Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Today in History: May 19 1992: 17-year-old Amy Fisher shoots Mary Jo Buttafuoco in the face. Amy had been having an affair with Mary Jo's 38-year-old husband Joey. Fisher winds up spending seven years in prison, and Mary Jo winds up with a plate in her head. --dailyrotten
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Thou Shalt Not View Bootleg Videos
Bishop Frantisek Tondra from Bratislava Slovakia, has announced to his Roman Catholic constituents that it is not only copyright infringement to view The Passion of the Christ on bootleg videos, but it is in fact a violation of the Ten Commandments. Now, you may not have noticed the 'Thou Shalt Not View Bootleg Videos' commandment before, but it's in there - diguised as the 'shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods' bit.
This, however, only applies to the Passion of the Christ. So those who are viewing bootleg copies of Kill Bill Vol 1 have no eternal damnation to fear as a result of their viewing proclivities.
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Here - Taste This!
A Junior at Odessa (TX) Highschool started ramping up his Darwin-targeted career last week. He drank an unknown chemical from his high school lab on a dare. Whatever the cocktail was, it caused him to spew blood from his nose and mouth as he staggered through the hallways of his school. He's in the hospital now. He's feeling better. He's going to stick to Fresca in the future, I think.
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Now THAT's a Mouthful!
John and May O'Hare had retired for the night in their camper, after a long day of touring Scotland. A silly bobber decided that their vehicle looked like a prime target for siphoning diesel fuel.
So under the cover of darkness, the thief pulled out his plastic siphon and his fuel container. So sad that he accidentally put the siphon into the camper's septic tank, rather than the fuel tank.
The thief diligently sucked up the...er...waste. And promptly threw up on the spot & ran.
Comment from John O'Hare? 'I hope the thief has learned from his experience and given up his evil ways.'
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Woman Tries to Gas Out Houseguests
A woman in Victorville, CA, got sick of some drug-dealing houseguests who had overstayed their welcome. So she did what any rational person would do. She opened up her oven's natural gas line in hopes of gassing them out of the place. However, even after filling the apartment with gas, the unwelcome guests stayed.
In fact, SHE is the one who became overcome by the fumes and ended up going to the hospital. Apparently she and her 59 year old boyfriend were scared of the coke dealers they had welcomed into their home for inexplicable reasons.
Now that attention has been brought to them and their activities, the two 'guests' will have new housing. A jail.
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Extreme Ironing Update (Cause I Know You Care):
Boston: Day Three of the Rowenta tour
The Ironing Invasion continues. Extreme ironers Steam, Starch, and Short-fuse have completed the Boston leg of the 2 week Rowenta Extreme Ironing Tour. They have successfully completed pressing competition on the amphibious Duck Tour Bus and also set up shop in front of the 'world famous' Cheers bar. Steam conducted an ironing board pyramid stunt in front of Fenuil Hall, much to the consternation of local police.
Steam adds: "We're off to South Dakota tomorrow ironing fans and I'm not sure how good the broadband access is; so we'll have to see when we can get our next update on the site."
Gallery:
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Thou Shalt Not View Bootleg Videos
Bishop Frantisek Tondra from Bratislava Slovakia, has announced to his Roman Catholic constituents that it is not only copyright infringement to view The Passion of the Christ on bootleg videos, but it is in fact a violation of the Ten Commandments. Now, you may not have noticed the 'Thou Shalt Not View Bootleg Videos' commandment before, but it's in there - diguised as the 'shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods' bit.
This, however, only applies to the Passion of the Christ. So those who are viewing bootleg copies of Kill Bill Vol 1 have no eternal damnation to fear as a result of their viewing proclivities.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Here - Taste This!
A Junior at Odessa (TX) Highschool started ramping up his Darwin-targeted career last week. He drank an unknown chemical from his high school lab on a dare. Whatever the cocktail was, it caused him to spew blood from his nose and mouth as he staggered through the hallways of his school. He's in the hospital now. He's feeling better. He's going to stick to Fresca in the future, I think.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Now THAT's a Mouthful!
John and May O'Hare had retired for the night in their camper, after a long day of touring Scotland. A silly bobber decided that their vehicle looked like a prime target for siphoning diesel fuel.
So under the cover of darkness, the thief pulled out his plastic siphon and his fuel container. So sad that he accidentally put the siphon into the camper's septic tank, rather than the fuel tank.
The thief diligently sucked up the...er...waste. And promptly threw up on the spot & ran.
Comment from John O'Hare? 'I hope the thief has learned from his experience and given up his evil ways.'
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Woman Tries to Gas Out Houseguests
A woman in Victorville, CA, got sick of some drug-dealing houseguests who had overstayed their welcome. So she did what any rational person would do. She opened up her oven's natural gas line in hopes of gassing them out of the place. However, even after filling the apartment with gas, the unwelcome guests stayed.
In fact, SHE is the one who became overcome by the fumes and ended up going to the hospital. Apparently she and her 59 year old boyfriend were scared of the coke dealers they had welcomed into their home for inexplicable reasons.
Now that attention has been brought to them and their activities, the two 'guests' will have new housing. A jail.
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Extreme Ironing Update (Cause I Know You Care):
Boston: Day Three of the Rowenta tour
The Ironing Invasion continues. Extreme ironers Steam, Starch, and Short-fuse have completed the Boston leg of the 2 week Rowenta Extreme Ironing Tour. They have successfully completed pressing competition on the amphibious Duck Tour Bus and also set up shop in front of the 'world famous' Cheers bar. Steam conducted an ironing board pyramid stunt in front of Fenuil Hall, much to the consternation of local police.
Steam adds: "We're off to South Dakota tomorrow ironing fans and I'm not sure how good the broadband access is; so we'll have to see when we can get our next update on the site."
Gallery:
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