Thursday, July 08, 2004
Today in History: July 8, 1969 - The U.S. Patent Office issued a patent for the game "Twister." Ironic year there, eh? Nekkie Twister....yeaaaaahhhhh....
***********************
F For Forest
Greenpeace is getting a run for their money. An organization called F*** for Forest is dedicated to having sponsored sex in public to save the environment.
The latest high-profile...er...demonstration...occurred during a concert by Kristopher Schau and his band Cumshots, at the Quart music festival in Norway.
Tommy Hol Ellingsen and his hot girlfriend Leona Johansson jumped up on stage in the middle of the concert, and asked the audience "How far are you willing to go to save the world?" Then they stripped off their clothes and enthusiastically did IT to the grinding base of the band. (pictures are available on the web!)
They say they did it to save the rain forest (in spite of a lack of sponsors for this event), but the conventional tree hugger establishments are befuddled: "I can not see that this helps the work for the rainforest," said Lars Løvold, head of the Rainforest Foundation Norway.
Well, it sure does get attention at least! And is much less irritating than Greenpeace in their little rafts...
****************************
Lost N Found
Lost: One Thumb. Approximately 45 years old. Opposable. Last seen caught in rope swing at St Edwards State Park, Kenmore WA. Great sentimental value. Owner previously very attached to it.
If found, please notify Evergreen Hospital. Owner will be waiting there.
Found:
The wayward thumb was located by police, who put the offending digit in a bag of ice & transported it to the hapless victim for reattachment. No word on whether or not it will become functional again.
***********************
True Love
A professor from Cairo is suing his new wife for divorce and claiming damages of over 50k after discovering on his wedding night that his young, lovely wife whom he loves more than life itself is in fact...bald.
After running his fingers through wifey's hair as she slept, Prof "was horrified to find that it was a wig", and is also lodging a complaint for deception along with the divorce and damages.
The woman had lost her hair after a childhood illness has worn a wig ever since.
Apparently, love can't hold a candle to a good thick head of hair.
**************************
Words From Beyond the Grave
Robert Barros of Burlingame, CA, has filed a patent application for a new and improved tombstone. Said tombstone will display audio/video messages from the dead person under it. The talking tombstone will have a flat touch screen and, using power from the cemetary's lighting system, will run a computer loaded with sweet memories for living people's enjoyment.
"It's history from the horse's mouth," says the designer.
I wonder if they could just have Office Space looping on it for eternity?
**********************
More Florida Weirdness.
Ricky, I don't even know why you ever moved there.
THIS time, a doctor was out walking his pet pig (Doc Hollywood?) in Tampa when **KA BLAM** lightening struck!
Doc sez, "The next thing I remember is my arms are flailing in front of me and I'm making all kinds of weird choking noises. I'm fully conscious. There's a metal gate behind me and I was pulled to that metal gate like a magnetic attraction."
Then Doc looked down and saw *gasp* that his former pet pig had become breakfast ham steak instead.
"The pig is a lifesaver. I've got the best pig in the world, even though he's dead. He served more of a purpose than just a barbeque on Sunday, that's for sure."
For sure.
***********************
F For Forest
Greenpeace is getting a run for their money. An organization called F*** for Forest is dedicated to having sponsored sex in public to save the environment.
The latest high-profile...er...demonstration...occurred during a concert by Kristopher Schau and his band Cumshots, at the Quart music festival in Norway.
Tommy Hol Ellingsen and his hot girlfriend Leona Johansson jumped up on stage in the middle of the concert, and asked the audience "How far are you willing to go to save the world?" Then they stripped off their clothes and enthusiastically did IT to the grinding base of the band. (pictures are available on the web!)
They say they did it to save the rain forest (in spite of a lack of sponsors for this event), but the conventional tree hugger establishments are befuddled: "I can not see that this helps the work for the rainforest," said Lars Løvold, head of the Rainforest Foundation Norway.
Well, it sure does get attention at least! And is much less irritating than Greenpeace in their little rafts...
****************************
Lost N Found
Lost: One Thumb. Approximately 45 years old. Opposable. Last seen caught in rope swing at St Edwards State Park, Kenmore WA. Great sentimental value. Owner previously very attached to it.
If found, please notify Evergreen Hospital. Owner will be waiting there.
Found:
The wayward thumb was located by police, who put the offending digit in a bag of ice & transported it to the hapless victim for reattachment. No word on whether or not it will become functional again.
***********************
True Love
A professor from Cairo is suing his new wife for divorce and claiming damages of over 50k after discovering on his wedding night that his young, lovely wife whom he loves more than life itself is in fact...bald.
After running his fingers through wifey's hair as she slept, Prof "was horrified to find that it was a wig", and is also lodging a complaint for deception along with the divorce and damages.
The woman had lost her hair after a childhood illness has worn a wig ever since.
Apparently, love can't hold a candle to a good thick head of hair.
**************************
Words From Beyond the Grave
Robert Barros of Burlingame, CA, has filed a patent application for a new and improved tombstone. Said tombstone will display audio/video messages from the dead person under it. The talking tombstone will have a flat touch screen and, using power from the cemetary's lighting system, will run a computer loaded with sweet memories for living people's enjoyment.
"It's history from the horse's mouth," says the designer.
I wonder if they could just have Office Space looping on it for eternity?
**********************
More Florida Weirdness.
Ricky, I don't even know why you ever moved there.
THIS time, a doctor was out walking his pet pig (Doc Hollywood?) in Tampa when **KA BLAM** lightening struck!
Doc sez, "The next thing I remember is my arms are flailing in front of me and I'm making all kinds of weird choking noises. I'm fully conscious. There's a metal gate behind me and I was pulled to that metal gate like a magnetic attraction."
Then Doc looked down and saw *gasp* that his former pet pig had become breakfast ham steak instead.
"The pig is a lifesaver. I've got the best pig in the world, even though he's dead. He served more of a purpose than just a barbeque on Sunday, that's for sure."
For sure.
Comments:
Post a Comment
