Wednesday, March 17, 2004
From our usually-silent partner in the MidAtlantic States, Nick Gonzon, there's this tidbit…
Back in the Saddle
Warnings are going out to horse owners in and around Echo Lake, MT to keep an eye out for a horny man who REALLY enjoys riding horses. Most recently, the naked man was observed doing it with a horse in a stable on McCaffery Rd. When he was interrupted, he dashed away in his altogether, leaving behind "his boots and a bottle of hand lotion", per County Sheriff Jim DuPont. This is only the most recent in a series of events.
"It appears we have a serial horse rapist," Dupont said.
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Holy Cartman's Mom, Batman!
So now they're going to clean up the sweetly smutty South Park, so that the little cartoon dudes don't offend anyone's sensibilities when they syndicate. As stated by nypost.com, "
"It's all part and parcel of the uproar since Janet Jackson's breast-baring Super Bowl appearance - which spurred a clampdown on broadcast standards. "
South Park is going into syndication in 2005, hoping to prove that folks who don't have cable will think it's funny. It is expected that about 15% of the 155 syndicated episodes are too crude and rude to be cleaned up enough to air on regular tv.
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See, this is why you need to plan things out before you get in too deep
So this 23 year old guy in Somerset was feeling that he wanted to end it all. Images of God on his computer spurred him to attempt to crucify himself. So he pulled out some wood, and built himself a cross. He attached a note that said "suicide" to the cross. And then he nailed one of his hands to the cross.
That's when he realized that this really needed to fall under the category of Assisted Suicide, as he had no way to get the nail through his other hand. So dude called 9-1-1, and they came to assist. Reports state it was unclear if he wanted to be helped OFF the cross or ON, so they cut the wood & had the nail taken out at the hospital.
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Terrorist Defense
A man in France saw a guy walking across the street the other day. Because the guy looked an awful lot like Osama bin Laden, he decided to run him down. The pedestrian wasn't, in fact, Osama, and luckily was spry enough to escape injury from the oncoming vehicle.
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Didn't See It Comin'
Aurel Blidaru was driving down the road in Timisoara, Romania, when he accidentally ran over an off duty police officer. Driving off with the victim laying in the road behind him, Blidaru was immediately followed by police patrol cars.
When he finally realized it and pulled over, cops were pretty darned surprised to see him climb out of his car wearing dark glasses and carrying a white stick. Turns out, Blidaru is legally deaf and blind. His comments?
"I didn't realise that I'd hit someone. I had a feeling I heard some kind of a noise but I thought it was coming from the car engine."
"I've been driving since 1950 and I've never had any problems. I am registered as deaf and blind, but can still see a bit out of one eye, and I know the route so well to the bank that I don't usually have any problems. And I can hear fine - if people shout at least."
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Back in the Saddle
Warnings are going out to horse owners in and around Echo Lake, MT to keep an eye out for a horny man who REALLY enjoys riding horses. Most recently, the naked man was observed doing it with a horse in a stable on McCaffery Rd. When he was interrupted, he dashed away in his altogether, leaving behind "his boots and a bottle of hand lotion", per County Sheriff Jim DuPont. This is only the most recent in a series of events.
"It appears we have a serial horse rapist," Dupont said.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Holy Cartman's Mom, Batman!
So now they're going to clean up the sweetly smutty South Park, so that the little cartoon dudes don't offend anyone's sensibilities when they syndicate. As stated by nypost.com, "
"It's all part and parcel of the uproar since Janet Jackson's breast-baring Super Bowl appearance - which spurred a clampdown on broadcast standards. "
South Park is going into syndication in 2005, hoping to prove that folks who don't have cable will think it's funny. It is expected that about 15% of the 155 syndicated episodes are too crude and rude to be cleaned up enough to air on regular tv.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
See, this is why you need to plan things out before you get in too deep
So this 23 year old guy in Somerset was feeling that he wanted to end it all. Images of God on his computer spurred him to attempt to crucify himself. So he pulled out some wood, and built himself a cross. He attached a note that said "suicide" to the cross. And then he nailed one of his hands to the cross.
That's when he realized that this really needed to fall under the category of Assisted Suicide, as he had no way to get the nail through his other hand. So dude called 9-1-1, and they came to assist. Reports state it was unclear if he wanted to be helped OFF the cross or ON, so they cut the wood & had the nail taken out at the hospital.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Terrorist Defense
A man in France saw a guy walking across the street the other day. Because the guy looked an awful lot like Osama bin Laden, he decided to run him down. The pedestrian wasn't, in fact, Osama, and luckily was spry enough to escape injury from the oncoming vehicle.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Didn't See It Comin'
Aurel Blidaru was driving down the road in Timisoara, Romania, when he accidentally ran over an off duty police officer. Driving off with the victim laying in the road behind him, Blidaru was immediately followed by police patrol cars.
When he finally realized it and pulled over, cops were pretty darned surprised to see him climb out of his car wearing dark glasses and carrying a white stick. Turns out, Blidaru is legally deaf and blind. His comments?
"I didn't realise that I'd hit someone. I had a feeling I heard some kind of a noise but I thought it was coming from the car engine."
"I've been driving since 1950 and I've never had any problems. I am registered as deaf and blind, but can still see a bit out of one eye, and I know the route so well to the bank that I don't usually have any problems. And I can hear fine - if people shout at least."
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