Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Today in History: Jul 7 1348 The Black Death makes its first appearance in England.
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From the Isle of Lord Mutter
Leopards Dining On Bombay Residents
Hungry leopards have started feasting heavily upon human buffet lines in Bombay: 10 tender humans eaten in just the past month, a total of 14 this year. The leopards reside in a 40 sq mile forest, Sanjay Gandhi National Park, in the Northern part of Bombay.
There are concerns about just WHY the kitties are roaming outside of their designated zone, especially with over 16 million tasty appetizers living and working in Bombay. Tree huggers are blaming a shortage of prey in the forest, so they've decided to start releasing about 500 pigs and dozens of bunnies into the forest for the cats to eat.
While waiting to find out if the piggies and bunnies will satisfy the meatlust of the kitties, soldiers in armor and headgear are posted about the forest to stop the protected animals from attacking the humans.
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Inlaw Love
Maureen Plambeck had a little problem with her ex-sister-inlaw. So she decided to 'scare' the inlaw by spiking her margarita with anti-freeze. What a surprise that the victim ended up in the hospital for 3 days and nearly died. Maureen swears she didn't mean to kill her. She only wanted to scare her.
And she can keep swearing that for then next 26 years as she rots in prison.
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Beckhams replaced by performing seals
David Beckham and his wife Victoria (posh spice) scored a coveted interview on the Jay Leno show, but decided that they were having too much fun hanging out on vacation in Marrakesh. So they backed out at the last minute.
So the network had to find an equivalent pair of guests to hold viewers' attention.
They replaced the world-renowned soccer player and his wench with... a display of performing seals from SeaWorld.
Now if that's not an ego-booster for David and Vic, I don't know what is.
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If It's Not on Video It Didn't Happen
A motorist in Oxfordshire got miffed when he realized that his speedy car had been videod by speed camera and he was destined for a fine. So he pulled his car over, grabbed the camera, smashed it open, and stole the film.
Many other drivers in the area are exceedingly thankful to the mysterious speeder.
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Just a little freaky.
36 year old Desiree Lee Campasano apparently was a troubled individual. After falling off her motor scooter on the 79th street causeway in Miami, she clonked her head and died. This is troublesome, however the REALLY weird thing was, carved on her stomach were the words 'HELP ME'.
Police are intrigued by the situation: "This is one of those Twilight Zone-type accidents with a message from the woman after her death," according to Lt Bill Schwartz, police spokesman.
Doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo
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More Head Clonking
Sara Denoyer and her boyfriend went to watch the Seattle Mariners play (and lose to ) the St Louis Cardinals. They had great seats: right on the first base line. Wow.
Early in the game, a foul ball went up and BAM! Slammed Sara in her neck. OUCH!
Then in the 9th inning - WHAPP! Another foul ball bops her right in the head. She ended up going to the hospital for observation for a night.
Most people try catching the fouls in their hands/mitts. Huh.
******************
From the Isle of Lord Mutter
Leopards Dining On Bombay Residents
Hungry leopards have started feasting heavily upon human buffet lines in Bombay: 10 tender humans eaten in just the past month, a total of 14 this year. The leopards reside in a 40 sq mile forest, Sanjay Gandhi National Park, in the Northern part of Bombay.
There are concerns about just WHY the kitties are roaming outside of their designated zone, especially with over 16 million tasty appetizers living and working in Bombay. Tree huggers are blaming a shortage of prey in the forest, so they've decided to start releasing about 500 pigs and dozens of bunnies into the forest for the cats to eat.
While waiting to find out if the piggies and bunnies will satisfy the meatlust of the kitties, soldiers in armor and headgear are posted about the forest to stop the protected animals from attacking the humans.
***********************
Inlaw Love
Maureen Plambeck had a little problem with her ex-sister-inlaw. So she decided to 'scare' the inlaw by spiking her margarita with anti-freeze. What a surprise that the victim ended up in the hospital for 3 days and nearly died. Maureen swears she didn't mean to kill her. She only wanted to scare her.
And she can keep swearing that for then next 26 years as she rots in prison.
**************************
Beckhams replaced by performing seals
David Beckham and his wife Victoria (posh spice) scored a coveted interview on the Jay Leno show, but decided that they were having too much fun hanging out on vacation in Marrakesh. So they backed out at the last minute.
So the network had to find an equivalent pair of guests to hold viewers' attention.
They replaced the world-renowned soccer player and his wench with... a display of performing seals from SeaWorld.
Now if that's not an ego-booster for David and Vic, I don't know what is.
***************************
If It's Not on Video It Didn't Happen
A motorist in Oxfordshire got miffed when he realized that his speedy car had been videod by speed camera and he was destined for a fine. So he pulled his car over, grabbed the camera, smashed it open, and stole the film.
Many other drivers in the area are exceedingly thankful to the mysterious speeder.
********************************
Just a little freaky.
36 year old Desiree Lee Campasano apparently was a troubled individual. After falling off her motor scooter on the 79th street causeway in Miami, she clonked her head and died. This is troublesome, however the REALLY weird thing was, carved on her stomach were the words 'HELP ME'.
Police are intrigued by the situation: "This is one of those Twilight Zone-type accidents with a message from the woman after her death," according to Lt Bill Schwartz, police spokesman.
Doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo
**************************
More Head Clonking
Sara Denoyer and her boyfriend went to watch the Seattle Mariners play (and lose to ) the St Louis Cardinals. They had great seats: right on the first base line. Wow.
Early in the game, a foul ball went up and BAM! Slammed Sara in her neck. OUCH!
Then in the 9th inning - WHAPP! Another foul ball bops her right in the head. She ended up going to the hospital for observation for a night.
Most people try catching the fouls in their hands/mitts. Huh.
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