Friday, April 02, 2004
Brawl breaks out at anger-management session
In Woodlawn Highschool (Maryland), an anger management assembly failed quite miserably, ultimately becoming a fracas involving approximately 750 angry and violent students. It all started when some kid's pushy mom decided to confront some bully girls who had been picking on her daughter. Words turned to shouts turned to pushes turned to punches and next thing you know, the whole darned crowd was in chaos.
Meanwhile, on stage, students were role-playing and showing how to resolve conflicts peacefully. Reports are that it took 15 minutes to calm everybody down.
Mom is being charged with trespassing and disrupting school activities. 2 folks were arrested and 11 suspended with risk of expulsion.
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Kitty on the Roof
Pesky Bono, a grey Persian kitty owned by John Sutton, just wouldn't leave John alone the other morning.
John was leaving for work and thought he had managed to shoo the feline away from his Toyota Celica before he got on the road. Boy was he surprised when he slowed down in traffic and the cat slid down off the roof onto the windshield in front of him and clung to the windshield wipers. It is not known if the wipers were on or off.
"It gave me a hell of a fright. Then I realized it was Bono and he was bloody petrified," said Mr. Sutton.
He did, by the way, pull over to get the cat off the windshield. Something I know many of my esteemed readers would not necessarily do.
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50 CENT, BAD *SS M_F, is Allowed to Curse!
Update on previous story from our new Floridian Correspondent, John Picard. Don't make any Star Trek jokes, I understand it causes him to become violent.
So last week I guess it was, I told you about the plan in St Petersburg FL to charge performers for $500 per cuss word during their shows. $10k bond put up front for each night of a show, then additional monies to be paid by the performer and his/her posse for any curses over and above that $10k figure.
Shockingly, the City Council actually killed the proposal! The council was split down the middle (4-4) and therefore the motion was squashed due to lack of majority support. So Mister 50 Cent and Foul Mouthed John Tesh will be able to put on as many concerts there aw they wish, without fear of reprisals.
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DEAR MR PRESIDENT...17-year-old high school honors student John Fellows whipped off an email to GW Bush without thinking to use spell check, grammar check, or brain function check.
His email to the prez said: "I'm going to blow up the White House and Kill you and your family...You're a stupid peace [sic] of shit and deserve to Die!!!"
He was trying, actually, to get back at some chick at school that he was mad at, so he logged into the high school computer under her username and password and send the email under her account.
John's lawyer really thinks this should just be ignored, because "There was a female involved here. There was no genuine threat here."
Now THAT's a convincing argument to acquit.
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That Woman? She's a Pig!
Frustrated 72 year old Thomas Leatham wasn't getting any at home from his wife of 30 years, so he went down the road to find some other pig that would accept his advances. Never mind the fact that it was a quarter ton Saddleback sow that he became involved with.
Thomas and the piggy were caught going to second base by a mother and daughter who immedaitely contacted police, who arrived in time to discover Thomas and the pig being very....friendly with each other.
Actually, in Thomas' own words: "I've been very naughty. I've been with an animal." He did clarify that he and the pig were only making out, they did not actually have sex.
Well, that's completely different, isn't it?
In Woodlawn Highschool (Maryland), an anger management assembly failed quite miserably, ultimately becoming a fracas involving approximately 750 angry and violent students. It all started when some kid's pushy mom decided to confront some bully girls who had been picking on her daughter. Words turned to shouts turned to pushes turned to punches and next thing you know, the whole darned crowd was in chaos.
Meanwhile, on stage, students were role-playing and showing how to resolve conflicts peacefully. Reports are that it took 15 minutes to calm everybody down.
Mom is being charged with trespassing and disrupting school activities. 2 folks were arrested and 11 suspended with risk of expulsion.
8888888888888888888888888888888888888888
Kitty on the Roof
Pesky Bono, a grey Persian kitty owned by John Sutton, just wouldn't leave John alone the other morning.
John was leaving for work and thought he had managed to shoo the feline away from his Toyota Celica before he got on the road. Boy was he surprised when he slowed down in traffic and the cat slid down off the roof onto the windshield in front of him and clung to the windshield wipers. It is not known if the wipers were on or off.
"It gave me a hell of a fright. Then I realized it was Bono and he was bloody petrified," said Mr. Sutton.
He did, by the way, pull over to get the cat off the windshield. Something I know many of my esteemed readers would not necessarily do.
8888888888888888888888888888888888888888
50 CENT, BAD *SS M_F, is Allowed to Curse!
Update on previous story from our new Floridian Correspondent, John Picard. Don't make any Star Trek jokes, I understand it causes him to become violent.
So last week I guess it was, I told you about the plan in St Petersburg FL to charge performers for $500 per cuss word during their shows. $10k bond put up front for each night of a show, then additional monies to be paid by the performer and his/her posse for any curses over and above that $10k figure.
Shockingly, the City Council actually killed the proposal! The council was split down the middle (4-4) and therefore the motion was squashed due to lack of majority support. So Mister 50 Cent and Foul Mouthed John Tesh will be able to put on as many concerts there aw they wish, without fear of reprisals.
8888888888888888888888888888888888888888
DEAR MR PRESIDENT...17-year-old high school honors student John Fellows whipped off an email to GW Bush without thinking to use spell check, grammar check, or brain function check.
His email to the prez said: "I'm going to blow up the White House and Kill you and your family...You're a stupid peace [sic] of shit and deserve to Die!!!"
He was trying, actually, to get back at some chick at school that he was mad at, so he logged into the high school computer under her username and password and send the email under her account.
John's lawyer really thinks this should just be ignored, because "There was a female involved here. There was no genuine threat here."
Now THAT's a convincing argument to acquit.
8888888888888888888888888888888888888888
That Woman? She's a Pig!
Frustrated 72 year old Thomas Leatham wasn't getting any at home from his wife of 30 years, so he went down the road to find some other pig that would accept his advances. Never mind the fact that it was a quarter ton Saddleback sow that he became involved with.
Thomas and the piggy were caught going to second base by a mother and daughter who immedaitely contacted police, who arrived in time to discover Thomas and the pig being very....friendly with each other.
Actually, in Thomas' own words: "I've been very naughty. I've been with an animal." He did clarify that he and the pig were only making out, they did not actually have sex.
Well, that's completely different, isn't it?
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