Daily Drivel

OMG. I'm getting all these requests for the daily missive! GAK! So here's a rush job. A quickie, if you will.

I have no idea what happened today in history and frankly, I don't care.

There are no amusing links out there today. They instituted a moratorium on all fun websites just for today. Bummer, eh?

No penile choppage to report on. So sad.

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Jack Sprat Would Eat No...

Allah Wasayo from Pingrio, Pakistan, is in serious need of some matchmaking. Or of a good dietician. Allah has been mourning the fact that he can't seem to get married. Women keep on turning down his marriage proposals because his eating habits are so odd that their families fear that he will digest the woman who marries him!

Too cool!

Allah enjoys eating carpets, teacups, the occasional light, glass and grass...oh, and lots of people food too. As Allah says, "All eatables taste the same to me. I eat carpets, cups, saucers, pieces of glass, pulao, chicken karahi and grass with the same fervour. My stomach has also been X-rayed but nothing wrong or abnormal was detected. And despite the fact that I eat so much, I don't have a paunch."

I wonder how he would do against Shirley the sausage lover...

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Ah HA! The Shepherd Stories are TRUE!

In South Africa, Northern Cape veterinarians are examining and interesting fetus found inside a sheep. What makes it interesting, you ask?

Its lower body resembles that of a human baby! It's tongue is like that of a human being! Part sheep, part human.

Disgruntled sheep, relaxed and happy shepherd.

Hmmmm.

The official statement by agricultural officials is that it's just a deformed lambikins whose mom was eating poisonous plants.

Uh huh.

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Police, Fire, and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

WBAL-TV in Baltimore has obtained and published a copy of an emergency call placed in Anne Arundel MD Wednesday morning. Patricia Berg called for police assistance, but apparently her story to the dispatcher just wasn't interesting enough:

Caller: Ah, I was woken up ... (inaudible) ... You know when someone runs your hand across a pane of glass, how it makes that noise? The only place I can think of is my sliding glass door, and I woke up to check it out. I didn't see anything.
Operator: (Snoring) (SNORING CONTINUES FOR 1 MINUTE AND 48 SECONDS BEFORE DISPATCHER AWAKENS)
Caller: Hello?
Operator: Yes, Hello?
Caller: I was just wondering if you were still there.
Operator: Yes ... (inaudible) What's the problem?
Caller: I already told you. You don't remember me letting you know what is wrong?

Patty got miffed and complained to the 911 supervisor on duty, and for now the operator is on vacation. Perhaps getting some much needed rest.

Police are trying to figure out what to do with the tenured operator: "Well, I'm not sure that you can train someone to stay awake. Again, we have to find out exactly why that occurred," said a police spokesman.

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