Thursday, April 15, 2004
Today in History: Apr 15 1912
Unsinkable ship Titanic sinks after being torn by iceberg, with a loss of 1493 passengers.
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The Jefferson Muzzles are out. The Muzzles are awarded to draw national attention to abridgments of free speech and press. If you're bored, take a look.
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Police: Teen Hired Undercover Officer To Kill Mother
A 17 year old from Fort Myers, FL, tried to get his mom killed but unfortunately made the deal with an undercover cop. Carlos Marcelo Chereze paid the detective $2,000 to stage a burglary at his home and shoot his mother while Carlos was locked in another part of the house. His primary instructions: kill Mom, but "He didn't want anything to happen to the television" per the detective. Dude has priorities. And his mother, with her unconditional love, has said that he is still a 'good young man' who has 'been through a lot of trauma.' Wow.
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Motorist ran into his own car
This guy in Switzerland parks his car on a very steep hill and forgets to make use of the hand brake. So he's walking away from the car and it starts to roll down the hill. The guy starts running as fast as fast can be after the car to try catching it. Suddenly, the car hits a curb and stops moving. Mr Swiss Guy has so much momentum built up that he can't stop and slams into his car putting his head through the window and denting the rear panels of the car.
Goes to the hospital & gets treated for cuts and bruises.
And now he's filing a claim with his auto insurance company to cover the damages he did to his own car. Um, no.
Silly Swiss Man.
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Another False Police Report
A 56 year old CT woman has gotten local officials' panties in a bunch. Seems back in December Carol Hall phoned the cops to let them know that someone had poisoned the toilet paper in the Waterbury Superior Court House. Turns out it was a bum rap. They flushed out the lie after much investigation and have charged Carol with falsely reporting an incident.
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What's My Name?
Police in Germany found a little boy wandering across a street in Bremen. They stopped him and asked him what his name was. The answer? "Mummy's boy."
Okey dokey. Put him in the car, drive him around, looking for a house or something. Kid, what's your name? "Pascal's Brother."
Well then. So the cops take little Pascal's Mummy's Boy back to the station in exasperation. His mom had reported him missing, and they learned his real name is Karim. The police returned the toddler to his mom, and recommended that maybe she teach him not only to not wander away, but also to learn his name.
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Next Time Use a Stick.
A 36 year old man in Germany was detained by police for playing fetch with his dog. Well, okay. It was for playing fetch with his dog with an axe. He had gone to a local park and was chucking the axe out there for the dog to fetch back to him.
"Every time the dog obediently fetched the axe and returned it to its master," police in the western city of Aachen said.
"He must have been out of his mind," said an Aachen police spokesman.
"It clearly wasn't a small dog."
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And now from Glenn 'Cookie Puss' McMillen
Expensive Physical Therapy
Rough day for Germans. Another German guy was stuck in a hospital with numerous fractures as a result of a car accident. So he decided to call up a prostitute to help him relieve some stress. So chickie came (snicker) to do her job, and because the guy couldn't walk, he handed her his backcard so she could go to the ATM equivalent and take out $185 from his bank account.
Turns out she withdrew about $2500 from his account. Which means she got REALLY well paid for that trick, seeing as he chickened out on doing the deed anyhow and had sent her away without having had sex.
Unsinkable ship Titanic sinks after being torn by iceberg, with a loss of 1493 passengers.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
The Jefferson Muzzles are out. The Muzzles are awarded to draw national attention to abridgments of free speech and press. If you're bored, take a look.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Police: Teen Hired Undercover Officer To Kill Mother
A 17 year old from Fort Myers, FL, tried to get his mom killed but unfortunately made the deal with an undercover cop. Carlos Marcelo Chereze paid the detective $2,000 to stage a burglary at his home and shoot his mother while Carlos was locked in another part of the house. His primary instructions: kill Mom, but "He didn't want anything to happen to the television" per the detective. Dude has priorities. And his mother, with her unconditional love, has said that he is still a 'good young man' who has 'been through a lot of trauma.' Wow.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Motorist ran into his own car
This guy in Switzerland parks his car on a very steep hill and forgets to make use of the hand brake. So he's walking away from the car and it starts to roll down the hill. The guy starts running as fast as fast can be after the car to try catching it. Suddenly, the car hits a curb and stops moving. Mr Swiss Guy has so much momentum built up that he can't stop and slams into his car putting his head through the window and denting the rear panels of the car.
Goes to the hospital & gets treated for cuts and bruises.
And now he's filing a claim with his auto insurance company to cover the damages he did to his own car. Um, no.
Silly Swiss Man.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Another False Police Report
A 56 year old CT woman has gotten local officials' panties in a bunch. Seems back in December Carol Hall phoned the cops to let them know that someone had poisoned the toilet paper in the Waterbury Superior Court House. Turns out it was a bum rap. They flushed out the lie after much investigation and have charged Carol with falsely reporting an incident.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
What's My Name?
Police in Germany found a little boy wandering across a street in Bremen. They stopped him and asked him what his name was. The answer? "Mummy's boy."
Okey dokey. Put him in the car, drive him around, looking for a house or something. Kid, what's your name? "Pascal's Brother."
Well then. So the cops take little Pascal's Mummy's Boy back to the station in exasperation. His mom had reported him missing, and they learned his real name is Karim. The police returned the toddler to his mom, and recommended that maybe she teach him not only to not wander away, but also to learn his name.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Next Time Use a Stick.
A 36 year old man in Germany was detained by police for playing fetch with his dog. Well, okay. It was for playing fetch with his dog with an axe. He had gone to a local park and was chucking the axe out there for the dog to fetch back to him.
"Every time the dog obediently fetched the axe and returned it to its master," police in the western city of Aachen said.
"He must have been out of his mind," said an Aachen police spokesman.
"It clearly wasn't a small dog."
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
And now from Glenn 'Cookie Puss' McMillen
Expensive Physical Therapy
Rough day for Germans. Another German guy was stuck in a hospital with numerous fractures as a result of a car accident. So he decided to call up a prostitute to help him relieve some stress. So chickie came (snicker) to do her job, and because the guy couldn't walk, he handed her his backcard so she could go to the ATM equivalent and take out $185 from his bank account.
Turns out she withdrew about $2500 from his account. Which means she got REALLY well paid for that trick, seeing as he chickened out on doing the deed anyhow and had sent her away without having had sex.
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