Friday, July 09, 2004
This Day in History: Jul 9 1952 Musical genius, alleged lyric thief, and all-around renaissance man John Tesh is born in Garden City, New York.
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From the Illustrious Lord Mutter (note: NOT from chief correspondent Glenn McMillen. Again.)
What's in a Name?
CA State Education Secretary Richard Riordan was at the Santa Barbara library last week helping to promote good will and summer reading. An adorable little six year old girl, Isis D'Luciano, popped up and asked Dick if he knew that her name means 'Egyptian goddess.'
Quick thinking Dick stunned camera crews and attendees alike by replying, "It means stupid dirty girl."
Isis insisted that no, it didn't mean stupid dirty girl - it meant Egyptian Goddess (dammit!) and Dick apologized, saying "Hey, that's nifty."
Kiddo's mom is apparently a confused American: she said that her daughter is fine and that she's "not going to sue them for therapy bills." Huh.
Not to worry: the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People got their panties in a bunch on Lila's behalf. Leading the defense was Democratic state Assemblyman Mervyn Dymally who pitched a hissy, saying Lila is "a little African-American girl. Would he (Riordan) have done that to a white girl?"
Merv even scheduled a protest by assorted civil rights organizations to express the outrage at this blatant racism.
Then he found out that little Lila is in fact a blonde-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian child.
Interestingly enough, Merv originally (when Lila was Black) was quoted as saying that Dick's comments were "outrageous and irresponsible." Next day, once race was determined, his office stated "To err is human; to forgive is divine...Race is not a factor in this issue...It is time for us to move on."
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Hey Kids! Talking Jesus Action Figure!
Herobuilders has added to their line of hero figures (Tony Blair, GW, Rudy Giuliani) and villain figures (Saddam, Osama, Saddam's dead son Uday) with "the ONLY real hero: Talking Our Lord Jesus Christ Action Figure."
Standing 12 inches tall and wearing stylish biblical robes, Jesus recites the Ten Commandments and can be yours for $24.95 + S&H.
To hear a sample of Jesus' voice (his ACTUAL VOICE!!!) go HERE
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Foot in Mouth
Podiatrist Russell J Ellicott, of Augusta GA, is ankle deep in trouble with Medicare. Seems he tried to get Medicare to foot the bill for over $400,000 worth of false procedures, some of which were supposedly done on people who don't even have feet!
Between January 1997 and June 2002, Russ claimed to have treated numerous patients for foot ailments (and toenail trimmings), including people with two feet in the grave and even a person who had been an amputee for nine years.
Dude has been indicted and if convicted could be cooling his heels for up to 15 years in prison, as well as paying back the funds he collected over those years.
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Bald Folks Eat Free
Folks who go to Gary's Uptown Restaurant and Bar in Lodi CA on a Wednesday get charged for their meals based upon how follicularly challenged they are! If you have less than 50% of your hair, you get up to 50% off your meal. Pure baldies eat free!
Baldies can either be shaved or au naturale. Gary doesn't care.
They even get a special Bald Person's Menu, which includes filet of snapper, flat iron steak and chicken fettuccine.
I think I should sue Gary for discrimination. Who's with me?
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A Pair of New Jersey Thinkers
Looks like an 18 year old uninsured driver in Vineland, NJ, couldn't follow the tradition of just receiving favors while driving the other night with his girlfriend. Nope. Witnesses state that the flexible young woman mounted her steed as he drove along. Apparently she blocked his view of the road and he smashed into a telephone pole.
The kids are alright, though they're in a heap of trouble.
Hopefully they've learned proper technique for fooling around when driving now.
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*****************
From the Illustrious Lord Mutter (note: NOT from chief correspondent Glenn McMillen. Again.)
What's in a Name?
CA State Education Secretary Richard Riordan was at the Santa Barbara library last week helping to promote good will and summer reading. An adorable little six year old girl, Isis D'Luciano, popped up and asked Dick if he knew that her name means 'Egyptian goddess.'
Quick thinking Dick stunned camera crews and attendees alike by replying, "It means stupid dirty girl."
Isis insisted that no, it didn't mean stupid dirty girl - it meant Egyptian Goddess (dammit!) and Dick apologized, saying "Hey, that's nifty."
Kiddo's mom is apparently a confused American: she said that her daughter is fine and that she's "not going to sue them for therapy bills." Huh.
Not to worry: the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People got their panties in a bunch on Lila's behalf. Leading the defense was Democratic state Assemblyman Mervyn Dymally who pitched a hissy, saying Lila is "a little African-American girl. Would he (Riordan) have done that to a white girl?"
Merv even scheduled a protest by assorted civil rights organizations to express the outrage at this blatant racism.
Then he found out that little Lila is in fact a blonde-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian child.
Interestingly enough, Merv originally (when Lila was Black) was quoted as saying that Dick's comments were "outrageous and irresponsible." Next day, once race was determined, his office stated "To err is human; to forgive is divine...Race is not a factor in this issue...It is time for us to move on."
****************
Hey Kids! Talking Jesus Action Figure!
Herobuilders has added to their line of hero figures (Tony Blair, GW, Rudy Giuliani) and villain figures (Saddam, Osama, Saddam's dead son Uday) with "the ONLY real hero: Talking Our Lord Jesus Christ Action Figure."
Standing 12 inches tall and wearing stylish biblical robes, Jesus recites the Ten Commandments and can be yours for $24.95 + S&H.
To hear a sample of Jesus' voice (his ACTUAL VOICE!!!) go HERE
****************
Foot in Mouth
Podiatrist Russell J Ellicott, of Augusta GA, is ankle deep in trouble with Medicare. Seems he tried to get Medicare to foot the bill for over $400,000 worth of false procedures, some of which were supposedly done on people who don't even have feet!
Between January 1997 and June 2002, Russ claimed to have treated numerous patients for foot ailments (and toenail trimmings), including people with two feet in the grave and even a person who had been an amputee for nine years.
Dude has been indicted and if convicted could be cooling his heels for up to 15 years in prison, as well as paying back the funds he collected over those years.
***********************
Bald Folks Eat Free
Folks who go to Gary's Uptown Restaurant and Bar in Lodi CA on a Wednesday get charged for their meals based upon how follicularly challenged they are! If you have less than 50% of your hair, you get up to 50% off your meal. Pure baldies eat free!
Baldies can either be shaved or au naturale. Gary doesn't care.
They even get a special Bald Person's Menu, which includes filet of snapper, flat iron steak and chicken fettuccine.
I think I should sue Gary for discrimination. Who's with me?
****************
A Pair of New Jersey Thinkers
Looks like an 18 year old uninsured driver in Vineland, NJ, couldn't follow the tradition of just receiving favors while driving the other night with his girlfriend. Nope. Witnesses state that the flexible young woman mounted her steed as he drove along. Apparently she blocked his view of the road and he smashed into a telephone pole.
The kids are alright, though they're in a heap of trouble.
Hopefully they've learned proper technique for fooling around when driving now.
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