like cats in heat.
"First three girls fell down when they came to school. We thought they hadn't had food so we gave them something to eat but after that also they were not normal and behaved strangely," said school headmistress Manjubala Pande. "Next day again some six-seven girls started crying, fell down on the floor making sounds like that of a cat. We immediately informed others in the village but after the faintings and behaviour repeated, we were forced to shut the school," he added.
Necromancers have been called in to remove the evil spirits, and the girls have been made to recite Vedic mantras and take part in fire rituals to purge the spirits. Parents state that the girls are getting better, but the girls do not recall the time frame of their feline state.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
From the Illustrious Lord Mutter:
Can You Name All 53 States?
The California Alternative High School is at risk of being shut down due to its alternative views of American History, and the slew of 'high school diplomas' its been handing out to immigrants desperate to live and grow in the land of opportunity. Seems the CAHS charged its students anywhere from $450 to $1,450 for a 10 week course based on a 54 page book of...er...crap.
Among the information that will no doubt help graduates of CAHS to obtain citizenship:
Congress has 2 houses: the Senate for Democrats, and the House for Republicans
The Federal Administrative branch oversees the Treasury Department
America has 53 states, we just forgot to update the flag when we added Alaska, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico (?the state?) to the ORIGINAL 50 states.
WWII, contrary to popular opinion, actually occurred from 1938 to 1942.
And if you want to catch a really good play on Broadway, check out "Death of a Traveling Salesman" - it's a classic!
CAHS isn't going quietly, though. They are actively expanding operations throughout the nation.
I believe that, in doing so, they are simply exercising their Marimba Rights.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Thanks to the usually reserved Harold Friedline for this little nugget:
I'll Show Her!
YAY! Another example of cutting one's nose off to spite one's face. Or something akin to it.
This time a 70 year old Moroccan man was upset that his wife had been refusing to have sex with him and lopped off his manhood. He was taken to the hospital, but forgot to bring the offending appendage. So he was sewn up and sent back home sans wing ding.
"He didn't bring his penis with him. He has left the hospital well, but without his penis," a doctor from the Ibn Toufail hospital told Reuters on Saturday.
I wonder if his wife will even notice?
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
No, I am NOT Obsessed. Much.
33 year old Constantin Dugulan from Rovinari, Romania, was so moved by reading about a doctor that accidentally chopped off a guy's staff of power during testicular surgery (as previously reported by this up-to-the-moment reporter), that he wants to sell his own power rod to the unintentional loppage victim.
Constantin is short on cash and not terribly interested in sex, so he's proposed this unique penile transplant surgery. "I am not sure this operation is possible but if it is I am ready to give up my penis for a better life."
He previously tried to sell other partially-used body parts, including one of his kidneys and an eyeball, but without success.
Perhaps he'll have better luck with this sale.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
In Laws. Ugh.
Steve and Kim Stillwell were married last Saturday, in a wonderful ceremony in Sheridan, IL. After all was done, Kim and Steve went to Steve's mom's house to pick up their kiddos before embarking on their family honey moon.
Steve and mom (Georgia) had a fight, and mom drove off in a huff with one of the child car seats in her auto. Kim hopped in her own car and chased after Mom. Caught up with her, and started to talk with her through the open window of Georgia's car.
Georgia got tired of talking and therefore drove off. With Kim still hanging in the window. Kim was dragged behind the car for about 25 yards, and was rushed to the local hospital with internal bleeding and torn muscles. She was released from the hospital Wednesday.
Georgia says it was all a big mistake: she would never hurt her grandchildren's mommy! "Even when the cops arrested me, I kept asking how she was doing. They're making me sound like I did it on purpose. It was an accident."
When you get married, you are marrying the family, not just the individual.
Cheers to you, Kim!
Comments:
Post a Comment
