Thursday, April 01, 2004
Today in History: April 1, 1876 - Philadelphia began a long tradition of 'close but no cigar' when the first official National League (NL) baseball game took place. Boston beat Philadelphia 6-5.
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Feeding into my Obsession with America's Litigious Nature:
A West Virginia man is suing US Airways, saying that the airline didn't warn him that drinking alcohol while on the flight might make him drunk.
As a direct result of US Airways negligence in not warning him, Floyd W Shuler fell down an escalator and was hurt. Floyd is suing for more than $15,000 in damages.
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From Chief MidAtlantic Sulker Glenn McMillen:
A Whole New Meaning For the Term Egg Timer
The National Archives has released a secret 1957 Ministry of Defense report that indicates scientists actually were contemplating using live chickens in their nuclear weaponry to keep the temperature of the bombs/bomb casings up where it needed to be.
Even though this was released on April Fools Day, the government insists that it is authentic, complete with quotes such as: "incorporating some form of heating independent of power supplies under the weapon hull in the emplacement. Chickens, with a heat output of the order of 1,000 BTU (British Thermal Units) per bird per day are a possibility."
"None whatsoever," he said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press. "It's not the kind of thing the civil service does, to set up an April Fool's joke."
Officials planned in 1957 to station 10 land mines, code name "Blue Peacock" with the British Army of the Rhine in Germany. However, the next year the Ministry of Defense Weapons Policy Committee decided to stop work on the 16,000 pound mines, citing reservations about the fallout hazard.
Chicken feathers CAN be so messy, you know.
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Fat hamster in printer sparks rescue
Police initially thought the frantic phone call received in Flensburg, Germany, was an April Fools joke. But no, the woman on the other end hysterically crying about her hamster that was stuck in her printer was anything but joking.
Turns out Teddy, the most porcine of her 5 hamsters, had wandered into the computer printer and gotten wedged in there too tightly to escape. According to the Flensburg police statement: "Contrary to his normal habits, Teddy climbed inside a PC printer and was unable to get out because of his corpulence,"
At least she didn't call the fire department.
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Find Me That Fool
Tristan Ellis, 18, has had quite a career already in crime. Last November he was granted bail after facing 28 breaking and entry charges. Once he got out, he committed another 17 break/entry/assaults.
So when he appeared before Supreme Court Justice Dean Mildren for his latest trial, the judge was 'absolutely staggered' that someone had been stupid enough to put this joker out on the streets at all.
"Who is the idiot who did that?" he demanded.
Uh, that would be...you, sir. Guess he just kind of forgot.
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It's Your Mortgage, Mary!
The Isleta Casino Resort was looking for an untapped niche market, and certainly found it. How's about we prey upon people who are already deeply in debt or borderline bankrupt? CooOOOOoool.
The resort has been running commercials that recommend gambling your few remaining dollars as a way to pay bills. For example: "So, the holidays have passed, and those credit card bills just keep piling up? Well, Isleta Casino Resort comes to your rescue." View: happy lady with dollar bills being counted into her sweaty palms.
Without admitting any ethical lapses, the casino has pulled the commercials.
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Raelian Landing Strip in Queensland?
Winton, Queensland, may be the site of the latest alien touch down! Reports have it that yesterday evening a huge fireball with a flash 'like 50,000 spotlights' crashed to the earth, much to the excitement of the quiet outback town.
Nobody has reported finding the actual space ship, but if the rumbling and such that occurred last night are anything to go by, it's out there somewhere.
"There's probably is a big hole somewhere – but had this fallen on Winton we probably wouldn't be sitting here talking about it," Ms Nelms said.
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Feeding into my Obsession with America's Litigious Nature:
A West Virginia man is suing US Airways, saying that the airline didn't warn him that drinking alcohol while on the flight might make him drunk.
As a direct result of US Airways negligence in not warning him, Floyd W Shuler fell down an escalator and was hurt. Floyd is suing for more than $15,000 in damages.
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From Chief MidAtlantic Sulker Glenn McMillen:
A Whole New Meaning For the Term Egg Timer
The National Archives has released a secret 1957 Ministry of Defense report that indicates scientists actually were contemplating using live chickens in their nuclear weaponry to keep the temperature of the bombs/bomb casings up where it needed to be.
Even though this was released on April Fools Day, the government insists that it is authentic, complete with quotes such as: "incorporating some form of heating independent of power supplies under the weapon hull in the emplacement. Chickens, with a heat output of the order of 1,000 BTU (British Thermal Units) per bird per day are a possibility."
"None whatsoever," he said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press. "It's not the kind of thing the civil service does, to set up an April Fool's joke."
Officials planned in 1957 to station 10 land mines, code name "Blue Peacock" with the British Army of the Rhine in Germany. However, the next year the Ministry of Defense Weapons Policy Committee decided to stop work on the 16,000 pound mines, citing reservations about the fallout hazard.
Chicken feathers CAN be so messy, you know.
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Fat hamster in printer sparks rescue
Police initially thought the frantic phone call received in Flensburg, Germany, was an April Fools joke. But no, the woman on the other end hysterically crying about her hamster that was stuck in her printer was anything but joking.
Turns out Teddy, the most porcine of her 5 hamsters, had wandered into the computer printer and gotten wedged in there too tightly to escape. According to the Flensburg police statement: "Contrary to his normal habits, Teddy climbed inside a PC printer and was unable to get out because of his corpulence,"
At least she didn't call the fire department.
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Find Me That Fool
Tristan Ellis, 18, has had quite a career already in crime. Last November he was granted bail after facing 28 breaking and entry charges. Once he got out, he committed another 17 break/entry/assaults.
So when he appeared before Supreme Court Justice Dean Mildren for his latest trial, the judge was 'absolutely staggered' that someone had been stupid enough to put this joker out on the streets at all.
"Who is the idiot who did that?" he demanded.
Uh, that would be...you, sir. Guess he just kind of forgot.
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It's Your Mortgage, Mary!
The Isleta Casino Resort was looking for an untapped niche market, and certainly found it. How's about we prey upon people who are already deeply in debt or borderline bankrupt? CooOOOOoool.
The resort has been running commercials that recommend gambling your few remaining dollars as a way to pay bills. For example: "So, the holidays have passed, and those credit card bills just keep piling up? Well, Isleta Casino Resort comes to your rescue." View: happy lady with dollar bills being counted into her sweaty palms.
Without admitting any ethical lapses, the casino has pulled the commercials.
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Raelian Landing Strip in Queensland?
Winton, Queensland, may be the site of the latest alien touch down! Reports have it that yesterday evening a huge fireball with a flash 'like 50,000 spotlights' crashed to the earth, much to the excitement of the quiet outback town.
Nobody has reported finding the actual space ship, but if the rumbling and such that occurred last night are anything to go by, it's out there somewhere.
"There's probably is a big hole somewhere – but had this fallen on Winton we probably wouldn't be sitting here talking about it," Ms Nelms said.
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